A COMPARISON BETWEEN 'SPINAL TAP' AND OTHER HEAVY METAL BANDS
When 'Spinal Tap' came out in 1984, many musicians, from Brad Whitford of Aerosmith to the Edge of U2 to John Lydon of the Sex Pistols hailed its' close resemblance to the real lives of self-important, ego-crazed rock performers. As 'Tap' is known as one of the great parodies of this time period, it leads one to wonder--which came first, Spinal Tap, or the heavy metal groups they viciously satirize? It's the classic "chicken or the egg" question, so, after completing several weeks of research (well, OK, it only took me about an hour or so) on great and not-so-great heavy metal acts of the 80's, I pose to you the many comparisons between these groups and Spinal Tap. I also offer you my vote for the group that most closely resembles Spinal Tap, but will leave the forum open for any and all other suggestions.
Among the forgettable metal groups that reared their ugly, big-haired heads during my research on the internet were Dokken, L.A. Guns, Helloween, Britny Fox, Giuffria, Krokus, Accept, Y&T, and some groups even I, a bonafide 80's expert, didn't even remember, like Anvil and Saxon. But even worse than these groups were the ones that virtually symbolize the salad years of leopard-print spandex pants, purple eyeliner, and skimpily dressed bimbos either chained to walls or dry-humping hot cars. Did these groups thrive in spite of a parody like 'Spinal Tap', or because of it? Consider the evidence......
AC/DC: This group has probably had about a dozen or so albums out, but what song does everybody remember the most? 'You Shook Me All Night Long'. Why? Because of the video, where a scantily-clad Hustler model is seen in the background straddling a bucking mechanical bull like John Travolta in Urban Cowboy, for no discernible reason whatsoever. "What's the matter with being sexy?" "Sexist. Sex-ist." Nigel Tufnel wore a kilt on stage, Angus Young wears that same stupid English schoolboy uniform all the time. Spinal Tap sang 'Big Bottom'. AC/DC sang 'Big Balls'. Spinal Tap drummer Eric 'Stumpy Joe' Childs died from choking on someone else's vomit. AC/DC lead singer Bon Scott died from choking on his own vomit. However, since 'Big Balls' and Bon Scott's death occurred before 'This is Spinal Tap' was released, this lowers AC/DC's 'Tap Quotient' a bit. But consider this--if AC/DC hadn't done the soundtrack for Maximum Overdrive, it would have been perfect for Spinal Tap.
TAP QUOTIENT (how much this group resembles Spinal Tap, on a scale from 1-10): 6
JUDAS PRIEST: The only obvious resemblance between Judas Priest and Spinal Tap is that surely former Priest lead singer Rob Halford and Tap bassist Derek Smalls shop at the same store for their wardrobes. Rob Halford's clothing was adorned with so many chains and spikes that he should have worn a sign that read 'DO NOT BACK UP--SEVERE TIRE DAMAGE MAY RESULT'. And, Spinal Tap never got accused of writing music that influenced kids to commit suicide.
TAP QUOTIENT: 3
THE "WHITE" GROUPS (WHITESNAKE, GREAT WHITE, WHITE LION): No obvious resemblance between these groups and Spinal Tap, but just their names alone are testaments to the lack of creativity that permeated the heavy metal fad. Whitesnake sounded just like Led Zeppelin on a bad day, and had the added cheese bonus of former O.J. bimbo Tawny Kitaen star in a couple of their videos (she was the lead singer's girlfriend at the time). The only thing anybody remembers about Great White is that they sang a crappy song called 'Once Bitten, Twice Shy' from an album called Once Bitten (the follow-up album was called Twice Shy--oh those wacky Great White guys!). The only thing anybody remembers about White Lion is that they sang a crappy song called 'When the Children Cry', and disappeared into obscurity soon after that.
TAP QUOTIENT: 2
WARRANT: 'Big Bottom'. 'Sex Farm'. 'Cherry Pie'. What do these three songs have in common? Sexist, misogynist lyrics about women and sex written from what seems to be the point of view of a fifteen year-old zit-faced Burger King employee. But what makes 'Cherry Pie' different from the other two is that this was a song that saw actual wide release, and was even a Top Ten hit! 'Cherry Pie', an ode to oral sex, had a video that many believe is the worst music video of all time, beating the Wang Chung epileptic nightmare 'Everybody Have Fun Tonight' and even the Michael & Janet Jackson freak show 'Scream'. Set against a blinding white background, it's just the band singing their horrible song while huge, dripping wedges of cherry pie fall into the crotch of some jailbait-age blonde. Of course, today the lead singer says it was all meant as a joke.
