episode list for Trapper John, M.D.

This guide is my version, the official one is available again (thanks, Craig!) at the www.fxnetworks.com site

I originally got the titles from a friend who pulled them off the fxnetworks site when it existed ( I couldn't get into it for months when I first started this.) I haven't used their descriptions -- they were copyrighted in 1995 -- but the titles have been easy to confirm by watching the series. I've tried to get mine to match exactly with what's on the screen, which fxnetworks does most of the time. (Don't blame them for a few goofs. Chances are whoever put together the page for fX has a life...) There are some TV guide capsule descriptions, here, for episodes where I own that TV guide, which should be indicated where they appear. I've included them primarily because the TV guide identifies the names of the characters for guest and special guest stars, where the episodes don't. The TV guides are either Boston or Denver listings, so the times won't always match.

My descriptions are slanted toward Stan, and now that the official version is available again, I can indulge myself all the more. If fans of other characters want to contribute comments, feel free to drop me a line.
There is a separate place to look for episode credits.

(Pilot)

Gonzo arrives and waltzes into a job by acting as if he's already got one. Stanley is a real twerp in this episode, preferring golf to doctoring, and taking a famous patient before a critical patient. The writers seem to have stuck him in the "Frank Burns" role. At least Trapper considers him a "perfectly competent physician." Fortunately, they couldn't keep up with making him a total slimewad, which is why he metamorphoses into the the sweet schnook we all know and love later on.

"Love is a Three-Way Street"

Trapper's ex-wife Melanie in one of her recurring romances. Stanley's still a bit of a jerk, but Gonzo's also aggravating him by parking in his place

"Whose Little Hero are You?"

Stanley and John -- who are getting along with each other much better here than in the pilot -- save a little girl, but then face a lawsuit, which really throws Stan for a loop. He's very lawsuit shy throughout the series. He likes the publicity about the rescue, though, until the lawsuit thing comes up, and mentions an offer from the Hollywood Squares. Stanley mentions that he finds a day of golfing to be almost like therapy, which is interesting, considering that that is sort of the attitude the Trapper, Hawkeye and Duke had in the MASH books.

"Flashback"

Vietnam vet goes wacko...standard plot fare for the late 70's, but they handle it okay. Stanley tries to avoid some taxes by incorporating into Stanley Riverside, Inc., and tries to persuade first Trapper, and then Gonzo to be his vice president. He plans on expanding. Imagine a theme park with a ride through the human gullet! But the plan backfires when the SEC shows up. Gonzo seems to be starting to like Stan a little in this one. He and Trapper save a glass of Bordeaux for him at the end. n.b. when there is a shooting, Trapper, Gonzo and Stan run towards it.

"The Shattered Image"

Gonzo hires a nurse's aide who turns out to be an ex-con. When a wealthy patient loses a piece of jewelry, Stanley goes overboard and accuses the woman without proof. Not a great Stan episode, but at least he's assuming that he's acting responsibly and doing what's best for the hospital rather than just being vindictive.

"The Surrogate"

Gonzo has a sheik for a patient, as well as a kid who's been living with a man who isn't his father. Stanley has a good scene with the kid (Robbie Rist) when the kid is refusing to eat and doesn't want to see his mother. It's pretty obvious that Stanley really can't understand why any kid wouldn't want to see his own mother.

"Have You Hugged Your Nurse Today?"

Gloria falls for a patient -- a guy in a wheelchair who turns out to be married. Stanley arranges a birthday party for his father (he's really bad at it, too), but Riverside senior skips the party and goes discoing instead. Stan's really flattened by it.

"Deadly Exposure"

Gonzo and Trapper have a patient who has been exposed to radiation. Stanley is up against a family of gypsies. This is the first occasion when Stanley is blackmailed for the sake of the hospital's reputation. He's very susceptible to that.

"What are Friends For?"

Gonzo's trying to deal with a buddy who's trying to scam the hospital for money. There's a mention of Stanley having a headache like "steel bands" -- migraine? He is also being harrassed by the hospital adminstrator, Willard Hornsby, for admitting too many charity patients.

