Movie Quotes (C)

*Cabin Boy

Nathanial Mayweather (Chris Elliot): Did I mention I have an incredible crush on you?
Trina: That's wonderful! I'm always flattered when a psychotic becomes smitten with me.

Nathanial: I just don't get it! She seems totally uninterested in me, despite my smothering obsessiveness!

Nathanial: You've been like the drunken abusive grandfather I never had.

Cable Guy, The

Chip Douglas (Jim Carrey): Dry land is not a myth. I've seen it. Kevin Costner. Waterworld. I don't know what the big fuss is about. I saw that movie nine times. It rules!

Wench (Janeane Garofalo): There are no utensils in medieval times, thus, there are no utensils AT Medieval Times. Would you like a refill on that Pepsi?

Caddyshack

Sandy: Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course.
Carl Spackler (Bill Murray): Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key.
Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers, rodents!
Carl Spackler: We can do that. We don't even need a reason.

Carl Spackler: This is my own hybrid. It's a mix between Kentucky Bluegrass and Northern California sensimila. The great thing about this is you can play 36 holes on it and then get smoked to the bejeesus with it.

Carl Spackler: So I jumped ship in Hong Kong, make my way over to Tibet and I get on a course in the Himilayas as a looper. You know, a jock, a caddy. So I tell 'em I'm a projock and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama himself! Twelfth son of the Lama, the flowing robes, bald...striking. So we get up on the first tee, he hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - into a ten thousand foot crevasse right at the base of this glacier. And he says, "Gunga Galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga." So we get up on 18 and he's gonna stiff me, and I say, "Hey! Lama! How 'bout, you know, a little something for the effort?" And he says, "There won't be any money here... but on your death bed,you will receive total consciousness." So I got that going for me, which is nice.

Carl Spackler: This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion.

*Candyman

Candyman: They will say that I have shed innocent blood. What's blood for, if not for shedding?

Can't Buy Me Love

Cindy's Poem:...someday my wish is for him to hold me in his arms, in a sea of deep blue, together at last, together us two.

Patty (Darcy DeMoss): He went from totally geek - to totally sheek!

Ronny Miller's friends: It's the African Ant-Eater Ritual!!!!

Ronald (Patrick Dempsey): What's his name, Biff?
Cindy (Amanda Peterson): Don't give me that! His name happens to be...Brent.

Cindy: Iris? She has given more rides than Greyhound!

Ronald: You can do anything you want, anything you put your heart and mind into!

Cindy: Whatever happens to your popularity - stay yourself, don't change to please others.

Quint (Cort McCowen): Quinton is in. Let the fun begin.

Chucky (Seth Green): Who could beat a night of cards, chips, dips and dorks?

Ronald: You ignored the Donald Miller geek for seventeen years, now you want to ride the Ronnie Miller express!

Big John (Eric Bruskotter): Think you can handle a brew?
Ronald: Sure, got an A&W?
Big John: No, you're a funny guy, though.

Quint: For instance, I travel with my own wine...You never know what quality you could encounter at a soiree.
Fran (Ami Dolenz): Very classy.
Quint: I'm into class...It's my new thing.

Ronald: Here is the primate example. You raise a doll-chopping homicidal maniac, and what do you do every time you see him? You give him money. Great.

Chucky: You nuked my brother.
Cindy: Chucky Miller, right? I see he has resorted to sending his messenger boy.
Chucky: I see no boy here.

*Can't Hardly Wait

Kenny Fisher (Seth Green): Yo, I gotta have sex tonight!

Kenny Fisher: Why y'all gotta waste my flava? Damn!

Preston (Ethan Embry): Look, I don't know about you, but I really believe that there's one person out there for everybody.

Angel (Jenna Elfman): There is fate but it only takes you so far, because once you're there it's up to you to make it happen.

*Cape Fear

Danni (Juliette Lewis): My reminiscense: I always thought that for such a lovely river the name was mystifying, Cape Fear. When the only thing to fear on those enchanted summer nights was that the magic would end and real life would come crashing in.

[Max Cady bares his heavily tattooed body]
Lieutenant Elgart: I don't know whether to look at him or read him.

Max Cady: Every man carries a circle of hell around his head like a halo, your daddy too. Every man...every man has to go through hell to reach his paradise.

Max Cady: I ain't no white trash piece of shit. I'm better than you all. I can outlearn you, I can outread you, I can outthink you, and I can outphilosophize you and I'm gonna outlast you.

Max Cady: I am like God, and God like me. I am as large as God, He is as small as I. He cannot above me, nor I beneath Him be. Selatius, 17th Century.