TAP QUOTIENT: 2
TWISTED SISTER: Twisted Sister deserves a special mention because they took the Spinal Tap initiative and knowingly made a parody out of themselves. Take a look at their video for 'We're Not Gonna Take It'--it starred Niedermayer from Animal House, for chrissakes!
Though lead singer Dee Snider still continues to perform with his group Widowmaker, he looks back on his 80's career with humor, even hosting a weekly national radio show called 'The House of Hair'. Twisted Sister even appeared in Pee Wee's Big Adventure!
TAP QUOTIENT: 1
POISON: Forget everything else--look at the makeup!! Nigel, with his sparkly eyeshadow and cosmetically-enhanced chin cleft, would have fit in perfectly with Poison, especially in their Look What the Cat Dragged In period. Poison wavered back and forth between trying to be just another T&A hair band with such hits as the unforgettable 'Talk Dirty to Me' and 'Unskinny Bop', and serious artistes, with their biggest hit 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn'.
Nowadays, though they were one of the more popular groups during the heavy metal craze, Poison isn't doing much, though lead singer Bret Michaels (the one in the top left hand corner of the album cover at right) is trying to forge an acting career, and trying to live down the fact that he's not the only guy Pamela Anderson allowed herself to be videotaped having sex with.
TAP QUOTIENT: 5
And speaking of guys Pamela Anderson has been videotaped having sex with.......
MOTLEY CRUE: At first, Motley Crue jumped on that whole 'Satan Worship' bandwagon that groups like Black Sabbath and Slayer (which, if you read much of the graffiti that adorned high school walls in the 80's, supposedly stood for Satan Laughs As You Eternally Rot) started, having lots of "Satanic" stuff like flaming pentagrams and such, though their heavy makeup and and costumes were more reminiscent of KISS than Anton LaVey. Then they just became another teenage titfreak band, one of the only groups to actually include a shot of the requisite "chick flashing the band during a concert" right in one of their videos. Whether intentionally or not, Motley Crue became even more of a self-parody then Twisted Sister. They even had the umlaut in their name, just like Spinal Tap. Each one of the band members married former porno mag models (one of lead singer Vince Neil's exes was noted as a "professional mud wrestler), and all of them
have had run-ins with Johnny Law, for every offense from drunk driving to drummer Tommy Lee's favorite felony, spousal abuse. Again, like just about every other band on this list, Motley Crue hasn't been doing much lately. Guitarist Nikki Sixx is married to an "actress" on Baywatch. Tommy Lee, whose appeal to such surgically-enhanced stars as Heather Locklear and Pamela Anderson is exactly what you thought it was--an enormous schwartz (do you suppose there's an armadillo in his trousers?), is currently serving time for smacking Pam around while she was holding their seven week-old baby in her arms. Wonder what David and Jeannine are up to lately?
TAP QUOTIENT: 7
And now, without further ado, the heavy metal group I feel bears the most resemblance to Spinal Tap......
DEF LEPPARD: Not one good song. Not one good song! Even Motley Crue had 'Home Sweet Home', which was passable. But Def Leppard? Crap, crap, and more crap piled on to that crap. Spinal Tap isn't even a real band, and Def Leppard's songs still sound like second-rate version of them. Choose your poison--will it be 'Rock of Ages', 'Pour Some Sugar On Me', or 'Armageddon It'? For me, the worst of the bunch has to be 'Love Bites', a "power ballad"
that makes Poison's 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn' sound like Neil Young's 'Heart of Gold'. Another one of their songs, 'Rock It' (or 'Rocket', however the flock you spell it), sounds just like Tap's unforgettable 'Heavy Duty'. And, as far as I'm concerned, the lyrics to 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' were shamelessy inspired by 'Big Bottom' ("I'm gonna sink her with my pink torpedo", "I'm hot, sticky sweet, from my head to my feet"--can you tell the difference?). They even have a band member named Viv! But of course, the most obvious similarity between Def Leppard and Spinal Tap is the tragedy that has befallen its' drummers, or drummer, in Def Leppard's case. Drummer Rick Allen lost his arm in a car accident about ten years ago, but, apparently feeling the need to continue to participate in the world's suckingest heavy metal group, relearned to play the drums with his feet. While Allen's story could be considered inspiring, playing drums with his feet hasn't improved Def Leppard's music any. Then again, playing drums with his ass probably wouldn't improve Def Leppard's music, either. Still, his "feat" inspired a line in a song by the Bloodhound Gang-"the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm, the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm.....". And, losing an arm hasn't slowed Allen down that much. Like our old pal Tommy Lee, he was arrested a few years back for beating his wife. With one arm.
