| Lesson 39 Chapter Twelve: "Submission-The Wife's Joy" The following is a summary adaptation of material from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace. Taken from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace, pp. 129-134. Copyright, 1999, Focus, Publishing, Bemidji, Minnesota. Used with permission for the purposes of this devotional series only. May not be reproduced or forwarded without the express consent of the publisher. In last weeks lesson we discovered that Intimacy in the marriage is one of the ways that God planned for the husband and wife to enjoy companionship and unity. Although intimacy has several facets, we studied how God intended for us to enjoy physical intimacy. We were also reminded that the sexual bond a husband and wife share is a blessed gift from God. In this weeks lesson we are discussing "Submission," the Wife's Joy. Submission is an act of obedience that begins in the heart. It's a surrendering of your will to the Lord, as you choose to be under the authority of your husband. Submission opens the gateway to many blessings. These include harmony, fellowship, joy, and peace. I want to caution us to prayerfully consider our ways before the Lord. Ask Him to rid you any faulty views of submission in order that you may see clearly from His view. "Most gracious and loving Father, we ask that you open our hearts Lord to receive your instruction in righteousness. Open our ears that we may hear from you. Grant us the privilege to gain your wisdom as we seek to learn from you today. In Jesus name, Amen." I want to start off by proclaiming that "Submission" is a good thing. We experience it in all forms of life. We submit to our boss' rules and regulations on the job, we submit to ordinances in our cities, we submit to our teachers in school...yet some of us have a problem when it comes to submitting to our husbands. What I have come to know from my own past experience, is that I had a wrong or faulty view of what it meant to be submissive to my husband. I was taught that I had rights and that I must protect those rights, even in marriage, by standing up for myself. I have my own mind and I should not be walked over. I had taken what I heard & learned from other's and made it my view as well. Yet, God in His mercy has shown me over the years that "submission" in marriage is a good thing. When I really searched my heart before the Lord, he revealed to me that my problem lied in submission to Him. I came to finally trust that if my faith and hope was in God, then I could submit to my husband knowing that God was in total control. It has been the most freeing of my experiences in Christ! What you need to know is that submission is God's plan for EVERYONE! He created this orderly world and wants all to live under authority. He planned it this way. He wants us to experience harmony together with our husbands/family, as there is harmony in the Trinity. God has given the husband authority over the wife for her protection. What God wants you to learn is how to walk closely with Him in biblical submission experiencing the joy of serving and knowing Him. One of the things that Mrs. Peace points out on page 130 is that "Many times a wife may fail to see clearly the importance of her submission because she is so focused on what her husband is doing wrong. Instead, she must learn to FOCUS ON HER RESPONSIBILITY." If you are focused or primarily concerned about what your husband should be doing you will miss what God wants you to understand and do. As a wife we must remember to focus on our God-given responsibilities towards our husbands which includes loving him, to respecting him, and submitting to him. Your good works should not be based upon what he is or isn't doing. You should be more concerned about your obedience to God. Any disobedience is considered sin before God. Look at Ephesians 5:15-22: Therefore, be careful how you walk ... understand what the will of the Lord is ... be filled with the Spirit ... speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs ... always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ ... be subject to one another in the fear of Christ ... wives be subject to your own husbands... Being in submission portrays your walk with the Lord. You are showing that you trust in God to work through you for His purpose. You demonstrate that you desire to be in the will of God more than fulfilling your own selfish desires. It's an evidence of a life that is filled or controlled by the Holy Spirit. This ladies, is what we should desire and seek--to please the Lord. I acknowledge with Mrs. Peace, that we do get hurt by our husbands sinning against us. At times, it may seem unbearable. In my own life, I have seen areas in my husbands life that could benefit from change. I have even felt hopeless at times. But I have resolved to not 'focus' on his shortcomings because God is the One who deals faithfully with His children. He belongs to the Lord. He's His son and I praise God for Him. When I promised to serve God, it was not based upon what my husband did or didn't do. I gave the Lord my complete life to do as He pleased; with no strings attached. I'm responsible for my obedience to serve Him faithfully. I try to be faithful in going to God, crying out to Him on behalf of my husband. I have chosen to pour out my heart like water before the face of the Lord for my husbands life. I desire that his life be fulfilled in serving the Lord as well. I truly want the Lord to be glorified & pleased in me. We must always remember that our sin is never justified before the Lord. Look at what the scripture says: Matthew 7:5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. Once we focus on our God-given responsibility