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Hello, my name is Josette and I am a very special
Persian Kitty. I have been living with my people for 10 years now and I have
acquired a lot of experience in people training. I set up this web page so I
could share my tips and tricks with other cats.
Tip 1, Begging:
I learned very early that if you want a special treat you need to do
something that people think is cute. When my person was making a roast beef
sandwich I learned that if I sat up and pretend to beg that I would get a
piece of meat. I have been using this trick now for 10 years and have gotten
wonderful results. People are so gullible.
Tip 2, Dominate the kitchen counter:
The kitchen is where people seem to spend a lot of time. If you want to
control your people you have to control the kitchen counter. This can be
difficult, though, and you have to be persistent. Once you gain control of
the counter the advantage to you is clear. You are at just the right height
to get a hug and a pet every time they go by. When they are approaching you
don't forget to give them one of those please, please pet me looks, they
can't resist. I still don't understand why they don't like me sitting on the
counter. People - I don't think we will ever understand them.
Tip 3, How to get the warm chair:
In the evening when your people are watching television find a spot that is
close but just out of sight. Listen to the television. When the volume
suddenly rises this means that it is a commercial. One of them will get up to
use the people box. Move quickly to take the seat and curl up and pretend to
sleep. When they come back be careful not to look up. They will think you are
sleeping and go sit somewhere else and you get to keep the warm chair.
Tip 4, The paper weight:
When your people start reading the newspaper you can quickly lose their
attention. I have found that the best way to regain their attention is try
and hold down the newspaper. You do this by jumping onto the table, determine
which page they are looking at and sit on it. They will be very appreciative
and give you a big hug and gently place you on the floor. Repeat as
necessary.
Well I have to go now, there is a new box in the house and I have to go
sleep in it.
meow meow
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