"One for My Baby"

I haven't seen this one, but my understanding is that it deals with a patient who has an alcoholic adolescent son.

"Taxi in the Rain"

The hospital's free clinic is going to be closed to make way for a luxury medical facility, and Gonzo and Trapper are trying to stop it. Good scene with Stanley and a charming derelict (William Windom) who comes in to the hospital with kidney failure. Also an interesting bit when Stanley is trying to report Gonzo and Jackpot for stealing hospital supplies and John shuts him down. He leaves, and then pokes his head back in the door, "You're not sore at me, are you, John?" This is the last episode with Willard Hornsby.

"Licensed to Kill"

One of Trapper's best episodes. His ex-wife Melanie gets kidnapped and held as a hostage to force Trapper to let a patient die. Very little of Stanley, except when he's trying to help the police deal with the staff security issues. I think the word we're looking for here is "officious."

"Boom!"

The party for Trapper's tenth anniversary as Chief Surgeon turns into a tense situation when someone delivers a bomb threat among the greeting cards. Interesting to watch Stanley when he finds out about the threat, and more interesting to watch him trying to deal with having the cops wanting him to keep the area clear as they defuse first a dummy and then, later, the actual bomb. He's obviously terrified, but he does what he thinks is the right thing to do. Stanley says he "dabbled" with explosives when he was a kid, but had to stop because the neighbors kept complaining. His father calls him fifteen minutes before the bomb is supposed to go off and tells him to rescue some artwork, which tells us a lot about his father...n.b. Arnold says that the hospital has over a thousand patients, and at least four hundred employees (presumably all on the same shift, since he's talking about the difficulty of evacuating.)

Warning: I May be Hazardous to Your Health

Stanley falls -- hard -- for Carson Whittaker, a beautiful neurosurgeon, who paid for medical school by being a hooker. This is a great look at Stanley, not only when he's besotted, but also when he discovers the truth. Note particularly how he defends CW to a slimy reporter, even though he's been really hurt by the realization that she isn't what he'd hoped she'd be. Very good Stan episode.

Missionary's Downfall

Gonzo and Trapper are dealing with gang kids, one of whom is an artist, as well as a sick woman and a holistic medicine author. Stanley's not sure about the gang kid or the author. Interesting bit where he actually gets up on the top of the Titanic. He's not happy with the height -- and it's fairly clear that he's never had to go down a ladder, either. But he does it.

It's a Wise Surgeon

Trapper has an unexpected surprise, a young man from Korea who claims to be his son. Stanley diagnoses a woman with a rare kind of tumor. He's pretty smug about it, but given the rarity of the syndrome, he's probably got cause.

If You Can't Stand the Heat

Trapper is trying to get away for a vacation when the hospital is inundated by patients. Bay City General, their main rival, has had a fire. On top of everything else, one of the doctors from Bay City is acting really strange. Two good bits with Stanley, one when he is dealing with an older lady who is playing for good treatment by pretending to put everyone she likes into her will. (And especially Stanley's reaction when he finds out she's broke.) Also, the bit where Stanley finds out that he's been exposed to PCP's. There are reasons why Stanley doesn't always feel like part of the group!

Till Life Do Us Part

One of Stanley's patients is planning to bump someone off (it turns out she's a soap opera writer. Gonzo and Trapper have to deal with some terminal patients. Marcia Rodd, who later plays EJ Riverside, is a guest star.

Strike

The nurses go on strike -- much to Stanley's dismay. The negotiator is an old flame of Starch's. Essential Starch episode.

Short Odds

Gonzo's trying to date a pretty new surgeon. Stanley's trying to make a good impression on the county examiner so the hospital will keep an important contract. And it isn't easy!

Quarantine

When Trapper's ex finds an infant with pneumonic plague the hospital ends up overflowing with people who might have been exposed. Watch Stanley with the baby near the end, with the wedding party when they arrive and leave, and waffling between Trapper and Arnold.

