"Let's go see your mom." "But this is supposed our time." "I feel so guilty though!! It doesn't feel right. You don't get that much time to see your parents, let alone your brother and sisters. I feel like I'm hogging you or something." "But you're not!" He looked deep into my eyes. He could see the guilt and how bad I actually felt. "Please, Nick! I know how homesick you get on tour. Just do this once, please!" He leaned over and kissed me. Nick wasn't that much taller then me, but enough that he had to lean when he kissed me. I thought it was kind of cute actually. His hair would always fell into my eyes when we kissed. It was so blond. He had bleached it once and liked it, so now he dyes it every three months or so. It's actually quite nice. "All right. I'll call mom tonight and get her to pick us up at the airport." "Thank you, Nick. You'll feel better about it." Nick had arranged some last minute tickets for us. The plane was leaving at eight the next night. He called his mom and tried to get a ride in, but no one was available, so he called one of his close friends, AJ. Luckily enough he wasn't that busy. "Yeah sure Nick! I'm not doing much. Just sitting around catching up from our last tour." "Thanks man."
The next morning we both slept in late. It was a bad habit we both had. Now mind you we slept in different rooms. Don't get me wrong or anything. We were bad but not that bad! Anyways, when I got up I started a late breakfast for Nick knowing that he hadn't much to eat in the past few days. When he and the guys were on tour, they never did eat properly. A lot of McDonald's and other greasy foods. No sooner did I throw a couple of eggs into a pan, did Nick come into the kitchen. My parents were already up and gone. They had gone shopping and running for a few things that they needed. I think my dad had to go to work too. I wasn't too sure. "Good morning." I said cheerfully with a smile. "Something smells good. What's cooking?" he asked. "Your breakfast. Bacon, eggs and toast." "Sounds good." He gave me a hug and kiss. "Do you need any help?" "No. I'll be ok. It'll be a special treat for you." Nick kissed my cheek as a thank you and went to sit down. He opened the paper to the comics and started to read them. He was still a kid in the eyes of many, but to me, he was one at heart. That's why he and his brother and sisters got along so well I guess. I wouldn't know really being an only child. I have a wild imagination though so I can only imagine what play time was like when he was younger.
Later on in the day, we got our things packed and ready to go. We wanted everything ready so it wouldn't be a rush an hour before we were to leave. Since we were going to the states I wanted to go to Tim Horton's before we left. It's a shame they don't have them down there. We finished packing around 5:30pm and had decided that we might as well order pizza from Jessy's. The day had been perfect so far. Nothing else could go wrong. Nick was kind of excited to see his family again, even though it was supposed to be our time. "I want to thank you for insisting that we go visit my family. I'm also glad that you're coming with me. They really love you like were already part of the family. My brother and sisters really look up to you. Even BJ." He smiled one of his sweetest smiles and hugged me. "Do you want to go to Timmy's now?" he asked still hugging me. "Sure. Why not. I could really go for a double, double right now." "My treat. You made breakfast so I'll get you your last Timmy's coffee for a week." "Deal!" Nick laughed and kissed me. He loved to kiss. Nick thought of it as the true way to show that you loved one another deeply.
On our way to Timmy's we chatted a bit. Nick said that he was going to take me to Disney for a tour and to show me where he first started his singing career with AJ and Howie. "Why don't we get your whole family together one day and go see a movie somewhere?" I suggested "Yeah. They'd really like that."
After we finished our little Timmy's outing, we still had about two hours left. We only needed one to get to the airport and go through customs. So we headed over to Green Gables to grab a few munches for the plane. We grabbed a few Butterfingers bars, a couple of Pepsi's and a few other things. Just as we were about to go to the cashier and pay for our junk food, a man with a gun came into the store. Nick pushed me behind him trying to protect me. "I want all of the money in the cash register." The man yelled flinging the gun all over the place. As the man turned to run out the door, he pointed the gun towards us and shot Nick in his side and ran. Everything happened so fast that it was a blur. The cashier called 911 as soon as the man ran from the store. Nick started having convulsions and I started to flip. "Nick!! Nick!! Don't you die on me!" "I-I'm all right. Ev-everything's going t-to be fine." He looked into my eyes. "My lit-little Angel." I started to cry and cry. What only took minutes seemed like it took eons for the ambulance to arrive. They strapped him in and asked me if I was a relative. "No, but I'm his girlfriend. Is he going to be all right??!!" "The sooner we get him to emerge the better he'll be. You can ride in the ambulance with us."