TAP QUOTIENT: a big fat 10
And then there's Metallica's all-black album cover a few years back........but I like Metallica, so I'm not going to get into that.
What heavy metal group do you believe most resembles Spinal Tap? Are there any groups I'm forgetting? Do you have anything to say in defense of the groups mentioned above? Please write me with your thoughts. Any opinions or suggestions will be posted!
FOR MORE COMPARISONS, GO TO THE DISCOGRAPHY!
BACK TO MAIN PAGE!
When 'Spinal Tap' came out in 1984, many musicians, from Brad Whitford of Aerosmith to the Edge of U2 to John Lydon of the Sex Pistols hailed its' close resemblance to the real lives of self-important, ego-crazed rock performers. As 'Tap' is known as one of the great parodies of this time period, it leads one to wonder--which came first, Spinal Tap, or the heavy metal groups they viciously satirize? It's the classic "chicken or the egg" question, so, after completing several weeks of research (well, OK, it only took me about an hour or so) on great and not-so-great heavy metal acts of the 80's, I pose to you the many comparisons between these groups and Spinal Tap. I also offer you my vote for the group that most closely resembles Spinal Tap, but will leave the forum open for any and all other suggestions.
Among the forgettable metal groups that reared their ugly, big-haired heads during my research on the internet were Dokken, L.A. Guns, Helloween, Britny Fox, Giuffria, Krokus, Accept, Y&T, and some groups even I, a bonafide 80's expert, didn't even remember, like Anvil and Saxon. But even worse than these groups were the ones that virtually symbolize the salad years of leopard-print spandex pants, purple eyeliner, and skimpily dressed bimbos either chained to walls or dry-humping hot cars. Did these groups thrive in spite of a parody like 'Spinal Tap', or because of it? Consider the evidence......
AC/DC: This group has probably had about a dozen or so albums out, but what song does everybody remember the most? 'You Shook Me All Night Long'. Why? Because of the video, where a scantily-clad Hustler model is seen in the background straddling a bucking mechanical bull like John Travolta in Urban Cowboy, for no discernible reason whatsoever. "What's the matter with being sexy?" "Sexist. Sex-ist." Nigel Tufnel wore a kilt on stage, Angus Young wears that same stupid English schoolboy uniform all the time. Spinal Tap sang 'Big Bottom'. AC/DC sang 'Big Balls'. Spinal Tap drummer Eric 'Stumpy Joe' Childs died from choking on someone else's vomit. AC/DC lead singer Bon Scott died from choking on his own vomit. However, since 'Big Balls' and Bon Scott's death occurred before 'This is Spinal Tap' was released, this lowers AC/DC's 'Tap Quotient' a bit. But consider this--if AC/DC hadn't done the soundtrack for Maximum Overdrive, it would have been perfect for Spinal Tap.
TAP QUOTIENT (how much this group resembles Spinal Tap, on a scale from 1-10): 6
JUDAS PRIEST: The only obvious resemblance between Judas Priest and Spinal Tap is that surely former Priest lead singer Rob Halford and Tap bassist Derek Smalls shop at the same store for their wardrobes. Rob Halford's clothing was adorned with so many chains and spikes that he should have worn a sign that read 'DO NOT BACK UP--SEVERE TIRE DAMAGE MAY RESULT'. And, Spinal Tap never got accused of writing music that influenced kids to commit suicide.
TAP QUOTIENT: 3
THE "WHITE" GROUPS (WHITESNAKE, GREAT WHITE, WHITE LION): No obvious resemblance between these groups and Spinal Tap, but just their names alone are testaments to the lack of creativity that permeated the heavy metal fad. Whitesnake sounded just like Led Zeppelin on a bad day, and had the added cheese bonus of former O.J. bimbo Tawny Kitaen star in a couple of their videos (she was the lead singer's girlfriend at the time). The only thing anybody remembers about Great White is that they sang a crappy song called 'Once Bitten, Twice Shy' from an album called Once Bitten (the follow-up album was called Twice Shy--oh those wacky Great White guys!). The only thing anybody remembers about White Lion is that they sang a crappy song called 'When the Children Cry', and disappeared into obscurity soon after that.
TAP QUOTIENT: 2
WARRANT: 'Big Bottom'. 'Sex Farm'. 'Cherry Pie'. What do these three songs have in common? Sexist, misogynist lyrics about women and sex written from what seems to be the point of view of a fifteen year-old zit-faced Burger King employee. But what makes 'Cherry Pie' different from the other two is that this was a song that saw actual wide release, and was even a Top Ten hit! 'Cherry Pie', an ode to oral sex, had a video that many believe is the worst music video of all time, beating the Wang Chung epileptic nightmare 'Everybody Have Fun Tonight' and even the Michael & Janet Jackson freak show 'Scream'. Set against a blinding white background, it's just the band singing their horrible song while huge, dripping wedges of cherry pie fall into the crotch of some jailbait-age blonde. Of course, today the lead singer says it was all meant as a joke.