Hot Line

Other people (Gonzo!) start a hotline at one of the public phones, but Stanley doesn't approve until he gets pulled into a call from a runaway boy who is going into a diabetic coma. Then he talks his father into funding it.

Girl Under Glass -- Part 1

Gonzo meets a girl with a "bleeding" disease who also has an ulcer, and they get um...romantic. Some interesting bits with Stanley, as the girl has a very rich father, and Stanley's trying to get the hospital a new benefactor. Trapper's trying to replace Starch, who has retired, and has to persuade Ernie to come back into the business. n.b. Trapper talked Gonzo into a haircut, Stanley is working the Sunday afternoon shift.

Girl Under Glass -- Part 2

Gonzo's been charged with sexual misconduct with a patient -- the rich girl -- and it's messing everything up. Some excellent bits with Stanley and Ernie -- especially when she's helping Jackpot and Gloria bully him into persuading his father to help (which backfires), and later when she praises him to Gonzo for his actions in a crisis. Stanley is really surprised at getting praise.

Slim Chance

An old friend of Gonzo's turns up in the emergency room, pounds thinner, but having a mysterious set of symptoms. The diagnosis isn't helped by her lies about the pills she's taking either. Good scene with Stanley and the girl, better scene with him indignantly reporting a negligent doctor to Trapper. The "now Stanley, we're talking about a respected physician" gambit which works in other episodes fails here. Lovely bit of business between Ernie, Gloria and Jackpot.

Creepy Time Gal

[[from tv guide] May 31, 1981 (repeat) (Sun 9:00) As the staff readies for a costume ball, Gonzo and Trapper are baffled by the case of a student taken ill while researching a paper on Satanism. Riverside, Ripples, Jackpot, Shoop, Slocum Cassie...Madeline Stowe Donnelly....David Groh Dr. Thornwood....Ned Wilson Bates....R.G. Armstrong Simms....William Lanteau] Gonzo and Stan get stuck in an elevator -- Stan claims to be claustrophobic, but calms down when the girl with them is in a medical crisis. Catch Stanley in costume.

Call Me Irresponsible

Stanley gets accused of malpractice or maybe attempted murder after his father's "fiancee" has a serious allergic reaction and he's the only one who's given her anything resembling medication. Gonzo comes to the rescue with some clever detective work. This is an essential Stanley episode, not only for his reaction to being accused and fired, but also for how he reacts to the notion that his father might re-marry, and how he interacts with his accuser/future "mom". n.b. the headwaiter at Roberti's (the best restaurant in town) appears to know -- and like -- Stan. Trapper describes himself as Chief of Staff rather than surgery.

Straight and Narrow

Gonzo takes Stan to a gay bar to try to find out who shot a gay cop during a riot. Stanley waffles a lot in this episode -- but there are some fun scenes.

Earthquake

Stanley has to handle things when there's an earthquake, and Trapper and Gonzo are away. When all of the ob-gyns are busy, he also gets to deliver a baby, which absolutely delights him. Trapper is trapped in a broken cabin and Gonzo gets mistaken for a looter (and tells the people holding him that his name is Riverside and he's a kidnapper!)

The Pagoda Cure

When an elderly Vietnamese woman who doesn't speak English comes in as a patient, a lab tech, Miss Tranh, is the only person she allows to touch her. And when the woman is put through surgery without a consent form, it turns out that Miss Tranh was a surgeon in Viet Nam and is very close to becoming one in California. Very interesting to watch Stanley with her -- he recommended her for the position, and he defends her after she is caught out, but it's the body language that's really fascinating.

Have I Got a Girl for You

One of Trapper's old friends has a daughter who is a student nurse -- and she makes a serious play for Trapper...

Who's the Lucky Father

A con artist ends up at SFM, and getting outconned by his romantic interest and Trapper and Gonzo. He cons Stan into buying some property, and for once, Stanley's investments pay off!