I climbed into the back of the ambulance and sat down beside Nick. He had lost all signs of consciousness only seconds before the ambulance arrived. I was so frightened I didn't know what to do. Nick was falling further and further. "His BP is dropping!! It's 80/40!" "He's going into shock!!" "Do something!" I yelled fearing the worst. I cried uncontrollably all the way to the hospital. I've heard of life being unfair, but this was too much. Everything was going so well until this. I hated myself now for suggesting that we even went to the store. Once, when my mother and I were watching ER I asked her what a normal BP was. She told me that a normal blood pressure was 120 over 60. A little lower or a bit higher was fine too, but 120/60 was the middle of the scale. When we arrived at the hospital, the medics took Nick straight into an emergency room where they would stabilize him and figure out what they would do next. They wouldn't let me go in for fear that I might get in the way, but I don't think I really wanted too. Not knowing what was going to happen next, I searched for a quiet room to sit and think. I found a small waiting room that was empty. 'What do I do?' I thought to myself. My eyes started to fill with tears. Unable to control my emotions, I let them flow. "Why? Why did this have to happen? Why Nick?" I cried. It sounded so hallow and empty in the little room. I felt so alone and there was nothing I could do about it. Whenever I was alone I would always look to something that had to do with Nick. Then I thought of our song. I started to cry harder. Finally I decided that I would call his family and the others in the group. I stood up and wiped my tears. "They should be here if-if-" I couldn't say it. There was no way on earth I could even think of it.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a little piece of paper that had all of the group's family, home and cell phone numbers on it. I carried it where ever I went in case of an emergency. When I started to leave the room, a doctor approached me. "Are you the girl who came in with a..." he flipped through a few papers, "Nick Carter?" "Yes I am. Is he going to be all right?" "Well he's stabilized now, but he's falling into a coma. Besides that, we can't determine where the bullet is. There isn't an exit hole and we can't just guess where the bullet is. So we're taking him down to X-ray now to find our answers. It'll only take a couple of seconds. From there we'll be able to take him into surgery and get the bullet." I stood there in shock. The doctor asked me if I wanted to go see one of the psychiatrists at the hospital, but I said no. "Is he ever going to wake up?" I asked hopeful. "It's a 50% chance. The sooner we can get the bullet out the better. Do you know his next of kin?" "I was just going to phone them." I replied staring off into space. "You can use the phone in my office so no one will bother you." I nodded my head yes. The doctor showed me his office and left me alone to make my calls. I called is mom first trying to explain everything to her, but it was almost impossible. She was too hysterical to talk. They were going to hop the next flight up which would take them close to two hours. Nick would likely be in surgery by then, but at least they were coming.
I called Brian next fearing for him the most. He and Nick were like twin brothers. Always thinking on the same level. Always knowing what the other was going to say or do. He too was catching the next flight from Lexington. I asked him to call Kevin before he left to save the doctor some money. Brian told me that he would also call AJ and Howie to tell them.
Just as I was hanging up the phone the doctor knocked on the door. "Come in." I said in a normal voice. My crying had ceased for awhile. "How did it go?" he asked. "His parents are catching the next flight." He nodded in reply and turned to leave. "Doctor. C-can I see him?" As I asked the question, I didn't quite know if I wanted him to answer, but he did. "Yes, but he's hooked up to a ventilator, it may look…." "My mom was a nurse, I know what one is." Once more he nodded in reply not knowing what to feel. The doctor took me to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) where Nick would stay until surgery. As I exited the elevator, my imagination started to run wild. Thinking of things that were all too worse then what already was. What if he had gotten shot in the head? In the chest area around his heart? What if he punctured one of his lungs? As I got closer to his room, I saw two guards sitting outside his door. The doctor explained who I was and they let me go in alone.