to biblically submit to our husbands, it is likely that our situations will change. We will learn how to better deal with our circumstances and approach them in a biblical manner. On page 131, Mrs. Peace gives us four biblical principles to follow so that we can begin to experience joy in submitting to our husbands. She points out that "one common misunderstanding among wives is that submission of a wife to her husband is a burden or a cross to bear." What we will learn is that this misunderstanding is contrary to what the Bible teaches. We must not distrust and act hostile toward God's teachings. As Christians, our view must always be in line with God's Word. Our view must stem from Christ's teachings, not the world's. We are to be in the world, but not of it. We must learn to practice renewing our minds from the scriptures. When we do this we will begin to delight in it. Four Biblical Principles Concerning A Wife's Submission and Joy 1. Joy results from trusting and obeying God's Word. ...Thy testimonies ... are the joy of my heart. Psalm 119:111 God's word can become a joy for you just like they were for the Psalmist. Biblical submission to your husband can become one of God's testimonies to others. 2. Joy can result from knowing that God is working to accomplish His purposes even in difficult circumstances. Consider it joy my brethren when you encounter various trials... James 1:2 You must believe that God is ALWAYS working out His purpose in your life. You must begin to see all that happens in your life as an opportunity to glorify God. God can overcome evil in your life and work it for your good and His glory. (See Romans 8:28.) Begin to say, "This is good for me and God has a purpose in it or He would not permit it. This is not fun, but I do have joy in knowing that God is working in my life to accomplish His purposes." 3. Joy comes from following the Example of the Lord Jesus especially in difficult times. Jesus endured the cross, despising the shame ... but He did it for the joy that was set before Him. Hebrews 12:2 Jesus' joy was found in knowing that He was doing the will of the Father. You too can experience joy in the same way. Begin by feasting on the fact that as you obey the Lord He is pleased with you. Look to the joy that is set before you in knowing that one day, you shall see God. I don't want to be ashamed at His appearing. "Do you?" Look to the future with hope. Train your mind to set it's hope in the fact that God loves you personally, has a purpose and divine plan for you, and that He will provide for you. All of your needs are met in Him. When you are in despair, focus on I Corinthians 13: "Love ENDURES ALL things." "Don't you want to experience the joy of knowing now and in eternity that you sought to please the Lord?" 4. Joy results from a "Spirit-Filled" life. ... But be filled with the Spirit. Ephesians 5:18 "What does this mean?" Being Spirit filled means that you are 'controlled' by the Holy Spirit and by God's Word. You should seek to put into practice Colossians 3:16 which strongly urges all believers to "let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly with all wisdom." Being filled with the Spirit is not based solely upon how you feel. Our feelings change and we don't always 'feel' like doing the right thing. But as we gain insight from the Word of God, and begin to think about life from God's perspective, we will begin to experience joy. True inner joy comes from developing a relationship with the Lord. It's not a joy that I can give to myself, it has to come from the Lord, or it is not real, permanent, lasting joy. The way to joy is to begin giving thanks to God in everything. Developing a thankful heart. Gratefulness must be in your thoughts as well as expressed verbally. (See Colossians 3:16 & I Thessalonians 5:18.) You can experience the joy of the Lord by making melody in your heart to Him. Singing in your heart to the Lord (and out loud), meditating upon His promises, recalling His goodness. There are many ways you can begin to express your gratitude to God. Just think about His goodness to you... There is always joy in glorifying the Lord. Won't you commit today to further learning about the blessed joy of submission. Resolve to gain a clear understanding of biblical submission. You don't have to dread being obedient to the Lord. His commandments are not burdensome. We make them burdensome when we choose to go our own way apart from His truth. Submission is God's ordained purpose for you. If you're struggling in this area, the Lord wants to give you freedom. Pray right now for His deliverance. Confess to Him your sin. Seek to change by the power of Christ in you. Hasten to him. He's waiting and He wants to give you freedom and joy as you choose to obey Him. -------------------------------------------------------- Consider responding to the following questions: 1. In what area do you struggle with being submissive to your husband? What do you think is causing your struggle? (i.e., resentment, bitterness, faulty view, etc.) 2. Seek to find all that you can on the idea of "submission" and share what you have learned with the group. What scriptures will you sink your heart into that will help you glorify God as you practice biblical submission? 3. If submission is to be the Wife's Joy, and not her burden, how will you begin cultivating a heart of joy? What scriptures will you commit to memory as you practice having a heart of "gratitude." For our next two lessons we will look at more biblical principals on submission and discover God's provisions for protection of a submissive wife. Please pray that the Lord use these lessons to change our hearts toward Him. May the grace of our Lord be with all of you, Pamm |