A Family Affair

Melanie shows up again, when she's having problems and she and Trapper's daughter, Kim, is talking about quitting school.

Finder's Keepers

A street gang is taking care of a little girl, but her mental condition is deteriorating. Gloria has hidden some kittens in Stan's office -- and he is violently allergic to cats. (but susceptible to cuteness!)

Days of Wine and Leo

Trapper has an old army buddy join the hospital staff -- only there're are some problems that go beyond the fact that the man is a double amputee. Jackpot and Stan think that they've gotten their hands on a valuable stud. (Horse, that is....)

A Case of the Crazies

The hospital, at Stan's suggestion, starts a daycare center for the children of the staff. But when one of the children gets hurt it is discovered that the teacher has a history of mental illness.

Second Sight

Jackpot's ready to take his national boards -- or is he? Well, no. He's distracted by a romance with a blind girl whom he persuades to try an operation to restore her sight. And when the effects are only temporary, it throws him pretty badly. Stanley pushes Jackpot pretty hard to do well on the exam, but when Jackpot misses the date, he lets Gonzo and Jackpot persuade him to sign off on a fake injury so that Jackpot can re-take the exam. (Jackson's full name is Justin Jedidiah Jackson ?!! ) Essential Jackpot episode.

King of the Road

Gonzo's real father -- who walked out when he was a kid -- turns up in a beat up old RV. (Gonzo's mom calls him George.) Essential Gonzo episode. Stanley is hinting broadly about his tenth anniversary, waiting for the party, and no one has arranged it. Ernie comes to the rescue.

The Albatross

Deaf mute girl causes havoc -- may have broken Gloria's jaw and kicked Stan hard enough to at least knock the wind out of him. A visiting Dr. from Peking gives Stan and Trapper a very hard time. Stanley displays a good diagnostic sense when discusssing the girl.

Brain Child

Michael J. Fox as a very young intern -- who is a genius at medicine, but has no idea how to deal with people. Stanley buys a big screen tv just so he can invite everyone over -- and he's not quite sure what your butler serves for watching football...

Cooperative Care

"You're in the hands of two geniuses," Jackpot
"Well, at least one," Stanley. Patient advises him on stock. Arnold's appendectomy -- when the entire staff bullies him.

Give Till it Hurts

Gloria's brother borrows money and talks Stanley into co-signing, and then changes the amount -- leaving Stanley vulnerable to threatening "collection agents" from a loan shark.

That Old Gang of Mine

Stanley and Jackpot conspire to come up with a really good bachelor party when it looks like Gonzo's going to get married -- including a stag film.

C.O.D.

A newborn who is a heroin addict is brought in; Stanley spots the problem. Trapper says Stan could be a cardiovascular man and he values Stan's opinion. Very good for Stan. This is also the episode with the relay race where Stan ends up running the whole thing by himself.

Hate is Enough

One of the doctors at the hospital turns out to be a Nazi. Unfortunately, it's the same doctor that Stanley has been pushing as the "typical" Memorial physician in an attempt to attract affluent patients after a prominent politician chose to go to Bay General instead.

The Ego Experience

A big name self-help guru is checked in, and gets death threats. Stanley tries the method, trying to improve/redefine his relationship with his father. Turns out the threats are against Gonzo -- who nearly gets killed when the unbalanced nurse's aide who's sending them tries to gas him with propane in the Titanic. Later Stanley runs after Gonzo who has figured it out and nearly gets shot.

Is There a Doctor in the Big House

Gonzo and Stan deliver a baby at a women's prison. Later, some of the prisoners use Stan to make a breakout.

'Tis the Season

The Christmas episode. Stanley turns down the chance to go to the executive Christmas party when the rest of the staff isn't invited and tries to organize a staff party, but it doesn't really get off the ground until Ernie joins in. A wino Santa Claus gets fond of a sick kid.

Mother Dearest

Stanley's old Nanny shows up -- and tells him that his real mother lives nearby. Unfortunately, it's a scam. A really really really good Stan episode.

