"Act naturally"
"Found missing"
"Resident alien"
"Advanced BASIC"
"Genuine imitation"
"Airline Food"
"Good grief"
"Same difference"
"Almost exactly"
"Government organization"
"Sanitary landfill"
"Alone together"
"Legally drunk"
"Silent scream"
"American history"
"Living dead"
"Small crowd"
"Business ethics"
"Soft rock"
"Butt Head"
"Military Intelligence"
"Software documentation"
"New York culture"
"New classic"
"Sweet sorrow"
"Childproof"
"Now, then ..."
"Synthetic natural gas"
"Passive aggression"
"Taped live"
"Clearly misunderstood"
"Peace force"
"Extinct Life"
"Temporary tax increase"
"Computer jock"
"Plastic glasses"
"Terribly pleased"
"Computer security"
"Political science"
"Tight slacks"
"Definite maybe"
"Pretty ugly"
"Twelve-ounce pound cake"
"Diet ice cream"
"Working vacation"
"Exact estimate"
"Microsoft Works"
"Communist party"
"Corporate planning."
"High School Education"
"Drug free school zone."
"Carefully selected volunteers."
"Compulsory volunteers."
"Clearly spoken, Mr. Fogg; you explain English by Greek."
"Wise men don't need advice. Fools don't take it."
"No man's life, liberty or fortune is safe...while our legislature is in session."
"A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats."
"Admiration is the daughter of innocence."
"After fish, milk do not wish."
"A full belly makes a dull brain."
"If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing."
"A traveller should have a hog's nose, a deer's legs, and an ass's back."
"All a man needs to be elected President is the kind of profile that looks good on a postage stamp."
"A single has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete animal. He resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors."
"Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other, and scarcely in that; for it is true, we may give advice, but we cannot give conduct. Remember this: They that will not be counseled cannot be helped. If you do not hear reason she will rap you over the knuckles."
"The learned Fool writes his nonsense in better language, but 'tis still nonsense."
"All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move."
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"A little neglect may breed mischief: for want of a nail the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for want of a horse the rider was lost."
"An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest."
"Genius without education is like silver in the mine."
"At the working-man's house hunger looks in, but dares not enter! nor will the bailiff or the constable enter; for industry pays debts, but despair increaseth them."
"Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?" - Quotes by Homer Simpson
"I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES." - Quotes by Homer Simpson
"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" - Quotes by Homer Simpson
"Your lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I, many of them incompetent boobs. I know this because I worked alongside them, gone bowling with them, watched them pass me over for promotions time and again. And I say... This stinks!" - Quotes by Homer Simpson
"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done." - Quotes by Homer Simpson
"I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight." - Quotes by Homer Simpson
"Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own." - Quotes by Homer Simpson
"Mmmm, Gummy-beer." - Quotes by Homer Simpson
"The strong must protect the sweet" - Quotes by Homer Simpson
"Mmmm, purple." - Quotes by Homer Simpson
"Any college that would take your son he should be too proud to go to."
"But some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there."
"If you want to get rid of stinking odors in the kitchen, stop cooking."
"A man who checks out of the express lane with seven items is the same man who will wear Supp-Hose and park in the Reserved for Handicapped spaces."
"An old car that served you so well will continue to serve you until you have just put four new tires under it and then will fall apart."
"An ugly carpet will last forever."
"Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead."
"A pregnancy will never occur when you have a low-paying job which you hate."
"Housework can kill you if done right."
"I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill."
"I'm used to dogs. When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later. A cat would never put up with that kind of rejection. When you returned, she'd stalk you until you dozed off and then suck the air out of your body."
"It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job."
"Know that a happy dieter has other problems."
"Most cheeses need work. I don't want to be in the same country as goat cheese. It always tastes the way a yak looks in one of those National Geographic specials." 2392 "Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
"Telephone books are like dictionaries -- if you know the answer before you look it up, you can eventually reaffirm what you thought you knew but weren't sure. But if you're searching for something you don't already know, your fingers could walk themselves to death."
"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Halftimes take twelve minutes. This is not a coincidence."
"The grass is always greener over the septic tank."
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'"
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. - The Bible : 1 Corinthians
If you have it [love], you don't need to have anything else. If you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you do have. - Sir James M. Barrie
You call it madness, but I call it love. Don Byas
The true beloveds of this world are in their lover's eyes lilacs opening, ship lights, school bells, a landscape, remembered conversations, friends, a child's Sunday, lost voices, one's favorite suit, autumn and all seasons, memory, yes, it being the earth and water of existence, memory. Truman Capote, Other Voices, Other Rooms, 1948
Love is a choice you make from moment to moment. Barbara De Angelis
Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver. Barbara De Angelis
Do you love me because I'm beautiful, or am I am beautiful because you love me? Oscar Hammerstein, II
But one of the attributes of love, like art, is to bring harmony and order out of chaos, to introduce meaning and affect where before there was none, to give rhythmic variations, highs and lows to a landscape that was previously flat. Molly Haskell
Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. Robert Heinlein
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. Katharine Hepburn
If I know what love is, it is because of you. Herman Hesse
You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation...and that is called loving. Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else. Hermann Hesse
Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear. John Lennon
Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone. C.S. Lewis
"...Him that I love, I wish to be free--even from me. Anne Morrow Lindbergh
The best love affairs are those we never had. Norman Lindsay
If I am not worth the wooing, I am surely not worth the winning. Longfellow
On reflection, one of the things I needed to learn was to allow myself to be loved. Isha McKenzie-Mavinga
To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia--to mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess. H.L. Mencken, Prejudices, 1919
Love cures people--both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it. Dr. Karl Menninger
Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Billie Burke
A woman has the age she deserves. Coco Chanel
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative. attributed to Maurice Chevalier, but unverified
As I give thought to the matter, I find four causes for the apparent misery of old age: first, it withdraws us from active accomplishments; second, it renders the body less powerful; third, it deprives us of almost all forms of enjoyment; fourth, it stands not far from death. Cicero
I am long on ideas, but short on time. I expect to live to be only about a hundred. Thomas Alva Edison
The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been. Madeleine L'Engle
Animals are such agreeable friends, they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. George Eliot I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. August Strindberg
A house without a cat, and a well-fed, well-petted, and properly revered cat, may be a perfect house, perhaps, but how can it prove its title? Mark Twain, The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson
It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens. Cynthia E. Varnado
"Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, o'course." - Terry Pratchett