Backstreet Boys, 'N Sync, 5ive and Britney Spears in Concert

written by:Kristi

The characters: Nick Carter, Brian Littrell, Howie Dorough, AJ McLean, Kevin Richardson, Richie Neville, Abs Breen, J Brown, Sean Conlon, Scott Robinson, Justin Timberlake, Lance Bass, JC Chasez, Chris Kirkpatrick, Joey Fatone, Britney Spears and SEVERAL SECRET CAMEOS!!!
The setting: Backstage at a huge concert. What Kristi thinks would be going on. Well, she did exadurate a bit to make it funny... but more or less, what would be happening in her opinion!
Disclaimer: This is FICTION!!! It does not reflect the author's opinion of the Backstreet Boys, or any other characters featured(well, not entirely!). She is actually a very dedicated fan of everyone mentioned. This has not happened, nor will it happen, it is all a bunch of useless stuff spawned from Kristi's odd imagination.
Warning! This episode makes fun of: every single character mentioned. But in particular, Justin Timberlake, Nick Carter, Lance Bass and Britney Spears
Notes:
1)The 'concert' is an outdoor venue.. keep that in mind while reading... 2)Joey Fatone and Sean Conlon don't have big parts... my bad... And here we go!

*Everyone is sitting backstage in their dressing room. Yes, they're sharing. This is my story dang it, I can put them where I want to!*

*The 3 groups walk into the dressing room at the same time. They look at each other harsly in an awkward silence until...*

JC: ::finally speaks up:: Well I suppose we should introduce ourselves... So, uhh, I'm JC... from 'N Sync.
AJ: ::sarcastically:: Ya think?
JC: ::shoots AJ a death stare::
Kevin: ::in a motherly, I mean, fatherly tone:: AJ! Don't be rude! ::slaps AJ in the back of the head::
AJ: ::rubbing the back of his head:: Ouch, you bushy-eyebrowed piece of... ::trails off as Kevin shoots him a death stare::
Nick: Hi there JC! ::smiles cheesily like an infomercial host:: My name is Nick, and I resign in Florida!
All of 'N Sync and 5ive: Resign?
Brian: ::runs over to Nick and slaps his hand over his mouth:: How many times have we told you not to talk in public!?
Nick: Oh... sorry... ::sulks and pouts::
Howie: We apologize for Nick... He's not exactly the brightest crayon in the box...
All: ::laughing::
Justin: Did someone say sumpin' 'bout crayons? 'Dose be my fave playtime objecks!
Nick: You too?! What's your favorite crayon color!
Justin: Baby blue, yo!
Nick: Baby blue?! ::sulks:: But Aaron's crayon box doesn't come with baby blue!
Justin: If you be gettin' da Crayola Big Box, you get 'dem all!

*Nick and Justin continue talking about crayons for a little bit...*

Sean: ::to Justin:: I don't believe you've introduced yourself to us, would you please?
Justin: Oh, my bad. Whaddup, dis be Justin, betta known to fly honeez as Curly, because da hair by my...

*Just then, Britney Spears walks in, interrupting Justin's, uhh, comment*

*Britney is wearing a baby blue tubetop that's too small, too tight, too everything, and a pair of white baggy pants that are falling down. All the guys braced themselves as she was about to speak*

Britney: Like, oh my God, I'm SO sorry I'm late! Traffic was, like, horrible, or something.

Abs: ::staring at Britney's... things:: Umm, your headlights are on.
Britney: Like, Oh my God! How can you tell from in here?
Abs: ::blank stare:: What?
Britney: Like, my headlights! I don't even have my car here, how could you tell they're on! I have to like, call my mom or something! And tell her to shut off the car!
JC: Wowee, she's an idiot.
Brian: Wowee?
Lance: ::looks up from admiring himself in the mirror:: Did someone say 'she'?
'N Sync: Shut up, Lance.
AJ: ::whispers to Howie:: Or should we say, Lancette.
Howie: ::laughs::

*Just then, a brunette walks in, heads over to Nick, gives him a huge smackeroo on the lips, turns around, and leaves the room. Everyone looks at Nick cluelessly.*

