To know that the angels welcomed her with arms opened wide..
To vision her face glowing with joy..
It is a peace of mind to feel her happiness..
To feel her Freedom..

My dear mother passed away April 11, 1997 from the dreadful word we so often hear..
Cancer
Mom was a very vibrant and joyful person.
She was well known in our community.
Everyone seem to light up with a smile when they seen her out in the public areas.
People would stop and talk to us for long periods of time.
My mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, it seemed as though the world stopped.
I was afraid my mother would give up,
yet I knew she would battle the disease with all her might.
Here I was..In Nursing school, and a single parent.
It had taken me three years to get into the program, and this happened.
But..In my eyes..My mother needed me.
So I withdrew from the program, at least until she would get better.

One night, while lying in bed asleep,
I woke up, hearing my mother crying.
I walked into the living room and seen her sitting on the couch.
Holding her head down..letting the tears of fear falling down her face.
I spoke softly to her.
"Mom, I know you're scared, but don't give up.
I will be here for you".
Mom raised her head up, and looked at me and smiled.
When I seen that smile, I knew..She would not give up.

I'll never forget what she said to the doctor,
"I'll fight it to my last dying breath."
He was proud of my mother..Especially her way of looking at this disease..
She believed that what she went through, might save someone in the future.

My mother went through an operation..
Several series of Chemotherapy, and radiation treatments.
Her cancer went into remission.
During that summer, she began to complain with her hips hurting.
I was due to start back into nursing school that August..
I had a dreadful feeling..
And my feeling was true.
She returned to her doctor, to find out that the cancer had spread to her bones.
Mom came home with the news..
We sat and talked for hours, and days.
She told me, "Don't stop school because of me..
Go back to school. Do it for me..
So I did..
I feared my mother would go into depression.
So I kept talking to her, trying to cheer her up.
My aunts would help out with taking her to the doctor appointments, and treatments..
I was going to school, doing the best I could.
Towards the end of my first semester,
I could see my mother slowly breaking down.

During my second semester, my mother became worse.
She became more and more weak.
I was so scared..Scared of loosing her.
Thoughts would run into my mind about what it would be without her..
How life would be without her to be there to talk too..
To laugh with..
And even to cry with..
I couldn't bare the pain in my heart each time those thoughts ran into my mind.
But I knew I had to face reality..

My mother celebrated her 56th birthday on March 18, 1997..
Family and friends came to visit, and we celebrated..
The birthday went well, but during that time, she wasn't able to stay up for long.
We took her to the bedroom, so she could rest and open her gifts.
She would smile with each gift, and give her thanks to the persons who gave them.
It was a good day..

April arrived, and mom was worse..
Each day was a battle..
Her pain grew more and more intense.
Her fears were overpowering her heart.
She would ask me several times..
"How will it happen? Tell me"..
Do you know how hard it is to sit there and explain what happens?
No..you don't until it comes your way.
That was the hardest thing I had to do..To tell her..
I'll never forget the words she said, "Oh, It's not fair..
I'm so young..Why did this have to happen to me?"
I didn't know what to say..All I could do was to hold her hand..
And cry with her..

She had been in a comatose state about 3 days..
The family and friends where gathered around her.
Finally at 8:25pm, on a April 11, 1997..
My mother left this world..

I thank God that it was a painless death..
That was the last thing I wanted to see..To see her in pain.
I had seen her suffering for three and a half years..
Her battle was over..

It wasn't until months later..after she was burried..
That I noticed on her tombstone the words she wanted to have on it..
I was depressed, and down, not knowing what I was going to do..
I looked at it after I stood there speaking to her, and I seen it..
The writing took me by suprise..
"Lo, For I am with you Always"
I knew then..that she would always be with me..

She was my bestfriend..
My mother..
And now..she's my Angel..

So when you hear of friends that have sickeness in the family..
Don't ignore it..
Be there for them..Support them..and show them they are not alone through this..
I thank the doctors who took care of my mother, the Hospice,
My friends, teachers, and my family..

I love you mom..Forever..