Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn't peeling well.

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Spell!
Spell who?
OK! W-H-O!

When do you go on red and stop on green?
When you're eating watermelon!

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Lettuce!
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, we're hungry!

Why doesn't a vampire have any friends?
Because he is too much of a pain in the neck.

I wish I was a dog
and you were a flower
I would lift my leg
and give you a shower

Why did the policeman run across the baseball field?
A player had stolen second base!

What lies in front of you but you can't see it?
The future!

Customer: Waiter, there's a small insect in my soup!
Waiter: Sorry sir, I'll get you a larger one!

"Darling you have the face of a saint." Said the husband to his wife
"Thank you darling, which saint.?" Asked the wife
"A Saint Bernard." Replied the husband.

Why was the police office under the blanket?
Because he was an undercover cop!

How long can you live with out a brain?
I don't know, how long have you been living?

What question can you ask me over and over but the answer is never the same?
What time is it?!

What do you call a fairy who never takes a bath?
Stinkerbell!

How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of the car?
Put him in the front seat!

What never asks questions but gets a lot of answers anyway?
The doorbell!

Why is 6 afaid of 7?
Because 7 8 9!

The school bell rang just as little Johnny started eating a Popsicle,
and since he didn't want to waste it, he stuck it in his pants pocket.
In the classroom the teacher asked Katie what they called people
who lived at the North Pole. She said, "Eskimos."
Then teacher asked Joey what they called people who live in Mexico.
He said, "Mexicans."
The teacher asked Johnny what they called people who live in Europe,
and Johnny said, "I don't know."
Then super-smart little Caroline behind Johnny said, "European."
Little Johnny's face turned red and he screamed , "I AM NOT!
My Popsicle is melting!"



Last Updated on May 19, 2001