Hope to Tell pages

Recently, I spoke with a representative for the Indiana Bureau of Family Protection and Preservation. During our discussion I brought up the Federal Title IV-E subsidies for "Special Needs" children. For those unfamiliar with this, it is a funding thru the Federal and State governments to help with financial resources to assist families with special needs children. The law in and of itself is a good law that enables treatments to be continued by families that otherwise could not afford the long term costs. However, under both the Federal and State guidelines special needs children that were adopted OUTSIDE a licensed adoption agency or thru your state welfare system are not included.......This is not only for RAD children, If you engaged in a private adoption and at birth you found that the child had a condition that would render him to a wheelchair for life, or was born with any number of conditions that would require long term medical, psycological, physical therapy...that child would not meet the requirements for "special needs" subsidies under the Title IV-E....now they may meet some other assistance program, But the Title IV-E is the big fish that gets away.

This is our current state of affairs with our RAD Daughter. Outside the realm of help so desperately needed. Due to a loophole in the law many children and families across our nation are suffering because of it. Because of this loophole and the cost of treatments, families are forced into a finaicial burden to the point of having to decide on whether to treat there child or not.

The time has come for that "wind of change" to blow. Time for those who serve us in the House and Senate to be asked to put there political agenda's aside and to do the right thing. Include children with special needs that are adopted ourside the welfare system and adoption agencies in the Title IV-E subsidies program. A change now will not help our daughter and we are resigned to the fact that "WE" are the only ones that will help her.....but ammending this law will help loving families in the future and not penalize then for not going thru an agency or welfare. I encourage you to assist us in our efforts to ammend this law by sending a quick email to your US Congressman or Senator asking that they help us in the amending of this law."US HOUSE OF REPRESENATIVES" and "US SENATE" hopefully the time for change is now!

ANGELS WITH BROKEN WINGS

A loving mother held her angry, defiant child trying desperately to calm him.

She knew that when her son was very young and innocent, he had been emotionally wounded and he knew not from whence the anger came.

Eventually the little boy fell asleep in his mother's weary arms, not from peacefulness but from exhaustion.

As she cradled her sleeping son she silently beseeched God's help in knowing why he would not respond to the love and guidance she had continuously bestowed upon him.

When she glanced in the mirror she saw, through her tears, a reflection of herself and her child. Staring at the reflected images, she suddenly saw beautiful strong angel wings materializing upon her. In her son's reflection she also saw angel wings emerging, but his appeared to be fragile, jagged, and broken.

Distressed, this loving mother cried out "God, why would you give me strong, healthy wings when my precious baby's wings are broken?"

And then God gently spoke to her "Your wings are strong today because of the great love and commitment you have given OUR child. Now look carefully at your son's wings and you will see that because of you, his wings are not broken.....they are mending."

Lawrence B. Lennon, PH.D. copyright May 1994

.. .... it is our hope that the information has been helpful to those who have children with RAD and informative and enlightening to others. We would like to thanks Carol and Chuck for their continued support and friendship, the folks at the Attchment Disorder Support Group, for your insight and helpfulness..thanks Linda......best wishes & God Bless.....Paul & Jami

Legal action is currently underway to have our daughter established as "special needs" this will enable us to file for Aid to Families of Dependant Children or SSI under the American Disablities Act. Did you know that you can put into your adoption petition that any disorders would be covered by the state! If you adoption is not final...check with your attorney....for Information on government assistance call the North American Counsil on Adoptable children @ 1-800-470-6665 ask for the information on the Federal Title IV-E program and Public Law 96-272:The Adoption Assistance and Child Welfare Act of 1980. Obviously if your RAD child was diagnosed after the adoption was final then you will have to go back to court and show them that the disorder was in place prior to adoption. Good Luck.

Miracles do happen......after a year of battles with the Indiana Division of Family and Children, specifically the County in which we live, we have finally WON our case. By establishing that the County did not inform us of the availablility of the adoption subsidies, they failed to meet there requirements as an agent of the state. Thus are child is able to get much needed assistance for treatments. Funny how things happen when you least expect it! Reminds me that We pray for things from GOD in our time......but GOD answers our prays in HIS time........

Chuck and Carol....our dear friends in cyberspace, one day we will meet.....and laugh!

Dr. Jodi Hirst......our weekly angel who works so hard at healing the wings of our wounded angel.

CWeb.....my partner at the PD...you will never know how many days you made my life so much easier....I can never repay you.

Our friends at ADSG....your words are precious and your insight priceless.......

Brian....who at age ten has seen more than any that age should see.....may your find peace and friendship with your sister.

and finally to our Chelsea....our only wish is that the demons that haunt you become overwhelmed by love and allow you to expirence life knowing that love is not painful......mom and dad.

And to those who visit our site on purpose or by accident, may your family be blessed and your prayers for the children be heard....Paul & Jami

........with each turning of the calender we are filled with hope that each new day will bring with it improvements in our lives. The life we had long ago will never return.......the peace and tranquility that filled our home has vanished and has been replaced with chaos, dispair, and exhaustion. Will our child improve.....Yes I think she will! I think that with each passing day we are slowly.......remolding a child. To stop and think about that is AWESOME! We have been granted by GOD the responsibility of rebuilding a broken spirit.....no other success I can think of can measure in importance.

As our story continues.....many things have changed since this page was updated. Life continues to be a struggle. Our Daughter has been diagnosed as bipolar as well. So much "baggage" for such a small traveler. As our family grows and understands more, we find it easy to just say "no"...no to all the hassles of everyday life....No to our friends who cannot understand what it's all about...NO to the system ...who chooses to forget these young children....because it is not popular and will not get votes....the path to say "no" is enormous and the list that says "YES" has very few easy trails. Which path will we all take??? Which Path will you choose? Each parent of a child afflicted with attachment disorder will ask this question over and over. The mountain that we climb is mightly and the way is rocky, but I have to believe that the view from the summit is awesome..........Our journey continues in search of the "happily ever after".....

If you have a "Hope To Tell" story that you would like to share, please email us at bwilliams@iquest.net