When they opened the door to let me in, I saw a ventilator, IV's, a heart monitor and many other things watching over Nick. These machines were keeping him alive. Once I was inside, they shut the door letting me be with him. I turned my head and shut my eyes thinking it all was a dream. A terrible dream and that I was going to wake up. I wanted to wake up damn it! I opened my eyes and turned to Nick. He was still there; asleep in the bed hooked up to all of those machines. The only sounds in the room were my breathing and the machines. I took a step forward to his bed. Then another and another until finally I was beside him and sitting in an old brown chair. I took Nick's hand in mine trying to force back tears. "They say when you're in a coma, you can still hear people talking to you. You just can't respond." I smiled at him even though he would never know it. "Your mom and dad are coming up. Guess we can forget about our trip down, huh?" I gave a little laugh trying to show him how strong I was trying to be. "Brian and the guys are on there way too. You've got to just do me one favor though Nick." I swallowed hard feeling a lump in my throat. "You have to hang in there. Please Nick." I kissed his forehead then his lips as a single tear fell from my dry eyes. I was surprised, that there were any left.
An hour later, they started wheeling him into the recovery room to prep him for the operation. Brian and Kevin would be arriving soon. I wished they were here now. I need someone who was going through the same thing. The knew Nick longer and treated him like he was their own brother. They were family. Twenty minutes later, they started. Now I feared for him more then ever. What would I do with out my little Nicky? One of the nurses showed me to the viewing room. There I could watch the surgery if I wanted to. About half way through the operation, Brian and Kevin came into the viewing room with me. "Are you ok?" Brian asked as he hugged me. His eyes were blood shot like my own. "Yeah." Shortly after them, Howie, AJ and Nick's parents arrived. They were all terrible exhausted from the flight. The doctor that treated Nick when he first arrived took his parents into his office to talk and left Brian, AJ, Howie, Kevin and myself in the viewing room. No one knew what to say. Brian sat in a corner and started to say a few prayers. The others joined him, but I couldn't. In the free time that I had earlier that evening, I went to the chapel in the hospital and said a prayer for Nick there. I was to confused to do anything now. All I could do was watch the monitors watching every blip on them. Double-checking them to make sure he was all right. I felt hopeless. That's when everything went wrong. "His heart rate's dropping." A nurse called out. I froze. The others broke their prayer and ran to the window. "BP's 96/50 and dropping." Every little blip was like a minute when really it was seconds. I was hypnotized by the monitor watching the blips diminish until it went flat. "We need a crash cart stat!!" yelled the surgeon. "CHARGE!! 200!! CLEAR!!" Nick's entire body shook with every jolt they put through him. They tried 13 or 15 times. I lost count after the eighth jolt. He was dying before my eyes. I felt a part of me leave. "Time of death.... 03:09am." Brian started to cry unimaginably, AJ stood there staring at Nick's lifeless body and just let the tears roll out. Howie didn't know what to do, while Kevin tried to comfort his cousin wiping his own tears away.
Then it hit me. I started to bang on the glass screaming his name until I fell to my knees in sorrow. Brian tried to help me up, but I pushed him away and ran out the door. He tried to run after me, but gave up after I started down a flight of stairs. I ran and ran and ran until I could no more. I had no idea where I was. It was quiet and that's all that mattered. I sat down in a chair and started to cry. I calmed down a bit feeling some sort of comfort in this room. I had no idea why. Then I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. I spun around and saw Nick. "But.. that's impossible!" is all I could mutter. Nick raised a finger to his mouth hushing me. I stood up next to him just grateful to see him again. "I never got a chance to say good-bye." He hugged me and then whispered. "or to tell you how much I love you." I cried a little still too happy to see him. Nick kissed me for a moment and then hugged me once more followed with a simple kiss on the check. "Good-bye." He said while wiping my tears. Then he vanished before my eyes. I sat back down in the chair, when Brian came to get me. "Come on. Let's go home." I smiled at him and wiped the few tears that Nick missed, and as we left the waiting room, I heard a very low and faint whisper, "I Love You!"