THERE'S A SPECIAL ANGEL
 
 
There's a special angel in Heaven
that is a part of me.
It is not where I want her
but where God wants her to be .
 
She was here but just a moment
like a night time shooting star.
and though she is in Heaven
she isn't very far.
 
She touched the hearts of many
like only an angel can do.
I would have held her every minute
if the end I only knew.
 
So I send this special message
to the heaven up above.
Please take care of my angel
and send her all my love.

FOREVER CHANGED
 
Can you see the change in me?  It may not be so obvious to you.  I participate in family activities.  I attend family reunions.  I help plan holiday meals.  You tell me you're glad to see that I don't cry as much anymore.  But I do cry!  When everyone has gone-when it's safe-the tears fall.  I cry in privacy so my family won't worry.  I cry until I am exhausted and can finally sleep.
 
You tell me you admire my strength and my positive attitude.  But I am not strong.  I feel that I have lost control, and I panic when I think about tommorrow...next week...or next year.  I go about the routine of my job.
I complete my assigned tasks.  I drink coffee and smile.
You tell me you are glad to see I am getting " over " the death of my daughter .  But I'm not getting over it.  If I were getting "over" it, I would be the same as before my daughter died.  I will NEVER be the same.
At times I think I am beginning to heal, but the pain of losing someone I love so much has left a permenant scar on my heart.
 
I visit my neighbors.  You tell me you are glad to see I am holding up so well.  But I'm not holding up well.  Sometimes I want to lock the door and hide from the world.  I spend time
with my friends.  I appear calm and collected.  I smile when appropriate.  You tell me it's good to see me back to my "old self" .  But I'll never be back to my "old self".
 
Death and grief have touched my life, and I am FOREVER CHANGED.

WHEN AN ANGEL GOES TO HEAVEN 
 
When an angel goes to Heaven
God stands with open arms
to cradle and to comfort her
to keep her safe from harm.
 
When an angel goes to Heaven
precious memories are left behind.
Of innocence, warmth and that special smile
forever in your mind.
 
When an angel goes to Heaven
she tells of wonderful times.
How Mommy, Daddy, Sister and family
were loving and so very kind.
 
When an angel goes to Heaven
she misses your gentle touch
She asks God to be sure to tell you
she loves you very much.
 
When an angel goes to Heaven
she asks even one more request
that God will comfort those she loved
and to know shes with the best.
 
When an angel goes to Heaven
a part of you goes too.
Knowing you will be joined with her again
when your journey here is through.
 
by Daliah McBride

       JESSIE
 
No longer a reason to waken.
Nothing to make rising worthwhile.
Gone is the light, the warmth
of Jessie's morning smile.
 
Sunshine always filled the room,
whether skies were gray or blue.
The brightness came from Jessie's smile-
Her eyes and laughter, too.
 
Jessie with the morning smile
of love upon your face-
Each wakening was a precious gift-
To have you one more day.
 
I wish that it were yesterday;
Today came much too soon.
If it could be yesterday,
I would still have you.
 
by Carole Hughes
TCF,Tulsa, OK

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