Future Imperfect

A surgeon coming in for a special case is married to one of Gonzo's old flames. Stanley invests in "National Snake Products."

"42"

Lance Kirwin as a kid who thinks he's an alien. Not much Stan, but an interesting episode.

Victims

Trapper gets burglarized, and decides to get a gun. A microsurgeon shoots his wife. Good scene with Stanley and a patient's mother. Lots of worries about things being stolen. Stan is trying to leave when he gets asked to stay... Much different from pilot where he is complaining about missing golf.

Angel of Mercy

Someone's killing patients -- when Stan hurts his back (seriously enough to end up in traction!) he thinks he might become the next victim.

Danny

An orderly with a crush on Gloria has appendicitis. We find out that Stanley likes maple frosting.

Ladies in Waiting

the hospital is dealing with a bunch of teenage hookers. Good scene with Stanley and a cheerleader who has broken her leg. Gonzo recruits Stanley into going down to look for the hookers later -- Stanley is _not_ very experienced with that sort of thing.

The Peter Pan Syndrome

Nurse Pitts is writing a novel -- in Stan's office. Everyone seems to have a corresponding character in it too, except for you know who.

Medicine Man

Ben Murphy (o be still my beating heart!) guest stars as a guy who pretends to be a doctor -- he's good, too, but he hasn't got any medical school training. He also gets Stanley's father to get him into some kind of club which Stanley hasn't been able to join. Couple of interesting things here. Stan is sure that the guy shouldn't practice without a license, but he also talks dad into getting the family lawyer to help him when he gets arrested.

Maybe Baby

Stanley thinks Gonzo's eloped. Gonzo thinks he might be a daddy.

Love and Marriage

A romance for Ernie doesn't work out. Her going away party turns into a "glad you're staying" party.

Candy Doctor

good scene with Stanley persuading Gonzo and Jackpot to stay and help. Gonzo has a damaged leg, and gives a different explanation to everyone. Stanley's trying to organize a class reunion for his medical class. Stanley really thoughtful when Gloria talks about very close friends , which she defines as "people who can't wait to see you, even after a long time," -- and he says "I don't think I have any very close friends."

Doctors and Other Strangers

Gonz, Trap & Stan go to a medical conference in Mexico. Check out Stan in the wonderful ice cream suit! Trapper has a romance that doesn't work out. Stan tries out his rudimentary Spanish, films everything in sight, and spends at least one day with Montezuma's revenge. The films got shown to Ernie, Jackpot, Gloria and Gonzo at the end, and everyone was enjoying them. While they are gone Jackpot is in charge of ER, and Ernie and Gloria give him a hard time. This is an essential Trapper episode for the romance, and an essential Jackpot episode for what happens back a the ranch.

A Piece of the Action

Jackpot talks several people, including Stan, but _not_ Trapper, into investing in a boxer. Stanley is also dealing with a drummer who doesn't want to cooperate.

A Cause for Concern

Trapper teases Gonzo by letting him think that he might take a job in Boston. Then Gonzo starts thinking about leaving -- then Brancusi is seriously dating a guy from Omaha and might dating -- then Jackpot gets an offer from a doctor from Chicago. Meanwhile Stanley is working. And working. Four days and three or four nights straight into a breakdown. The writers were sneaky on this one. For the first part of the episode, Stanley's frantic search for someone to come in to work looks like his usual "comic relief" secondary plot. Especially good scenes with Trapper at the end.

John's Other Life

There's a big garbage strike -- and Stanley's the one who is trying to solve the problem, even if it means paying for the solution himself. Gonzo's got a patient who needs a transplant, but doesn't want to contact his blood relations.

The One and Only

Stanley has to face Arnold over inadequate equipment in Emergency. Arnold thinks he's dying. Gonzo has a patient who is a member of a cult. Charles Siebert directs.