Carlito's Way

David Kleinfeld: Fuck you and your self-righteous code of the goddamn streets. Did it pull you out of a 30 year stint in only 5 years? No, it didn't, I did. Did it get you acquitted 4 fucking times? No, it didn't, I did, so fuck you, fuck the streets, your whole goddamn world is this big, and there's only one rule, you save your own ass!

Carlito: I'm rejuvenated, rehabilited, reassimilated, and it didn't take no 15 years like your honor said!

Carlito: You think you're like me? You ain't like me motherfucker! I've been with made people, connected people! Who've you been with? Chain snatching, jive talking motherfuckers! Why don't you get out of here and go snatch a purse!

Carlito: You think you're big time? You gonna die big time!
 

*Casino

Sam "Ace" Rothstein (Robert DeNiro): When you love someone, you've gotta trust them. There's no other way. You've got to give them the key to everything that's yours. Otherwise, what's the point? And for a while, I believed that's the kind of love I had.

Sam "Ace" Rothstein: For guys like me, Las Vegas washes away your sins. It's like a morality car wash.

Sam "Ace" Rothstein: No matter how big a guy might be, Nicky would take him on. You beat Nicky with fists, he comes back with a bat. You beat him with a knife, he comes back with a gun. And if you beat him with a gun, you better kill him because he'll keep coming back and back until one of you is dead.

Sam "Ace" Rothstein: In the casino, the cardinal rule is to keep them playing and keep them coming back. The longer they play, the more they lose, in the end we get it all.

Sam "Ace" Rothstein: Back home they would've put me in jail for what I'm doing but out here, they're givin' me awards.

Nicky Santoro (Joe Pesci): Listen to me Anthony. I got your head in a fuckin' vise. I'll squash your fuckin' head like a grapefruit if you don't give me a name.

Nicky Santoro: If you don't have my money for me, I'll crack your fucking head wide open in front of everyone in the bank. And just about the time I get out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I'll split your fucking head open again! 'Cause I'm fucking stupid! I don't give a fuck about jail! That's my business. That's what I do.

Nicky Santoro: When it looked like they could get twenty-five years to life in prison just for skimming a casino, sick or no fuckin' sick you knew people were going to get clipped.

  *Chasing Amy

Banky (Jason Lee): Archie, all right. Archie and the Riverdale gang were a pure and fun lovin' bunch. You can't find dysfunction in those comics, they were just flat out wholesome.
Hooper: Archie and Jughead were lovers.
Banky: Shut the fuck up!
Hooper: It's true. Archie was the bitch and Jughead was the butch. That's why Jughead wears that crown, looking hot all the time. He's the King of Queen Archie's world.
Banky: I feel a hate crime comin' on.

Banky: You're insane. Archie is NOT fucking Mr. Weatherbee!
Hooper: Deny, deny, deny.

Holden (Ben Affleck): So, uh, what do you want to do tonight?
Banky: I don't know get a pizza, watch Degrassi Junior High.
Holden: You got a weird thing for Canadian melodrama.
Banky: I got a weird thing for girls that say "aboot."

Banky: Since you like chicks, right...do you just look at yourself naked in the mirror all the time?

[Holden returning Alyssa's page.]
Alyssa Jones (Joey Lauren Adams): One minute and five seconds, you are such my bitch.

Holden: I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You're the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being.I know you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship-no pun intended- but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before. And, I don't care, I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just couldn't allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And you know, I'll accept that. But I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. And all I ask please is that you just not dismiss that. And try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me, you can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which -while I do appreciate it- I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.

Holden: If this is a crush...I don't know if I could take it if the real thing ever happened.

Banky: This is all going to end badly.
Holden: You don't know that.
Banky: I know you. You're way too conservative for that girl. She's been around and seen things we've only read about in books.
Holden: But we have read about them. So we're prepared.

Holden: Banky doesn't hate gays, you know that.
Hooper: But I do think he is a bit homophobic. And this latest episode between you and Ms. Thing has tapped into that. In his warped perception, he lost you to the darkside-which is she.
Holden: You make it sound like me and him were dating.
Hooper: Don't kid yourself, that boy loves you in a way that he ain't ready to deal with.

Holden: I want us to be something that we can't be.
Alyssa: And what's that?
Holden: A normal couple.

Jay (Jason Mewes): So why the long face, Horace? Banky on the rag?
Holden: Just having a little girl trouble.
Jay: Bitch pressin' charges? I get that a lot.