TAP QUOTIENT: 2
TWISTED SISTER: Twisted Sister deserves a special mention because they took the Spinal Tap initiative and knowingly made a parody out of themselves. Take a look at their video for 'We're Not Gonna Take It'--it starred Niedermayer from Animal House, for chrissakes!
Though lead singer Dee Snider still continues to perform with his group Widowmaker, he looks back on his 80's career with humor, even hosting a weekly national radio show called 'The House of Hair'. Twisted Sister even appeared in Pee Wee's Big Adventure!
TAP QUOTIENT: 1
POISON: Forget everything else--look at the makeup!! Nigel, with his sparkly eyeshadow and cosmetically-enhanced chin cleft, would have fit in perfectly with Poison, especially in their Look What the Cat Dragged In period. Poison wavered back and forth between trying to be just another T&A hair band with such hits as the unforgettable 'Talk Dirty to Me' and 'Unskinny Bop', and serious artistes, with their biggest hit 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn'.
Nowadays, though they were one of the more popular groups during the heavy metal craze, Poison isn't doing much, though lead singer Bret Michaels (the one in the top left hand corner of the album cover at right) is trying to forge an acting career, and trying to live down the fact that he's not the only guy Pamela Anderson allowed herself to be videotaped having sex with.
TAP QUOTIENT: 5
And speaking of guys Pamela Anderson has been videotaped having sex with.......
MOTLEY CRUE: At first, Motley Crue jumped on that whole 'Satan Worship' bandwagon that groups like Black Sabbath and Slayer (which, if you read much of the graffiti that adorned high school walls in the 80's, supposedly stood for Satan Laughs As You Eternally Rot) started, having lots of "Satanic" stuff like flaming pentagrams and such, though their heavy makeup and and costumes were more reminiscent of KISS than Anton LaVey. Then they just became another teenage titfreak band, one of the only groups to actually include a shot of the requisite "chick flashing the band during a concert" right in one of their videos. Whether intentionally or not, Motley Crue became even more of a self-parody then Twisted Sister. They even had the umlaut in their name, just like Spinal Tap. Each one of the band members married former porno mag models (one of lead singer Vince Neil's exes was noted as a "professional mud wrestler), and all of them
have had run-ins with Johnny Law, for every offense from drunk driving to drummer Tommy Lee's favorite felony, spousal abuse. Again, like just about every other band on this list, Motley Crue hasn't been doing much lately. Guitarist Nikki Sixx is married to an "actress" on Baywatch. Tommy Lee, whose appeal to such surgically-enhanced stars as Heather Locklear and Pamela Anderson is exactly what you thought it was--an enormous schwartz (do you suppose there's an armadillo in his trousers?), is currently serving time for smacking Pam around while she was holding their seven week-old baby in her arms. Wonder what David and Jeannine are up to lately?
TAP QUOTIENT: 7
And now, without further ado, the heavy metal group I feel bears the most resemblance to Spinal Tap......
DEF LEPPARD: Not one good song. Not one good song! Even Motley Crue had 'Home Sweet Home', which was passable. But Def Leppard? Crap, crap, and more crap piled on to that crap. Spinal Tap isn't even a real band, and Def Leppard's songs still sound like second-rate version of them. Choose your poison--will it be 'Rock of Ages', 'Pour Some Sugar On Me', or 'Armageddon It'? For me, the worst of the bunch has to be 'Love Bites', a "power ballad"
that makes Poison's 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn' sound like Neil Young's 'Heart of Gold'. Another one of their songs, 'Rock It' (or 'Rocket', however the flock you spell it), sounds just like Tap's unforgettable 'Heavy Duty'. And, as far as I'm concerned, the lyrics to 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' were shamelessy inspired by 'Big Bottom' ("I'm gonna sink her with my pink torpedo", "I'm hot, sticky sweet, from my head to my feet"--can you tell the difference?). They even have a band member named Viv! But of course, the most obvious similarity between Def Leppard and Spinal Tap is the tragedy that has befallen its' drummers, or drummer, in Def Leppard's case. Drummer Rick Allen lost his arm in a car accident about ten years ago, but, apparently feeling the need to continue to participate in the world's suckingest heavy metal group, relearned to play the drums with his feet. While Allen's story could be considered inspiring, playing drums with his feet hasn't improved Def Leppard's music any. Then again, playing drums with his ass probably wouldn't improve Def Leppard's music, either. Still, his "feat" inspired a line in a song by the Bloodhound Gang-"the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm, the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm.....". And, losing an arm hasn't slowed Allen down that much. Like our old pal Tommy Lee, he was arrested a few years back for beating his wife. With one arm.
