Think Yer A Smart Guy, Huh?

Well I guess ya'll think ya know somethin' about computers or else ya wouldn't be lookin' in here. I went out and bought me one of them fancy computer books what they sells at the bookstore in town, and I couldn't make no sense outta that stuff at all. So I did what any semi-intelligent person would do under those circumstances. I went out and asked a bunch of farmers what they thought all of them big words meant.

BACKUP
This is whatcha better do real fast if ya open the outhouse door and find a skunk.
BAR CODE
Them's the fightin' rules down at the local waterin' hole.
BUG
Them's the little critters what gits on ya and makes ya all itchy where they's been chewin' on ya.
BYTE
Whatcher coon dog duz ta stranger's butts.
CACHE
Whatcha need more of when it's time fer a new tractor.
CHIP
Big stinky brown thangs whatcher cows leave in the pasture.
TERMINAL
Where ya drops yer wife off so's she can take the train to visit her Aunt Millie.
CRASH
What happens if'n ya don't keep the brakes on yer tractor workin'.
DIGITAL
The way ya counts on yer fingers when yer tryin' ta cipher out if ya got enuff money fer a new tractor.
DISKETTE
Whatcha has ta do to yer field afore ya can plant yer corn.
FAX
Whatcha never gives to the man from the guvment.
HACKER
Grandpa Bill after rollin' Velvet fer the last 56 years.
INTERNET
Where yer wife puts her hair afore she goes ta work down at the diner.
KEYBOARD
Where ya hangs the keys fer the combine.
MACINTOSH
Them little red thangs what grows on yer apple trees.
MEGAHERTZ
How yer head feels after ya git inta Uncle Willie's moonshine.
MODEM
Whatcha done ta the weeds in the pasture when they got too tall.
MOUSE PAD
That little hole in the wall behind yer wife's cook stove.
NETWORK
Scoopin' up that big 'ol catfish afore it breaks yer fishin' line.
ONLINE
Where ya better stay when the sheriff's deputy's checkin' ta see if ya been in Uncle Willie's shine agin.
ROM
Where the Pope lives.
SCREEN
What keeps the skeeters from comin' in yer winders in the summertime.
SERIAL PORT
Fancy wine whatcher wife's city-fied cuzzins drinks at breakfast time.
SUPERCONDUCTOR
The guy what takes yer wife's ticket down at the train station.
SCSI
The way yer long-johns git ta smellin' when yer wife's been at Aunt Millie's fer a whole week.
HARD DRIVE
From the tavern ta yer house if'n ya's had too many beers.
SOFTWARE
Whatcher wife puts on afore she goes ta bed.
MONITOR
Whatcha better do when the neighbor boy's a courtin' yer daughter.
POWER SUPPLY
The old hit'n'miss engine what pumps yer water outta the ground.
BROWSER
Them big red'n'white cows what's out in yer field.
PROGRAM
One a them fancy deals the man from the guvment's always pushin' on ya.
PRINTER
The man in town what makes all the auction flyers that's a hangin' on the wall at the ag exchange.
CRACKER
Crunchy lil' wafers whatcha dips in yer soup.
CMOS
Whatcha do when Uncle Keith dunks ya in the frog pond.
SCANNER
What the boys like to do during girls gym class.
OS
Where Dorothy and Toto went in da tornader.
SPREADSHEET
Whatcha hope yer daughter's boyfriend ain't got in the truck of his car.
FLOPPY DISK
Whatcha git in yer back from haulin' too much hay.
HARD DISK
Spring plowed sod ground.
UPS
Tha big ol' brown truck what brings Aunt Millie's fruitcake to ya at Christmas time.
WEB SITE
What da spiders build in tha corners of yer ol' lady's kitchen.

Think yer smarter'n me? Tell me about it!


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