Don't Rain on My Charade

Trapper's dealing with his ex- mother in law. A nurse shortage prompts Gonzo to volunteer to act as a nurse for a while, and Jackpot and Stanley tease him, until he talks Stanley into doing some special tests on a patient. Stanley has a nice scene where he almost gets the credit for the work and the diagnosis, but he fesses up in the end.

Three on a Mismatch

Arnold gets involved with a patient, Trapper gets involved with a cleaning woman. (Stanley's not pleased when Trapper invites her to a social event, but he (as usual) backs down.) Ernie asks Jackpot to give her niece a tour of the city, and then reacts badly when the two of them get along _very_ well. n.b., Arnold is after Stan about overtime in Emergency.

Truth or Consequences part 1

Gonzo and Trapper invest in a vineyard, but it turns out to be a wreck -- and someone's been storing weapons in the cellar. Stanley is having tooth trouble, and goes to his dentist, but his dentist is gone, and the replacement is EJ -- who he promptly falls in love with. Arnold want someone to write up a plan in case of limited nuclear war. Trapper won't do it, so Stanley gets stuck.

Truth or Consequences part 2

Gonzo and Trapper get taken prisoner by survivalists, and Stanley ends up caring for the burn patient they had brought. He and EJ make wedding plans, but she almost backs out until she sees him try to make his presentation about the war plans. He breaks down and explains what happened to the burn patient -- how much work was involved and how they lost him anyway. So they get married -- once Trapper and Gonzo show up, in a helicopter.

Object of My Affliction

Stanley consults a gypsy psychic about his stocks, but realizes that she has heart trouble and brings her back to the hospital. Unfortunately, she predicts her own death if she has surgery, so Stanley and Gonzo have to convince her that she's _not_ psychic. Jackpot is having second thoughts about staying in Emergency medicine after a patient dies and he gets a real problem patient that makes it look like he's been making serious mistakes. Really good Jackpot episode.

You Pays Your Money

A persnickity patient shows up, with a suitcase full of money. A nurse is photographed for a "men's" magazine. And Gloria, who really needs the money, is trying to figure out how to raise it..

Thanks for Giving

The Thanksgiving episode. Arnold runs into Trapper in the parking lot during a heavy fog, giving Gloria, Stanley, and Gonzo chances to reflect on things he's done for or with them. Jackpot tries to bargain for turkeys for the hospital. Interesting episode. Everyone's mad at Trapper at the beginning, except Stan. And the flashbacks all involve Trapper helping someone, except for Stanley, who remembers a Thanksgiving conversation where Trapper described a sister who had died young. The flashback with Ernie is one of the best sequences in the whole series.

The Ransom

Riverside Senior donates a million dollars to the retired polo ponies, irritating most of the staff, because the hospital is cutting back personnel. Then Stanley kidnapped -- and his old man is sailing with an all girl crew off Tahiti with the radio turned off, so Trapper and Gonzo and the others try to raise the ransom -- a million. Gonzo delivers it, and gets nabbed himself, but the cops come to the rescue in time. Vincent Price guest stars.

The Good Life

Trapper is taking a break by covering for a doctor in a little town. Stanley's trying to deal with an efficiency expert -- who is coming on to him. When she recommends that his position be eliminated, he goes to visit Trapper. Trapper gets called back to SF for a case, and finds out what's happened, and goes to bat for Stan. n.b. Stanley _does_ ask this time if it really was his dad who saved his neck. This is the episode where Stanley mentions having childhood asthma -- and goes to help save a fire engine in spite of himself. Also, note the difference between the Pilot, where Stan is never available, and this episode where Trapper says "usually we have to blast him out of this hospital" and calls Stan "the best damn Emergency man in the state."

Getting to Know You

Stanley's been appointed chairman of the Physician's Search Committee -- and his first recruit is a neurosurgeon who collapses in surgery. And whose wife is making a serious play for Gonzo.

Russian and Ruses

Trapper has a patient, a Russian envoy, who is avoiding necessary surgery. Gonzo's trying to find a place for all his stuff -- including an old patient who keeps sneaking back into the hospital.

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