Important Lessons for All

My oldest daughter recently went to a teen institute seminar. When she came home from this program she was very excited about all that she had learned. She shared many of the exciting things she had learned as well as the one thing that she felt taught her the most. As someone who has lost many friends in her life, many due to drinking and driving, I felt that the following piece was an excellant teacher. If we can all teach our children this lesson maybe the suffering from this type of loss can be put to a stop. As a person who drinks occassionaly I can honestly say that I have never and never will get behind the wheel of a vehicle while drinking. I have picked up too many ppl in an ambulance when I was an EMT to even consider doing such a thing. When my husband and I go out, one is always the designated driver. Our daughters have been taught from a very early age that if they chose to drink then they are to call home no matter what time of the day or night to get a safe ride home. I only wish more parents would do the same.


This page is dedicated to the memory of two very good friends of mine. Timmy was 15 when a drunk driver took his life. Even though he's been gone 20 years now his loss is something I'll never get over. Another friend who's loss I will never get over is Bobby Wayne. Bobby Wayne was on his way to work when a hit and run driver took his life. He was only 21 and planning on getting married soon. In the 16 years since his death I have wondered why someone would choose to drink and drive and risk taking someone's life. Timmy and Bobby Wayne, you may be gone from this world, but you are always with me. The day you left, you took a piece of my soul with you. I love you both and I will never forget either of you. Someday we will be together again. Until then I will do anything I can to try to prevent someone else from going through the pain I have gone through all these years. Sue

SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE TAUGHT HIM

I went to a birthday party, but I remembered what you said. You told me not to drink at all, so I had a Sprite instead. I felt proud of myself, the way you said I would, that I didn't choose to drink and drive, though some friends said I should. I knew I made a healthy choice and your advice to me was right as the party finally ended and the kids drove out of sight. I got into my own car, sure to get home in one piece, never knowing what was coming, something I expected least. Now I'm lying on the pavement. I can hear the policeman say, "The kid that caused this wreck was drunk." His voice seems far away. My own blood is all around me, as I try hard not to cry. I can hear the paramedics say, "This Girl is going to die." I'm sure the guy had no idea, while he was flying high, because he chose to drink and drive, that I would have to die. So why do people do it, knowing that it ruins lives? But now the pain is cutting me like a hundred stabbing knives. Tell my sister not to be afraid, tell Daddy to be brave, and when I go to heaven to put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave. Someone should have taught him that it's wrong to drink and drive. Maybe if his mom and dad had, I'd still be alive. My breath is getting shorter. I'm getting really scared. These are my final moments, and I'm so unprepared. I wish that you could hold me Mom, as I lie here and die. I wish that I could say I love you and good-bye.

Retold by Jane Watkin Taken from Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul

This next poem is a poem my oldest daughter found at school. When she came home and told me about it I asked her to get me a copy so that I could put it here. What makes this one so sad is the fact that it is TRUE and it could happen to you.

A Pizza, A Party, and a Moonlight Ride

Jenny was so happy about the house they had found. For once in her life 'twas the right side of town. She unpacked her things with such great ease, as she watched her new curtains blow in the breeze.

How wonderful it was to have her own room. School would be starting, she'd have friends over soon. There'd be sleep-overs and parties; she was so happy. It's just the way she wanted her life to be.

On the first day of school everything went just great; she made new friends and even got a date! She thought, "I want to be popular and I'm going to be, because I just got a date with the star of the team!"

To be known in this school you have to have clout, and dating this guy would sure help her out! There was only one problem stopping her fate - Her parents had said she was too young to date.

"Well, I just won't tell them the entire truth; they won't know the difference, and what's there to lose? Jenny asked to stay with her friends that night. Her parents frowned, but said "all right."

Excited, she got ready for the big event, but as she rushed around like she had no sense, she began to feel guilty about all the lies - But what's a pizza, a party and a moonlight ride?

Well the pizza was good and the party was great, but the moonlight ride would have to wait; for Jeff was half drunk by this time, but he kissed her and said that he was just fine.

Then the room filled with smoke and Jeff took a puff. Jenny couldn't believe he was smoking that stuff! Now Jeff was ready to ride to the point, but only after he'd smoked another joint.

They jumped in the car for the moonlight ride, not thinking that he was too drunk to drive. They finally made it to the point at last, and Jeff started to make a pass.

A pass is not what Jenny wanted at all! (And by "pass" I don't mean playing football). "Perhaps my parents were right...maybe I am to young. Boy, how could I ever be so dumb."

With all of her might, she pushed Jeff away: "Please take me home, I don't want to stay." Jeff cranked up the engine and floored the gas; in a matter of seconds they were going too fast.

As Jeff drove on in a fit of wild anger, Jenny knew her life was in danger. She begged and pleaded for him to slow down, but he just went faster as they neared the town.

"Just let me get home! I'll confess that I lied. I really went out for a moonlight ride." Then all of a sudden, she saw a big flash; "Oh, God, please help us! We're going to crash!" She didn't remember the force of the impact; just that everything all of a sudden went black. She felt someone remove her from the twisted rubble, and heard, "Call and ambulance! These kids are in trouble!"

Voices she heard ... a few words at best, but she heard there were two cars involved in the wreck. Then she wondered if Jeff was all right, and if the people in the other car were alive.

