Email Dear Tabby with your questions and problems, and they will be answered in this column.

Dear Tabby, I have a problem. My human gets treats and yummy food for himself all the time, but doesn't bring me home any treats or yummy CANNED food (instead of that awful nasty dry food - BLECH!), until I scream my head off for days at a stretch. It takes days until the stupid, denser-than-fog human gets the message. What should I do to make sure that the denser-than-fog human hears my requests for better food sooner? Signed, Fed Up With Stupid, Dense Humans Dear Fed Up, This is indeed such a common problem that Dear Tabby has to wonder what our humans must be thinking sometime! Why, my own human often insists upon feeding me a dry, senior diet (just because I have reached a certain comfortable age). There are a number of things you can do, but each carries its own risks. Many cats in this situation will embark upon a hunger strike. This rarely goes unnoticed by our humans, and out of a tremendous guilt, they will often proffer up a most delectable array of treats. Of course, one runs the risk of being hastily taken to TED for examination in this circumstance. If all else fails, when the human offers an offending food substance, be sure the human sees you sniff at it in a most indignant manner, and walk away. Later in the evening, it is a good idea to serenade the human with your tales of woe and hunger. This is most effective at 2:30 in the morning, for this is when humans are at their weakest. Hopefully, one of these suggestions will be effective. Good luck.

Dear Tabby, My Dad won't stay in bed long enough in the morning. I wake him up at 4AM (just to get ahead of that nasty 7AM alarm) and by 7 he gets up. I need tummy rubs and hedbutts in the morning, but he sleeps through the first part and when he finally wakes up enough to rub my tummy, he gets out of bed! How can I make him stay longer? Addicted to Tummy Rubs Dear Addicted, I completely understand this very problem! I too enjoy a luxurious morning tummy rub, and my own human has a nasty propensity for trying to sleep in as late as possible, and then skipping the tummy rubs altogether, a most disagreeable habit. One thing that I do, that may work for you, is that when my mother gets into bed, I immediately settle in on her pillow, on top of her head, and proceed to lick her face. She seems to think this a most sweet habit, and so she usually reaches up and gives me a tummy rub. Not as good as first thing in the morning, but still a tummy rub. If you want your dad to stay in bed longer, may I suggest waking him first at around 2AM and then again at 4AM? This will have the effect of making your humans a little more tired and less eager to get out of bed in the morning. If this is not possible (or if you happen to find yourself banished from the bedroom, a risk with this maneuver), perhaps finding a way to knock the clock off the bedside table, or even unplugging it, so that your human oversleeps. If your dad is anything like my mother, once she's overslept, she figures she's already late, so why rush. If none of these techniques work, try ignoring your father completely. I know it'll be difficult, but it will make him desire giving you a tummy rub that much more!

Dear Tabby, Last summer my friends, T_, M_____ and I were the babycat TGKs (TuffGirl Kitties). We had wonderful adventures together. Now, when we want to do something, M____ brings N_____ (a boy kitty) along and, and you no what? They're always smooching! And when T_ had free tickets Disney World, did she think of her old friends? No, she was looking for J_____ and P____ (both boy kitties). What's wrong? I want my two best frends to have adventures together again. Missing her friends Dear Missing, I do understand your problem, and all I can say is that this is normal. As young girl kitties grow up, their minds to to thoughts of boykitties. At first, it seems like such a novelty, and a girlkitty may temporarily spend less time with her girlkitty friends, but let me assure you, they will always always need you! There are just some things boykitties really aren't any good for. Perhaps you could suggest to M____ and T_ a girls-only outing? Tell them you miss your old adventures, and I'm certain that they'll want to have another one! And, young Missing, remember, there's a boykitty out there for you, too!

Dear Tabby, It's me, Missing her friends, with another problem. Yesterday, my friend Nicky (a big, black boy cat) came in from the OUT and when I went to say hello, he put his paw on me and licked my ear. So I gave him a headbut, and he gave me a headbut, and I got a funny feeling all over. Do you think I'm sick and that Mom will force me to go to TEDs? I'm a TGK, but I hate TED! Thank you for your help, Now confused Dear Confused, Was the funny feeling in the pit of your stomach, like you wanted to produce a rather large furball? Were you feeling a little jittery, and wanting to take a little extra care at grooming your coat? If so, I believe it's the first blush of young love, much as your girlkitty friends have experienced! It's such a beautiful thing to see young kitties in love! Why don't you spend a little time with Nicky, perhaps laying in the sun, or napping together? It may be that you two are destined to be special friends! But if it isn't this, then I'd hide, because if your mother finds out, she may try to take you to TED!

Last updated August 14, 1998