In Loving Memory of Our Angel

30 November1992-20 December 1992

She was born the 30th of November 1992. Our second child we were the happiest people in the world. We had the perfect nuclear family. A perfect son and then our beautiful daughter. Only one problem GOD decided that he had other plans for her.

                               

Everything was going great. At the time we knew nothing was wrong but we decided to have Christmas on DEC 13th this year. During our two weeks with ours daughter she was perfect. The lord couldn't have provided us with anymore beautiful creature than this one. We thought things were fine except the fact she was having difficulty breathing while eating her bottle. So during her two week appointment we brought this to the attention of her doctor, upon this information he began to check for pulses in her appendices. The ones in her legs were very faint. The next day we were sent to a supposed specialist 4 hours away. When we arrived at Landstul Army Medical Center in Germany, the doctor gave us the most horrifying news that our daughter had a coarctation of the aorta, which is a blocked and under developed aorta. The doctor said he wanted to admit her right away. I knew as a mother that would be the last time I ever hold my baby girl. I didn't want to take her up to the NICU because I just knew I wouldn't be able to hear her cry anymore or hold her anymore or just be there for her like a mother is supposed to be. After two hours of walking the hospital floors I decided to take Ashley up to the NICU. When she was taken to her incubator they stuck her with so many needles, she had needles in her head, in her feet and in her little arms and legs. That was the last cry I ever heard from Ashley is when they were sticking with all those needles. They put Ashley in a light sedation the doctor said they needed to do that to open the aorta a little but he said, that the medicine was no treatment that she needed open heart surgery. Before they could do the surgery the doctor said he needed to see exactly how big the blockage was and exactly where the location was, so therefore he needed to do a catherization. That was where everything went wrong with Ashley. The doctor told us that there were risks in having this procedure done for instance, allergic reaction to the dye, seizures, heart attack, etc. Well my husband and I told the doctor about previous allergic reactions in our families from the dye, but they took no precautions what so ever. Everything the doctor said could go wrong went wrong with Ashley. During the catherization she had an allergic reaction which caused her to have a seizure and from the seizure she had brain damage, and another valve became blocked which made her go into cardiac arrest. She did die at this time which they resuscitated her and brought her back to us. During the procedure she went into a coma. After the surgery the doctor had to make a decision if he wanted to send her to a German hospital or med-evac her back to the states on a cold and loud air force plane. After three days they sent us back to the states to Walter Reed Army Medical Center which is in Washington D.C. We arrived there around 1:00 a.m. My dad and my husbands parents were waiting there for us to take us home and get some rest. Finally the next day had arrived and it was the worse day of my life. I had to say goodbye to my little angel. When we first arrived at Walter Reed the next day the doctor came and told us flat out that our daughter doesn't have a very good chance at all. The doctor said she believed Ashley had an infection going all through her body and that she suffered a lot of brain damage and heart damage. The last thing they were worried about was her kidneys failing and they were. So my husband and I decided to have her christened and given her last rights, so we had the hospital send for a priest. After the christening and last rights the doctor wanted another iv in Ashley to start another antibiotic and that's when every thing really went wrong. The doctor could not get a good vein on Ashley any where accept for her head and neck area. When she tilted the incubator back and put the needle into Ashley's neck, Ashley's heartbeat and blood pressure dropped quickly. The doctor at the time started resuscitation and brought back a low heartbeat. The doctor came out to us and said your daughter is not going to make it, we asked about how long and she said not even an hour. Then she made us make the hardest decision ever, we had to decide to either let her die on those machine or take her off and let her die in my arms. We decided our angel had been through to much and it was time to let her go back to God. We felt she had come down from God and did her job that he wanted her to do. The doctor then took her off the machine and handed my beautiful daughter to me. It was the hardest thing for me but I was so glad that my husband and I held her when she first came into this world and when she left this world. When we left the hospital the song "I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU" by Whitney Houston came on and it was like some of the verses in that song our angel was singing to us. We buried Ashley on December 24,1992 and I really can't remember much about it accept I really didn't want to leave her casket. My husband had to grab me by my hand and pull me away. It was really cold and rainy it seemed like the longest drive to the cemetery even though it's only about 7 miles away. I just didn't want my baby girl being buried I wanted to wake-up and everything be a dream. I just remembered the happiness that she brought to my husband and I the day she was born. We sat in the delivery room with tears of joy running down our faces.

To You Our Angel

To our loving angel Ashley. Daddy and I miss you so much and we are so glad that you are in a safe place with God. I know that you watch over us all because I can feel it in my heart. We are all looking forward to the day when you come down from heaven as one of Gods angels to take us home with you. We love you very much Ashley and you will always be with us in our thoughts, prayers, and memories.

Love,

Mommy and Daddy