Silent Bob (Kevin Smith): You're chasing Amy.
Jay: What do you look so shocked for, man? Fat bastard does this all the time. He thinks just 'cause he don't say anything, it'll have some huge impact when he does open his fuckin' mouth.
Silent Bob: Jesus Christ, why don't you shut up? Always yap, yap, yapping, all the time. Give me a fuckin' headache.
I went through something like you're talking about a couple of years ago. This chick named Amy...
Jay: When?
Silent Bob: A couple of years ago.
Jay: Did she live in Canada or something? Why don't I remember?
Silent Bob: Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about squeeze into the Grand fucking Canyon. Did you know that I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?
Jay: Tell your fuckin' story so we can get out of here and smoke this.
Silent Bob: So, there's me and Amy and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love and then four months down the road, the idiot gear kicks in and I ask about the ex-boyfriend, which as we all know is a really dumb move. But you know how it is you, don't wanna know, you just have to know, right? Stupid guy bullshit. So anyway, she starts telling me about him, how they fell in love and how they went out for a couple of years and how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I'm okay, but then she drops the bomb on me and the bomb is this: it seems that a couple of times while they were going out, he brought home some people to bed with them, menage a trois, I believe it is called. Now this just blows my mind, right? I mean, I am not used to this sort of thing. I mean, I was raised Catholic for God's sake.
Jay: Saint Shithead.
Silent Bob: Do something.
So, I'm totally weirded out by this right? And I just start blasting her, like I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling. So I figure the best way is if I call her a slut, right? And tell her she was used. I'm out for blood, I really want to hurt this girl. I'm like what the fuck is your problem, right? And she's just all calmly trying to tell me like it was that time and it was that place and she doesn't think she should apologize because she doesn't feel she's done anything wrong. And I'm like, oh really? That's when I look her straight in the eye, I tell her it's over. I walk.
Jay: Fuckin' A.
Silent Bob: No, idiot. It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid and at that moment, I felt small, like I'd lacked experience. Like I'd never be on her level. Like I'd never be enough for her or something like that. You know what I'm saying? But what I did not get, she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore, she was looking for me, for the Bob. But by the time I figured this all out, it was too late. She moved on and all I have to show for it was some foolish pride which then gave way to regret. She was the girl. I know that now, but I pushed her away. So, I've spent everyday since then, chasing Amy...so to speak.
 
 

Child's Play

Chuckie: I'll be your friend to the end.

Circle of Friends

Jack: You really know who you are, don't you?
Benny: Of course I do.

City of Angels

Seth: I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.

Seth: Some things are true whether you believe in them or not.
 
 

*Clerks

Chewlies Gum Rep: Please, Mr. Merchant of Death, sir, please, sell me something that will stink up my breath and my clothes and fry my lungs.

Dante Hicks: My girlfriend's sucked 37 dicks!
Customer: In a row?

Dante: Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot!

Dante: Yeah, I mean aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean that's what high school was about, algebra, bad lunch, and infidelity.

Randal: Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?
Dante Hicks (Brian Halloran): "Empire".
Randal: Blasphemy!
Dante Hicks: "Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off and finds out Vader is his father. Han is frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.

Customer: Are either of one of these any good? [Randal ignores her] Sir?
Randal: What?
Customer: Are either one of these any good?
Randal: I don't watch movies.
Customer: Well, have you heard anything about either one of them?
Randal: I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs.
Customer: You mean you haven't heard anybody say anything about either one of these?
[turns around and shows him same movies]
Customer: Well, what about these two?
Randal: Oh, they suck.
Customer: These are the same two movies. You weren't paying any attention!
Randal: No, I wasn't.
Customer: I don't think your manager would appreciate...
Randal: I don't appreciate your ruse ma'am.
Customer: I beg your pardon.
Randal: Your ruse; your cunning attempt to trick me.
Customer: I was only pointing out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying.
Randal: I hope it feels good.
Customer: You hope what feels good?
Randal: I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
Customer: Well, this is the last time I'll rent here.
Randal: You'll be missed.

Customer: It's important to have a job that makes a difference boys, that's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

Randal: This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.

Randal: Would you loosen up? You'd feel a hell of a lot better if you'd just rip into the occasional customer.

Customer: Do you have that one with that guy who was in that movie that was out last year?

Randal: They never rent quality flicks. They always pick the most intellectually devoid movie on the racks.

[After losing a hockey ball from the roof]
Dante: Are there any balls down there?
Jay (Jason Mewes): About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry!

Dante: You hate people.
Randal: But I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?

Dante: How many times have I told you not to be dealing in front of the store.
Jay: I ain't dealin', man, what you talkin' about?
Customer: Hey, you got anything man?
Jay: Yeah, what you want?

Customer: Cute cat. What's his name?
Randal: Annoying customer.
Customer: Fuckin' dickhead.

Caitlin Bree: I'm offering you my body and you're offering me semantics.

Randal: She'll get over fucking a dead guy. Shit, my mom's been fucking a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad.

