After he had left I decided to go home for awhile before meeting him back at his house which was like my second home. Since it was a nice day and I only lived about a half a block away I decided to walk home. When I got there I changed into dry clothes and turned on the tv. After a few hours the phone rang, I jumped up to answer it. "Hello?" "Ms. Worman?" "Yes?" I said, getting a bit nervous at the tone in the guys voice. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but there's been an accident." "An accident?" I replied trying to stay calm despite how scared I was feeling. "Yes. Your boyfriend, Nick Carter, was injured when the fans rushed the stage at the concert. He's in critical condition with a 50% chance of surviving." The guy replied. I felt my heart drop. As soon as I hung up the phone I grabbed for my car keys. The drive to the hospital was probably the worst one of my life. I was terrified for Nick. When I got there I was met practically at the door by Nick's best friend, Brian. He had a few bruises and stuff but nothin' serious. He had obviously been crying. He hugged me and asked me if I wanted to see Nick. All I could do was nod my head.
He led me to the room and then let me go in alone. As I entered the room the only sounds were the machines and Nick's light breathing. I sat down in the chair next to him, feeling tears well up in my eyes at the site of Nick lying so still. "I can't lose you Nick." I whispered tears rolling down my cheeks. "I can't" I said. I was sobbing silently now. I laced my fingers through Nicks and squeezed his hand. After that I just kinda sat there my heart aching.
About 10 minutes later to my surprise Nick opened his eyes. "Nick?" I whispered, almost afraid to speak out loud. "I love you, and I'll always be with you." he whispered gently and then closed his eyes for the last time. I just broke down sobbing harder than I had been before.
A few days later was the funeral I was too upset to go. All I had been doing since Nick had died was sitting and crying. I knew everyone felt sorry for me but felt helpless to do anything. After a week or so I knew to even start to get on with my life I needed to go to his grave. As I walked to the cemetery I passed Nick's house. I just stopped and stared at it, remembering all the time I had spent with him there. I suddenly realized that I never again would be able to hold his hand or gaze into his bright blue eyes. This realization struck me like a slap in the face. I suddenly just started crying right there in front of his old house for a long time. Finally I had no more tears and started walking. It started raining and an icy wind began to blow. When I got there I walked past the rows of tombstone looking at each one until I found his. As I knelt in front of Nick's grave all I could do was cry. I laid my hand on the cold, wet granite of the tombstone and for a second felt Nick's arms around me once again. As I stood to go, I removed my hand and then put it back. "My heart will always stay with you Nick." I whispered quietly and left, knowing I would never forget the only guy I had ever loved. Right before I stepped outside the cemetery gates I heard a low whisper "I love you and I'll always be with you". I knew Nick meant just that.