She awoke in the hospital to faces so sad, "You've been in a wreck and it looks pretty bad." The voices echoed inside her head, as they gently told her that Jeff was dead.

They said, "Jenny, we've done all we could do, but it looks as if we'll lose you too." "But the people in the other car?" Jenny cried. "We're sorry, Jenny, they also died."

Jenny prayed, "God, forgive me for what I have done; I only wanted to have just one night of fun." "Tell those people's family I've made their lives dim, and I wish I could return their families to them."

"Tell Mom and Dad I'm sorry I lied, and it's my fault that so many have died. Oh, nurse won't you please just tell them that for me?" But the nurse just stood there - she never agreed.

She took Jenny's hand with tears in her eyes and a few minutes later, Jenny died. A man asked the nurse, "Why didn't you give that girl her one last request?"

She looked at the man with eyes so sad, "Because the people in the other car were her Mom and Dad."

This story is sad and unpleasant, but true. So young people, take heed, it COULD happen to you!

Author Unknown

Taken from OUTTA CONTROL A column for the American Teen by Matt Sargent

Ok, if the first two didn't teach you a lesson, maybe this next one will get the message across. I don't know who wrote this, but I recieved it in email and it really touched me.

The Little Boy

I hurried into the local department store to grab some last minute Christmas gifts. I looked at all the people and grumbled to myself. I would be in here forever and I just had so much to do. Christmas was beginning to become such a drag. I kinda wished that I could just sleep through Christmas. But I hurried the best I could through all the people to the toy department. Once again I kind of mumbled to myself at the prices of all these toys. And wondered if the grand kids would even play with them.

I found myself in the doll aisle. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a little boy, about 5, holding a lovely doll. He kept touching her hair and he held her so gently. I could not seem to help myself. I just kept looking over at the little boy and wondered who the doll was for, when a woman checked on him, and calling his aunt by name, the little boy said,"Are you sure I don't have enough money?"

She replied a bit impatiently, "You know that you don't have enough money for it." The aunt told the little boy not to go anywhere, that she had to go get some other things and would be back in a few minutes. And then she left the aisle.

The boy continued to hold the doll. After a bit I asked the boy who the doll was for. He said, "It is the doll my sister wanted so badly for Christmas. She just knew that Santa would bring it." I told him that maybe Santa was going to bring it. He said, "No, Santa can't go where my sister is...I have to give the doll to my Mamma to take to her". I asked him where his sister was. He looked at me with the saddest eyes and said, "She has gone to be with Jesus."

"My Daddy says that Mama is going to have to go be with her." My heart nearly stopped beating. Then the boy looked at me again and said, "I told my Daddy to tell Mama not to go yet. I told him to tell her to wait till I got back from the store."

Then he asked me if I wanted to see his picture. I told him I would love to. He pulled out some pictures he had taken at the front of the store. He said "I want my Mamma to take this with her so she don't ever forget me." "I love my Mama so very much and I wish she did not have to leave me".

"But Daddy says she will need to be with my sister." I saw that the little boy had lowered his head and had grown so very quiet. While he was not looking, I reached into my purse and pulled out a handful of bills. I asked the little boy, "Shall we count that money one more time?"

He grew excited and said "Yes, I just know it has to be enough." So I slipped my money in with his, and we began to count it. Of course it was plenty for the doll. He softly said, "Thank you, Jesus, for giving me enough money." Then the boy said "I just asked Jesus to give me enough money to buy this doll, so Mama can take it with her, to give to my sister."

"And He heard my prayer." "I wanted to ask Him for enough to buy my Mama a white rose, but I didn't ask Him, but He gave me enough to buy the doll and a rose for my Mama." "She loves white roses so very, very much." In a few minutes the aunt came back, and I wheeled my cart away. I could not keep from thinking about the little boy, as I finished my shopping in a totally different spirit than when I had started. And I kept remembering a story I had seen in the newspaper several days earlier, about a drunk driver hitting a car and killing a little girl, and the Mother was in serious condition. The family was deciding on whether to remove the life support. Now surely this little boy did not belong with that story.

Two days later, I read in the paper where the family had disconnected the life support and the young woman had died. I could not forget the little boy, and just kept wondering if the two were somehow connected. Later that day, I could not help myself and I went out and bought some white roses and took them to the funeral home, where the young woman was. And there she was, holding a lovely white rose, the beautiful doll, and the picture of the little boy in the store. I left there in tears, my life changed forever. The love that little boy had for his little sister and his mother was overwhelming. And in a split second a drunk driver had ripped the life of that little boy to pieces.


My oldest daughter recieved this in email. After reading it I decided that this poem too belongs on this page. (12/21/00)

I Love You

Near to the door he paused to stand, as he took his class ring off her hand.
All who were watching did not speak, as a silent tear ran down his cheek.
And through his mind the memories ran, of the moments they walked and ran in the sand hand and hand.
But now, her eyes were so terribly cold, for he would never again have her to hold.
They watched in silence as he bent near and whispered the words... "I LOVE YOU" in her ear.
He touched her face and started to cry, As he put on his ring and wanted to die.
And just then the wind began to blow, as they lowered her casket into the snow...
This is what happens to man alive, When friends let friend
Drink and drive

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Last updated 12/21/00 12:25am EST

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