Jay: I've had some girlfriends too, but all they wanted from me was weed and shit.

Silent Bob (Kevin Smith): You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world,dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.

Dante: What's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?

*Clueless

Dionne (Stacey Dash): Hello? That was a stop sign.
Cher (Alicia Silverstone): I totally paused.

Cher: Di, I'm outie.

Cher: So, the flannel shirt deal. Is that a nod to the crispy Seattle weather or are you just trying to stay warm in the refrigerator?

Cher: Thank you Josh, I so need lessons from you on how to be cool. Tell me that part about Kenny G again.

Cher: I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies.

Amber (Elisa Donovan): Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.

Tai (Brittany Murphy): I could really use some sort of herbal refreshment.
Dionne: Oh, well we do lunch in ten minutes. We don't have any tea, but we have Coke and stuff.
Tai: No shit! You guys got Coke here?
Dionne: Well, yeah.
Cher: Yeah, this is America.

Cher: So, okay I don't want to be a trader to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, c'mon it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair, ooh, and cover it with a backwards cap and like we're expected to swoon? I don't think so.

Cher: Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.

Cher: Christian said he'd call the next day, but in boy time that meant Thursday.

Cher: Oh my god, I'm totally buggin'.

Color Purple, The

Shug: I think it pisses God off when you walk by the color purple in a field and don't notice it.

Celie (Whoopi Goldberg): Until you do right by me, everything you think about is going to crumble.

 Coming to America

Randy Watson: Let's hear for my band, Sexual Chocolate!

Randy Watson: If lovin' the lord is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Con Air

Baby O (Mykelti Williamson): What's wrong with him?
Cameron Poe (Nicolas Cage): My first guess would be... a lot.

John "Johnny 23" Baca: Do you know what I am?
Cameron Poe: Ugly all day?

"Sweet Home Alabama" plays in background.]
Garland Greene (Steve Buscemi): Define irony: a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song by a group that died in a plane crash.

Garland Greene: He's a fountain of misplaced rage. Name your cliché; Mother held him too much or not enough, last picked at kickball, late night sneaky uncle, whatever. Now he's so angry that moments of levity actually cause him pain; give him headaches. Happiness, for that gentleman, hurts.

Cool as Ice

Johnny: Drop that zero and get with the hero!

  Courage Under Fire

Specialist Ilario (Matt Damon): It's not the doing shit that gets to you. It's the consequences. Imagine a life without consequences.

  *The Craft

Bus Driver: Girls watch out for those weirdo's.
Nancy (Fairuza Balk): We are the weirdo's mister.

Nancy: It is better that you should rush upon this blade then enter this circle with fear in your heart. How do you enter?
Sarah (Robin Tunney): With perfect love and perfect trust.

Nancy: The only way you know how to treat woman is by treating them like whores when you're the whore, and that's gonna stop!
Brian (Skeet Ulrich) : I'm sorry.
Nancy: He's sorry. Oh he's sorry, HE'S SORRY, HE'S SORRY, HE'S SORRY, HE'S SORRY, HE'S SORRY, SORRY MY ASS!!!!!! submitted by Marie

Nancy: You know in the old days, if a witch betrayed her coven, they would kill her.

Crimson Tide

[To his wife, before leaving for duty]
Hunter: See you in my dreams.

*Critters 3

The Crow

Sarah: People used to think that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead. But sometimes...only sometimes the crow brings that soul back to set the wrong things right.

Sarah: If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn. People die. But real love lives forever.

Albrecht: Snow White, you move you're dead.
Eric Draven (Brandon Lee): I thought cops always said "Freeze!"
Albrecht: Well, I say don't move. Move and you're dead!
Eric Draven: And I say I'm dead ... and I move...

Eric Draven: Victims.. Aren't we all?

Eric Draven: It can't rain all the time. submitted by JDWhiskers

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Crow: City of Angels, The

Ashe Corven: One crow, sorrow. Two crows, joy.

Cruel Intentions

Cecile: This iced tea tastes funny.
Sebastian: It's from Long Island.

Kathryn: Introduce her to your world of sex, drugs and... what else do you do?

Sebastian: No one told me it was asshole day at theValmont house!!!

Cutting Edge, The

Anton: Douglas, you are stem, Katia, you are petal. Together, you make love.

[On the First Olympic Skate Doug has the top button unbuttoned]
Kate: You are an immature asshole of the lowest order.
Doug: If it was forty below and that button meant the difference between a long satisfying life and a cold horrible death from
hypothermia, I still wouldn't give you the satisfaction! Skate!
 
 

*Means this film has been corrected and is in chronological order
 

Created by : Sara
Last Updated: 2-2-01
E-mail: KLAKSO@mn.rr.com