Welcome
The internet is a great place for those who have a hearing loss. Here we can chat with many people, and not worry about missing any of the conversation. We do not have to worry about someone turning away so we cannot see their faces. We do not have to worry about someone having a strong accent. We do not have to wonder about who to watch when more than one person is talking at the same time. We do not have to worry about background noise causing a problem.
My hearing is imperfect,
But you can talk to me.
But you must make sure that you are turned,
So your face and lips I see.
I cannot hear a murmur,
Or a whisper in my ear.
And when you completely shut me out,
I shed a little tear.
I try my best to hear you.
I do every thing I can.
But my best is often not enough,
For me to understand.
So when you're talking to me,
Show a little patience, please.
Once you see how I do hear,
We'll both soon be at ease.
by CH (cawamn)
The following was written by Dorene, a fellow SWC member
I'm Sorry
“I’m sorry” we let ourselves say
Much too often, it seems, every day.
As we struggle to hear,
It’s those “looks” that we fear,
So we fake it by saying “okay”.
“I’m sorry, would you please repeat?”
(We just hate to admit our defeat.)
We MUST hear their tale,
But again, our ears fail,
It’s a fight that just cannot be beat.
“I’m sorry, please face me, whenever you speak”.
“Your lips, I can read, if you’ll give me a peek.”
While their heads bob around,
And their hands should be bound,
We’re the ones made to feel like a freak.
“I’m sorry…..Didn’t hear you”, as we move from their way,
And a look of disgust they’ll most often display.
While our faces turn red,
And we wish we were dead,
Or at least at the end of this day.
“I told you”, they say, when we get confused.
And sometimes they’ll even be greatly amused.
“I’m sorry”, we say, having made that mistake.
Though we don’t see the humor
Our deafness can make.
The phone, oh my gosh!…Should we be bold?
If the volume’s turned up…..It will work, we’re told.
But they talk so darn fast
Then “I’m SORRY!”, we blast
And the message seems never to unfold.
“I’m Sorry”, let’s try and stop saying.
Pick our heads up, there is no delaying!
Though our ears do not work
We’ll just let them all lurk,
As for patience, we’ll have to keep praying.
At age 4, I contacted measles and suffered nerve damage, which took away my normal hearing. My parents did not discover this hearing loss until I started school, as I could still hear most of what was spoken. My early teachers must have discovered this loss when I did not follow all their rules, claiming I didn't hear them. (Who listens to boring rules anyhow?) I was tested and the loss was discovered. Thereafter, I had to sit in front of the teacher's desk all the time, so they could make sure I heard them. The day I started classes at the university, was the first time I did not sit in the first or second rows in a classroom. I did not tell any of my instructors either, not wanting to be treated any different. No instructor found out until I was a Junior and she happened to meet my Mom. She was surprised, but I had always been able to fake it. I made it, and graduated with a BS in education. No, I did not graduate with honors, but that was due to the fact that I was lazy and also partied too much.
We moved a lot until I was 11 yrs old. Thus, I attended six different schools before reaching 7th grade. When I was in the 8th grade, my parents decided to buy me a hearing aid. I have worn one ever since. Now I cannot hear anything without it. In all these schools I was the only kid with a hearing loss. There were no accommodations back in those days. To my friends, it didn't matter that I couldn't always hear them, they accepted me as I was, in fact the whole school did. I'm very fortunate in that respect.
To parents, teachers and friends who have contact with hearing impaired children, I would like to offer the following advice.
To parents: Do not wait until the first day of school to talk to your child's teacher about their hearing. It is embarrassing for the child to have to stand in front of all the other kids, while her Mom is explaining her hearing.
To teachers: Don't treat that child any different than the others. We want to belong, not stand out.
To friends: Accept them as they are. Do not play the game "rumor". (I hated that game. It was the only one I could not play with everyone.)
Many hard of hearing people cannot understand words on a regular telephone and must use a TTY/VCO or TDD phone. I will try and explain how this type of phone works, as there are a lot of people who hang up when they hear the words "this is a relay call".
When I want to make a call. I dial an 800 number. This number is found in the front of most phone books. This number is to a relay person. When they answer, I give them the number that I am calling. On my TTY/VCO phone, there is a little space. The relay person types to me everything that is said, which I read in this little space. I don't type back, but can use my voice. Anyway, she dials the number and when the other party picks up the phone, she will explain that it's a relay call and if necessary how it works. Then she types all responses from that person to me. I never hear the other person's voice, but they will hear me. When I am through saying something, I say GoAhead. Then the other party can talk. The relay also types GA when the other party is finished. That's my signal to start talking again.
It is kind of like a triangle. I call the relay, relay dials the number I want, their messages come to me via the relay, and I talk directly to them. The best thing about this phone, is that I can "hear" every word and do not have to try and guess what the other party is saying, or ask for repeats.
Many people who are hard of hearing, depend on lip reading.
Face them when speaking, let them see your lips.
Don't talk with something like a toothpick in your mouth
Don't put your hand over your mouth.
Don't mumble
Realize that it is hard to see lips behind a beard or a mustache and be prepared to repeat.
If you are asked to repeat, don't shout or raise your voice extremely loud. Most of the time, we did not understand the word or words spoken. Using a different word with the same meaning also helps.
Speak clearly and slowly, or at least not extremely fast.
Please don't say, "Oh never mind", that hurts us.
Don't try to carry on a long conversation with us when we are driving a vehicle. We can't read lips and see the road at the same time.
Remember, we are people like you. We just cannot hear as well.
The best group to meet others with a hearing disability is the SayWhatClub. To find out how to join, click here
If you suffer from any type of hearing loss and have tips you would like to see added here please email me
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since Dec.'98