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I got married right out of high school at the age of 18. I needed a way out, a person to escape with, and time to digest my childhood. Three years later the marriage was over and I was the captain of a sinking ship, my life. Alcohol was my friend everyday of the week, many of those days to a pathetic excess. Many times I would go to work tired, sleepy, and with a hangover. I was a new computer programmer and shared a cubicle with a man who had children my own age. I'm sure he didn't approve of my behavior and he wanted better things for me because we had become friends. I can't recall that he ever criticized me or made me feel bad. He would always rub my shoulder and say, "You're my horse, if you never win a race". Not too many races were being won but he always stuck by me, encouraging me, caring for me. I eventually hit rock bottom.
I met my future wife and fell for her knowing that it would be her or nothing. Within four months after our first date, we were married. During this time, I knew a needed something more, God. The convicting power of God was so strong and painful that I knew it was not of myself. Two weeks after our marriage while driving my car on the interstate, God saved me, a person without a home.
That was eleven years ago. He has never failed me. He's always been with me. He has cared for me when I haven't cared. He has loved me when I didn't love. Many people believe they can lose God's love. How sad that they live their lives not knowing their destiny. That they do not know the full meaning of Jesus's sacrifice and how it covers all sin but the sin of unbelief. Preceding that instant when I was saved, I had believed in God, I had believed Jesus was the Son of God, I had repented of my sins, and I had accepted God; all of these with the heart and mind. None of these things were good enough. Then in that moment God accepted me, God saved me, He had the final decision - not me. At that instant He promised me that I was His and nothing could separate us. He made my spirit fresh and left my body weak. My promises, oaths, beliefs, feelings, philosophies, friends, hopes, dreams my come and go; but God's promises are eternal. Since that moment all things have been possible. All because at that moment God said to me "You're my horse, if you never win a race".
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