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My first brush with parental law was so bad that I had to get my attorney Grandpa Mike. Why hire family? Because with great opening remarks like the following, getting through childhood is gonna be a breeze!!

As I understand the accusation: The prosecution alleges that young, innocent, cute little Taylor Marston, a perfect child thus far with no criminal background purposely and with malice aforthought
"Bit his mother on the leg" for which he was punished without a trial or benefit of counsel.

The defense will show, merely by it's opening statement, that this Affectionate, Precious, Adorable, Loveable child, was running to the "warmth of his mother's bosom, when he tripped, lost his balance and began falling. With terror in his eyes!, his mouth open "wanting" to warn those in his way, that he was falling, fell against his mother's leg, "accidently" biting down to obtain some sort of grip before falling to the cold, rough, and damp floor.

In that tragic, tragic moment his mother "ASSUMED" that she had been biten, obviously mistakingly convinced by the welt on her leg. This welt admittedly was "POSSIBLY" caused by the childs teeth as he fell to his peril towards the carpet.

Do we spank Grandpa when he staggers and falls? Did we punish Grandma when she fells upstairs? Ladies and Gentlemen do we punish the old, the weak or the clumsy? No! Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, the defense rests......cause it's naptime.





Me and my attorney, case closed!!




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