why do we have to think like that? why do we feel it is unacceptable to be the tiniest bit overweight?
right now, i am too ashamed to even go to the gym. i feel like i have to lose weight before i can go there. well....THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT! is it!
i am uncomfortable going to restaurants, because i feel like everyone will be staring at what the 'fat girl' is eating....wondering WHY she is eating at all...she should be home, using the stairmaster....certainly not stuffing her face!
well, you know what? it's ok to eat. do YOU actually notice what other people in a restaurant are eating? or what size they are? no.... you go to a restaurant to eat. well, so do they.
and how about going into a store to look for clothes? i remember the last time i went into one of those trendy-poo stores in some generic mall....i was casually flipping through some rack....the perky little size 2 salesgirl came over... i just mumbled something about looking for a gift for a friend....i was too ashamed to tell her what size i was looking for...or worse...have her try to guess... i was honestly afraid that she would laugh at me, if she knew i was looking for clothes for myself...
i am SO good at being insecure.
but....i am trying SO hard....making a conscious effort to be happy witht he way i look... hell, i'm pretty! never mind being overweight.... i am good looking! and i CAN be happy about the way my life is now...instead of waiting until i am 10 lbs thinner...20 lbs thinner...
any thoughts?