Lance: ::a hint of envy in his eyes:: Who was that and what did she want?!
Nick: My girlfriend Kristi. She said the show goes on in 10 minutes.
Abs: ::scratching his head:: I didn't hear her say anything.
Nick: I counted every time her tongue--
All: Shut up!
Nick: Okay... ::more sulks and pouts::
Lance: Awww, Nicky, let me hold you!
Nick: Eew, no way, Lancette.
Lance: ::fanning himself with his hand:: Well, the nerve... ::sits back down in his seat and keeps to himself::

*All is silent for a few moments, with the exception of a few squeeks and giggles from Britney. Until Scott spoke...*

Scott: Oy, I'm so nervous I think I soiled me knickers!
Justin: Yo, dat's gross, man.
Britney: Like, yeah, you should keep those things to yourself, or something, because it's like, offensive and it hurts my feelings, and, like, yeah.
Kevin: What the hell did she just say?
Britney: Umm, I think I said like, something about...
Chris: Someone please shut her up!
Justin: ::walks over to Britney and starts kissing her. If they opened their mouths any more they'd swallow each other's heads::
Brian: That works...

*A little later*
J: Oh my goodness, they're still snogging!
Lance: ::looking longingly at J:: We should follow their example.
J: That's sick! I'm calling our manager and telling him to never put us on the same bill as 'girlie man' again! ::walks out of the room in a rush::
Richie: Uhhh, London we have a problem.
All: ::clueless:: Huh?
Richie: Well J is part of 5ive... He just left... We can't go out as 5ive without our fifth member!
Abs: Good point. We need another performer or we can't go on!

*Ironically,the door opens and who should walk in? None other than Aaron Carter*

Aaron: Did someone say they needed a performer!?
Nick: What are you doing here?
Aaron: I'm your opening act, remember?
JC: ::under his breath:: Isn't he always?
Aaron: ::shoots JC a death stare::
Sean: Can you sing?
Scott: Can you rap?
Aaron: Sure!

*He breaks into his rendition of When The Lights Go Out*

Abs: ::looking at the other 5ivers:: A little squeaky, but I guess he'll have to do. Welcome to 5ive!
Aaron: Yippee!! Wait til mom hears!
Nick: You little brat, stealing my spotlight!
Lance: Don't talk to your brother that way!
Nick: You're not my mother!
Lance: Oh yeah?

*Lance then grabs his face, and pulls it off revealing ::gasp:: JANE CARTER!*

Nick & Aaron: MOM!
All BsB: Mrs. Carter!
'N Sync(minus Joey): Uhhh, ok.
Joey: Who's that fine lady?!
The remaining 5ivers: ::inching towards the door:: Whoa. This is too weird, we're outta here!

*With that, 5ive, or shall we say 4our, walk out in a hurry*

Britney: WAIT FOR ME!!!!

*Britney runs after them*

JC: Uhh... that's not good.

*Britney runs back in*
Britney: Oh my God! It's like, raining or something!
Joey: But it can't rain! I was actually gonna SING tonight!
Britney: It can't rain! It'll like, smear my makeup!
Joey: I don't think ANYTHING can smear your makeup.
JC: Can't they put a tarp over the stage, to keep us dry and act as an umbrella or something?!
Nick: Umbrellas only work when rain falls from above.
All: What?!
Britney: He's like, right.
Brian: Alright, I'm surrounded by idiots. I can't take this anymore.

*Brian gets up and leaves*

Kevin: ::looks at Howie, AJ and Nick:: Can I take his leads?
Howie and AJ: NO!
Kevin: ::angrily:: Well fine then. I can see when I'm not appreciated.

*Kevin, too, leaves*

Chris: HaHa, you're group's falling apart!
AJ: I wouldn't be talking, dread boy. ::points towards the door::

*Chris looks over to see Britney literally hanging off of Justin*

Justin: Yo homes, I iz goin' back to da hotel... Do not disturb, if ya knows what I mean!

*Justin and Britney leave*

JC: Oh my! What will we do now! Without Justin, I'm a solo artist!
Joey: You know... you're right... and that sucks... I don't even get to sing!::with increasing anger:: Screw this!

*Joey now leaves*

Nick: Well... Kristi wants me... ::laughs:: I didn't mean it the way it came out, but she does, and that's kinda funny... ::composes himself:: Okay maybe not.

*Nick leaves also, leaving 100,000 screaming fans to be entertained by AJ, Howie, Chris and Aaron and Mrs. Carter*

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