Jennifer is Emma's mother. When I met Jen she was an inmate in our county jail, pregnant, and not sure whether she would deliver her baby as an inmate or not. Jen and I worked together for almost five months before Emma was born. She came to class, encouraged other women to attend class, worked hard on setting some priorities for the rest of her life and worked hard at being a good friend and encourager to many of the other women in her cell grouping.

Jennifer is not typical of the kind of inmate I work with, but there are many like her. These exceptional women are those who are using their circumstances in jail to better themselves and their children. They realize that they have reached a crossroad in their lives and must make a decision to change if they want something different. Their circumstances are as varied as the women themselves, but one thread binds them all together - the need to provide a better life for themselves and their children.

When Jen delivered Emma I was not available to come. I wish I had been there, but Jen understood. When I arrived at the hospital, she was enjoying time with Emma, but very concerned about one issue - where Emma would go when she returned to jail. We had tried to make arrangements for foster care for Emma through a program designed for inmates, but things just hadn't worked out. Jen's family was unable to take Emma and we were really short on time and solutions. That's how Emma came to stay at our house.

Reality is that there are not enough families and agencies to help all of the Jennifers and Emmas out there. These families have special needs that may not be workable in mainstream fostering programs.

• As long as mom and baby are in close geographical proximity, reasonable effort should be made to get mom and baby together, This often means spending time standing in line at the local jail or prison for visitation through glass. It often means sending notes and letters with pictures to keep the mom up on what's going on with her child.
• It may include writing letters to parole and probation personnel regarding your thoughts on the need to get mom and child together, requests for halfway housing where the family can be together, and other kinds of options that will help to reintegrate the family.
• It may mean long-term foster care with the understanding that family reunification is the goal. Moving the child from one family to another is disrupting to everyone and should be kept to a minimum. This means that the foster family is committed for the long haul if mom is away for a year or more, but always understands that this child will return to the parent when possible.
• It means building a relationship between the inmate mother, the foster family, the child or children, and, whenever possible, with the inmate's family. Advantages to relationship building are many: easier transition for the child, a safety net of care options, mentoring between foster family and the inmate, assistance from the family is sometimes possible, and the foster family is often able to maintain contact after the family is reunited so they can remain a part of the child's life and the child remains a part of theirs.
• It may mean allowing mom (or dad) to make decisions regarding the care of the child that are different than those the foster family makes for their own child. When possible, this should be considered. These decisions may include immunization status, alternate care providers, type of school or day care program, and religious teachings. While not every option can, or should, be controlled by the absent parent, some cooperative working should be encouraged.
• Lastly, because placements outside mainstream programs may be the best option, it may mean that the foster family bears the bulk of financial responsibility for the inmate's child. That doesn't mean that there aren't any financial assistance programs there. Medicaid will often cover medical costs, WIC provide food, and day care associations help with child care for inmates' children. The inmate's family or friends may be able to assist with finances or provided needed items. There are also programs to help provide Christmas gifts for these children. However, many day to day costs - clothes, diapers, food other than WIC items, toys and gadets, pictures - may be born by the foster family without compensating funds. These expenses may make it more difficult for some families who would assist, but can't due to financial constraints.

Our family has been blessed by having Emma with us. We undertook her care knowing that we might have her for two years, but that more or less time was possible. We have made wonderful friends with Jen's family and we are glad that they come and get Emma for regular visits. We have received some wonderful letters and cards from Jen. The two hour trek to go down and visit her is not always easy to plan and execute, but we have done it. Thankfully, Jen's mom has also been able to take Emma to see Jen, so their contact is not limited to when I can go.

Jen and Emma are not the first, or the last, family we will assist. Not all of these families need foster care. Some, like Beth and Keth, just need help here and there with friendship, transportation, mentoring, references and accountability. Some of these families just need to see what a "functional family" looks like, a model to follow, and a place to turn for advice and emotional support.

Regardless of the need, God supplies! We have found Him to be more than faithful to supply whatever is most needed and to bless those willing to get involved. I can assure you that we have received far more than we have been required to provide! Other families who have entered in to share their homes with other families in need can also attest to God's abundant supply and to the rich blessings that come when you share what you have with those who have not.
I'd like to leave you with a few pictures which demonstrate the blessings of involvement. I hope you heart is touched by them enough to pray, and maybe even enough to explore how God can use your family.

A happy Emma at play

Emma sleeps in Kathy's arms.

Emma, all tired out, after a hard day at play.

Beth and Keth just hours after Keth was born.

Keth sleeps while we admire.

Happy mom and baby pose for the camera

An Update on Jennifer and Emma

In Sept., 2002, Jennifer moved to a half-way house near us and we began the process of reuniting Jennifer and Emma. For several months, this meant weekly visits and some long weekends Emma spent with Jen and her family. We were grateful to see the progress in the relationship. In early December, Jennifer was released from the half-way house and began the process of rebuilding her life.

Around Thanksgiving, 2002, Emma had an ear infection that coincided with a knot that begin to arise over her right cheekbone. After several trips to the doctor, a couple of rounds of antibiotics, and some advice from a friend who also a pediatrician, we took Emma in for a CAT scan of her face. The CAT scan on Dec. 23 revealed that Emma had cancer in her face which was causing the knot. After a shakey Christmas, Emma was admitted to the local children's hospital and further tests revealed that the cancer on her face was histiocytosis. The cancer had eaten away much of the cheekbone underneath the tumor and invaded the brain space, but other areas of her body appeared to be cancer-free.

Thankfully, this kind of cancer is easily treated and has an excellent long-term prognosis. After receiving her first chemo treatment, she was released from the hospital into Jen's care and ended her official stay in our home on New Year's Day, 2003. In less than 2 weeks, the cancer was noticably reduced and Emma has continued to do well under treatment.

We would appreciate your prayers for Emma's continued recovery and healing and for Jennifer as she takes over Emma's care. Emma and Jen continue to be a part of our life and we look forward to seeing what God will continue to do in their lives.

Emma before treatment. Note raised bump on her right cheek.

Our happy Emma playing and back to her normal happy self.