Of course everyone is an individual and our stories are all different.
Mine was shaped by not only by the times and my living in a small
Midwestern town, but also by childhood abuse which I won't get into here.

First a poem I like that I found a few years ago, on some calendar. I have kept the page it was on but can't remember who wrote it except it had the name Saraha on it. I just like that poem!

"Here in this body are the sacred rivers: here are the sun and moon, as well as the pilgrimage places. I have not encountered another temple as blissful as my own body."

It seemed like the 60's were a time of telling women that they were finally free, free to choose to do whatever they wanted, free to be whatever they wanted and free to burn their bras. Well, I never burned mine, I thought that was unnecessary. Besides, I hate wasting things so if I had decided to give up wearing them, I would have donated mine to charity! Hey, I'm not proud!

It just seemed like as "free" as we were hearing we were supposed to be, that somehow the people that lived in my small town never heard of it. Life went on the same. Except for one thing, it seemed like women were now supposed to dislike the role of mothering. That was a problem for me since I have always marveled at the miniature people who we are entrusted with, our children, and wanted to be around mine as much as possible. I didn't have any yet, but knew that when I had children I would be the one to rear them, not a daycare center, not a professional care giver.       Me.

So what is a feminist?

I think that word causes a lot of people to cringe. Sometimes a feminist is considered a bra burning, man hating, children excluding female, who has so many hang-ups that their opinions and lives are despised or at the least, laughed at. Is it possible to be a feminist and still consider rearing children to be an exciting, fulfilling life, and even be in a relationship with a man you love? Can a feminist stay at home, bake cookies, wipe little noses, hold tiny hands as they nurse their baby, and sing lullabies? I think so. Can a feminist, have her baby born at home, teach her kids at home instead of handing them over to the professionals? Of course. (See my Home Birth Page or my Home School Page ) I have gone through too many things in my life to not have pondered the "station of women" or how we are conditioned and either accept or reject the rolls given us. I can tell you about childhood abuse, about making many bad choices after that including marrying an abusive man and staying with him 17 years. Three children later, all of us injured in one way or another, I tried to put my life together but ran into the arms of the first man who I judged safe and then I married him. Safe isn't always what its cracked up to be. I took a trip out of state taking my younger 2 children. My oldest child, my son, was going to college and stayed with his step father I was leaving (not his abusive father). I went to Austin, Texas and found it a great place. After a while I was offered a job managing some apartments there and took it. Since my apartment was the office it made it possible to stay home with my kids and continue my home schooling them at the same time I worked. I will continue my story after you get to see some links I found. So in case my personal story was boring you can now escape. Here are some links to sites that I think give you a variety of topics to investigate. Just make sure you check out the Feminist Mom's Web Ring too, below. Those are probably even better than these links, but these give you a variety.

	The New Homemaker Subtitled "Resources for the Domestic Renaissance," this site targets stay-at-home spouses who may care for children, elderly family members, or both. Ten subject areas cover everything a homemaker needs to know, from cleaning to community involvement to support.
	Stalking Want to find out the stalking laws in your state? This and much more, which includes issues of safety that could be extremely helpful.
	Atlantic Reproductive Health Center They state that "properly informed, you can become an active participant in your healthcare and make better choices." Their goal is "to provide you with accurate information in areas of women's health including infertility, endometriosis, contraception, sexually transmitted disease, menopause, stress management and PMS."
	Baby Place Baby Place is great and has lots of resources! Here are a few... Newsgroups, Frequently Asked Questions about various topics related to Pregnancy and Birth and much more!
	Voice of Women "In these pages women are telling their stories, discussing real issues, and sharing hard won wisdom"
	Cybergirl They have lots of information here. For instance, they have a weekly theme like Cancer Awareness or less serious ones like Web Withdrawal, or My Life Without a Computer which includes a survey you can take part in. There is also the Book of the Week reviews and travel talk.
	Women & Minorities in Science & Engineering Just as you may imagine, this site lists links in these subject areas. It has newer links at the top.
	Lesbian Organization This site divides links up into 3 groups. Politics and Activism Arts and Culture Other Links of Interest
	Planet Out I like the way this site is laid out. At first you will find 3 special links which are "PERSON OF THE DAY SITE OF THE DAY ALSO IN PLANETOUT " Then you will find... "Adventure awaits at The Industrial Palace. Stepping Out: Links to coming out stories on the Web. NewsPlanet: Daily Lesbian and Gay News"
	Iglou's Profile Pages To tell you the truth, I haven't investigated this further than their home page. I include it because it may interest someone who is looking for an online friend or lover. Be careful, remember to go slowly. People might not be exactly as they present themselves. (That is for my son if he is reading this!)

As promised, here is the "rest of the story."

My moving out of state was the best thing I ever did and Austin, TX. was an excellent choice. I found the inner me that was afraid to come out before. I made lots of friends, good friends. I started dating again but this time felt no need to hurry and find a husband. In fact I surprised myself by not even thinking I needed a man! When I eventually started dating I knew I didn't need a guy to hold me up and I wasn't afraid of offending an ego if I didn't act subservient.

Wow, what a new thought! I could just date for fun, in fact, I didn't even need to date at all! (Actually subservience wasn't a problem in my preceding marriage there were other issues that broke up that marriage.) In Austin I met so many great people, both men and women, & these great people actually liked and admired me, which was different for me. Maybe the fact that I finally admired and liked myself had something to do with it.

I am going on & on here, but the point is I no longer had the feeling that I wasn't good enough if I wasn't with a man.

That's another long story, but I changed my job, getting a better one, and I eventually got remarried. I am leaving out a lot (I can be merciful) but my life has given me a lot of wonderful "learning opportunities" otherwise known as painful situations that I had to survive or else fall apart. (Update: That marriage didn't turn out so well, but I am surviving anyway.)

I made another web page where I discuss my life more. I also have made lots of photo pages.

I hope you have enjoyed your visit here and found some helpful links, and that you are tempted to go on to my other web pages.

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