The Breakfast Club Quotes Page!
PAGE 2
Bender: Theres nothing to do when you're locked in a vacancy.
Andrew: Well, speak for yourself.
Bender: Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language.
Bender: Sporto, do you get along with your parents?
Andrew: Well, if I say yes I'm an idiot, right?
Bender: You're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, well then you're
a liar too.
Bender: Dork,
Brian: Yeah?
Bender: You are a parents wet dream, OK?
Brian: Well, thats the problem.
Bender: Look, I can see you getting all bunged up for them making you wear these kind of clothes.
But face it, you're a neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie. What would you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a better
citizen?
Andrew: Why do always have to insult everybody?
Bender: I'm being honest, asshole. I would expect you to know the difference.
Andrew: Yeah well he has a name.
Bender: Yeah?
Andrew: Yeah. Whats your name?
Brian: Brian.
Andrew: See?
Bender: My condolences.
Carl the Janitor: Brian, how ya doin'?
Bender: Your dad work here?
Bender: Uh, Carl?
Carl: What?
Bender: Can I ask you a question?
Carl: Sure.
Bender: How does one become a janitor?
Carl: You want to be a janitor?
Bender: No, I just want to know how one becomes a janitor because Andrew here is
very interested in persuing a career in the custodial arts.
Bender: Uh, Dick? Excuse me, Rich? Will milk be made available to us?
Bender: What are we having?
Brian: Just your normal everyday lunch.
Bender: Milk?
Brian: Soup.... Apple juice.
Bender: I can read. PB & J with the crusts cut off. Well Brian, this is a very nutricious lunch.
All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?
Brian: No, Mr. Johnson.
Andrew: All right, what about your family?
Bender: Oh mine? Its real easy. Stupid worthless no good goddamn free loadin' son of a bitch
retarded big mouth know it all asshole jerk! You forgot ugly lazy and disrespectful-
shut up bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie! What about you dad? Fuck you. No, dad, what about you? Fuck
you. No dad what about you?! Fuck you!
Brian: Is that for real?
Bender: Want to come over sometime?
Bender: Being bad feels pretty good, huh?
Vernon: What if your home, what if your family, what if your dope was on fire?
Bender: Impossible, sir. Its in Johnson's underwear.
Bender: A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle
on the table. Bartender says,
'I suppose you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says-- "OOHHHH Shiit!!"
((Ruckus))
Vernon: Jesus Christ Almighty!
Bender: Forgot my pencil.
The punchline confirmed!! Find it here, courtesy of PREMIERE Magazine.
Brian: Chicks cannot hold their smoke, thats what it is...
Alison: I don't have to run away and live in the street. I can run away and I can go to the ocean, to the country, to the mountains. I could go
to Isreal, Africa, Afghanistan.
Alison: I'll do anything sexual and I don't need a million dollars to do it either.
Claire: You're lying.
Alison: I already have. I've done just about everything there is except a few things that are illegal. I'm a nymphomaniac.
Claire: Lie.
Brian: Are your parents aware of this?
Alison: The only person I told was my shrink.
Andrew: And what did he do when you told him?
Alison: He nailed me.
Claire: Very nice.
Alison: I don't think that from a legal standpoint what he did could be construde as rape since I paid him.
Claire: He's an adult!
Alison: Yeah, and he's married.
Claire: Ugh! Do you have any idea how completely gross that is?
Alison: Well the forst few times-
Claire: First few times? You mean you did it more than once?
Alison: Sure.
Claire: Are you crazy?
Brian: Obviously she's crazy if she's screwing a shrink.
Alison: Have you ever done it?
Claire: I don't even have a psychiatrist.
Alison: Have you ever done it with a normal person?
Claire: Didn't we already cover this?
Bender: You didn't answer the question.
lison: Its kind of a double-edged sword, isn't it?
Claire: A what?
Alison: Well, if you say you haven't you're a prude. If you say y ou have, you're a slut. Its a trap. You want to but you can't and
when you do you wish you didn't, right?
Claire: Wrong.
Alison: Or are you a tease?
Andrew: She's a tease.
Claire: Why don't you just forget it.
Andrew: You're a tease and you know it. All girls are teases.
Bender: She's only a tease if what she does gets you hot.
Claire: I don't do anything.
Alison: Thats why you're a tease.
Claire: Look, I'm not going to discuss my private life with total strangers.
Alison: When you grow up, your heart dies.
Bender: Who cares.
Alison: I care.
The Breakfast Club: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out, is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basketcase, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club.
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