There are more and more single parent families now, I wanted to share some of feelings and thoughts on being a single parent. All the emotions, fears, hopes that are wrapped up in the day to day life. Being a single parent is so much different than when you're still with the other parent even if you still have a great relationship, it's different when you're not "together".
The hardest part is finding time for yourself. Sometimes I can't wait to get to work. There the decisions aren't mine to make. The pressure on you as a single parent are incredible. There is noone else to help you make your decisions and inevitably you make mistakes. But that one thank you seems to make up for it all. I wouldn't trade a moment of it, as difficult as it gets sometimes, I wouldn't change anything if I had the chance to do it all over.
The feelings of lonlieness sometimes seem to be too much. Especially at night after they've gone to bed and I'm alone. That's the time my mind starts to run. Worrying about bills, what they need, if I'm doing a good job, the mistakes I've made so far. Praying that they'll be okay, that they're life won't be a struggle, that only the best happens for them. That's where the net has become an escape for me. Talking with other people that are in my same situation helps, let's me know I'm not alone and I'm doing a good job, that others go through the same pain and happiness I do. One thing I've learned is it's never the same each day. *L*
When that little hand touches your cheek and they tell you they love you it makes it all worth it. My favorite time of the day is after bath time and my son snuggles up next to me and holds my hand. Or when my daughter tells me everything she did that day.
I dread the day when they're gone and I have to start living for myself again. I'm not sure I will remember how. I don't date very much because I don't want my children around that kind of enviornment. I only go out on the weekends they're gone. I don't keep alcohol in my house and I never drink around my children. I don't mean this to sound preachy. These are just decisions I've made because I think my kids have it hard enough without me having a revolving door and seeing me drunk.
The thing that preys on my mind the most is that I'm not doing a good enough job. I'm not perfect (hard to belive isn't it?). I lose my temper with them especially if I've had a bad day. It's not their fault that my day didn't go well. And I need to remind myself messes can be cleaned up. I get exasperated some days because I've cleaned and within an hour it looks like a tornado hit. Or the mornings when my son is being difficult and won't get up or get dressed and I'm running late. But they always forgive me and in their eyes I'm wonderful. Sometimes I feel so in awe of this gift I've been given. And as bad as it sounds some days I dread getting out of bed.
I would like to hear some of your thoughts and feelings on being a parent. Whether a single or a couple, parenting is the hardest and most rewarding job anyone will ever do. So just send me your thoughts and I'll add them to my page.
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