Robert and Joel’s
"Stupid, but Ballsy" Tour ’98
Below you will find some highlights of our trip to Washington, D.C. For one week my bro’ and I decided to attack the east coast and cause as much trouble as was humanly possible. This is the first incarnation of this page (and on a strict deadline,) so more will be added as time allows.
Get the heck out if you don’t know who this is.
Some of the great people we met:
At Lulu’s, the coolest bar around:
Roslyn: She is a manager at Lulu’s on "M" street. This girl is the best damned bartender in her age group.
J We totally terrorized this lady, and she was always nice. You were truly the first attractive woman we didn’t try to pick up on in Washington!!! (Yes, that’s a good thing)
Roslyn and Tawanna "On Duty" at Lulu’s
Tawanna: Pictured above, She took great care of us when Ros and brad weren’t around. Damn, girl, you are too quiet.
Brad: This guy is another bartender at our favorite drinkin’ spot in D.C., but he managed to duck out of the picture. This guy was making sure we were in good shape whether he was on the clock or not. It seemed like Brad had to wade through all of the women around him.
Sylvia: This beautiful lady is the shot girl over at lulu’s. Unfortunately, she moved too damned fast for me to shoot a picture of her with the camera I could get into the bar. Her job is to make sure everyone ends up on the floor.
Andrea: Well, damn.
Il Radicchio was our favorite place for food and "other endeavors"
Dawn: (pronounced dwan, she’s from New Jersey) This lovely lady was kind enough to show us around Washington so we could see the sights at night. Thanks to dawn for her beautiful smile, and excellent service. (Try not to drop anything.)
J )Jessica: You did a great job for being new at the restaurant, but where the hell is my pasta? Thanks for walking us all over the place, showing us the waterfront, and especially showing us how to get back! I managed to keep my damned mouth shut while I was there, but you really have great eyes, darlin’.
Joel, Dawn, Jessica, and Robert. (Do you ladies even remember taking this picture?)
To all of the other "World Class Monuments": Thanks for being there. It was a hell of a photo op, just slow down a little when we’re using the crappy camera!
Some of the music we enjoyed while in Washington:
Marcy Playground – "Sex and Candy"
Smash Mouth – "Walkin' on the Sun, Why Can't We Be Friends"
ZZ Top – "Sharp Dressed Man, Pearl Necklace, Legs"
Scorpions – (jesus) All of it.
INXS – miscellaneous songs from their greatest hits
U2 – "With or Without You, Bullet the Blue Sky, I still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, In God’s Country, etc"
Great White – (You knew it had to be in here) "Angel song, She Only, House of Broken Love"
Smithereens – "Blood and Roses, Girl Like You"
Words to live by:
"Jesus!!!"
"Ballsy, but stupid"
"That fuckin’ rocked!!!"
"It ain’t easy bein’ sleazy"
"I’m not one of the local attractions" (and I still think you should be)
"Dig it"
Endorsements:
For one reason or another we endorse the following companies or brands for their performance on our trip.
Heinekin Beer
Irish Mist
Montecino Cigars
Ashton Cabinet - The true victory dance!
Captain Black Pipe Tobacco
Pepsi Cola
El Radiccio Restaurant on Wisconsin in Georgetown
Lulu's New Orleans Cafe - With a new Cyber Cafe
Your Authors:
Robert and Joel
JOEL: well, what can I say about this trip, other than it rocked…and of coarse, "Jesus!". Tuesday night was, by far, the most…um…interesting night I had (and sorry about that phone call, beautiful). Roslyn, thanks for takin’ care of me as well as you did. Brad, thanks for giving us the chance to give roslyn hell. To the rest of lulu’s, robert says that everyone deserves a picture taken. Dawn, thanks for the night out for coffee, showing us the waterfront, and especially the walk over to see honest abe at night…it was great
J . Jessica, thanks for the service at the resturaunt, however I am still waiting on my drink… don’t sweat it you were wonderful. Georgetown tobacco, well, thanks. Beautiful, thanks for all of the late night phone calls. It was relaxing to know that I have a friend who cares, no matter how stupid and ballsy I get, and it was more relaxing yet when I knew that things were calm on the other end of the line. …and…last but not least…thanks to my brother robert for making this all happen. This trip was a total and complete success, but would not have happened if he hadn’t made it work, so thanks again, and I hope I can one day repay you with another….monumentous adventure.And of course, the cellar!
Thanks to the Sheraton City Center for letting us modify the room to our liking, giving us more than enough matches to light crap on fire, offering the great oportunity for target practice, and the great view of all of the monuments around D.C.. We couldn’t have laughed as hard without such great accommodations….and btw, no T&A on the tube when you need it.
ROBERT: Jesus. Well, I wrote a whole pile of this page, so I included most of my comments. To Georgetown Tobacco, watch the humidity level in your supposed humidifiers, the first batch of Montecinos was kind of dry. Thanks for the matches, too, they did great at lighting shit on fire that I didn’t wan’t to use the Zippo on. To dawn, you are wonderful and were very tolerant of our bullshit. Jessica: damn. You gave me insight to the ways in which the coasts are both alike and different, and you are a hell of a waitress when the place falls down around you. Roslyn, if I didn’t respect you so damned much, I would have hit on you. You are totally gorgeous (both inside and out) and you better call us some time. Brad, thanks for the Maker's and Coke, and you better send us a picture of you, Sylvia, and Andrea for the page. Dude, it sure looks like you are knee deep in (I'm sure you can figure it out). Joel, don’t drop the camera, but at least it was the cheap one. Hell, they don’t know it wasn’t broken when I got it. Thanks for goin’ out there with me, it would have sucked horribly to try this stuff alone. Now where are we going next?????? Hewlett packard, thanks for not stiffing me on all of the points. We had a blast on your promo money. Amex, F*** you. To the companies we endorsed: Thanks for hangin’ with us. We’ll never forget the medical and cosmetic harm you’ve caused us, but it was fucking worth it.