TAP QUOTIENT: a big fat 10
And then there's Metallica's all-black album cover a few years back........but I like Metallica, so I'm not going to get into that.
What heavy metal group do you believe most resembles Spinal Tap? Are there any groups I'm forgetting? Do you have anything to say in defense of the groups mentioned above? Please write me with your thoughts. Any opinions or suggestions will be posted!
FOR MORE COMPARISONS, GO TO THE DISCOGRAPHY!
BACK TO MAIN PAGE!
TAP QUOTIENT (how much this group resembles Spinal Tap, on a scale from 1-10): 6
JUDAS PRIEST: The only obvious resemblance between Judas Priest and Spinal Tap is that surely former Priest lead singer Rob Halford and Tap bassist Derek Smalls shop at the same store for their wardrobes. Rob Halford's clothing was adorned with so many chains and spikes that he should have worn a sign that read 'DO NOT BACK UP--SEVERE TIRE DAMAGE MAY RESULT'. And, Spinal Tap never got accused of writing music that influenced kids to commit suicide.
TAP QUOTIENT: 3
THE "WHITE" GROUPS (WHITESNAKE, GREAT WHITE, WHITE LION): No obvious resemblance between these groups and Spinal Tap, but just their names alone are testaments to the lack of creativity that permeated the heavy metal fad. Whitesnake sounded just like Led Zeppelin on a bad day, and had the added cheese bonus of former O.J. bimbo Tawny Kitaen star in a couple of their videos (she was the lead singer's girlfriend at the time). The only thing anybody remembers about Great White is that they sang a crappy song called 'Once Bitten, Twice Shy' from an album called Once Bitten (the follow-up album was called Twice Shy--oh those wacky Great White guys!). The only thing anybody remembers about White Lion is that they sang a crappy song called 'When the Children Cry', and disappeared into obscurity soon after that.
TAP QUOTIENT: 2
WARRANT: 'Big Bottom'. 'Sex Farm'. 'Cherry Pie'. What do these three songs have in common? Sexist, misogynist lyrics about women and sex written from what seems to be the point of view of a fifteen year-old zit-faced Burger King employee. But what makes 'Cherry Pie' different from the other two is that this was a song that saw actual wide release, and was even a Top Ten hit! 'Cherry Pie', an ode to oral sex, had a video that many believe is the worst music video of all time, beating the Wang Chung epileptic nightmare 'Everybody Have Fun Tonight' and even the Michael & Janet Jackson freak show 'Scream'. Set against a blinding white background, it's just the band singing their horrible song while huge, dripping wedges of cherry pie fall into the crotch of some jailbait-age blonde. Of course, today the lead singer says it was all meant as a joke.
TAP QUOTIENT: 2
TWISTED SISTER: Twisted Sister deserves a special mention because they took the Spinal Tap initiative and knowingly made a parody out of themselves. Take a look at their video for 'We're Not Gonna Take It'--it starred Niedermayer from Animal House, for chrissakes!
Though lead singer Dee Snider still continues to perform with his group Widowmaker, he looks back on his 80's career with humor, even hosting a weekly national radio show called 'The House of Hair'. Twisted Sister even appeared in Pee Wee's Big Adventure!
TAP QUOTIENT: 1
POISON: Forget everything else--look at the makeup!! Nigel, with his sparkly eyeshadow and cosmetically-enhanced chin cleft, would have fit in perfectly with Poison, especially in their Look What the Cat Dragged In period. Poison wavered back and forth between trying to be just another T&A hair band with such hits as the unforgettable 'Talk Dirty to Me' and 'Unskinny Bop', and serious artistes, with their biggest hit 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn'.
Nowadays, though they were one of the more popular groups during the heavy metal craze, Poison isn't doing much, though lead singer Bret Michaels (the one in the top left hand corner of the album cover at right) is trying to forge an acting career, and trying to live down the fact that he's not the only guy Pamela Anderson allowed herself to be videotaped having sex with.
TAP QUOTIENT: 5
And speaking of guys Pamela Anderson has been videotaped having sex with.......
MOTLEY CRUE: At first, Motley Crue jumped on that whole 'Satan Worship' bandwagon that groups like Black Sabbath and Slayer (which, if you read much of the graffiti that adorned high school walls in the 80's, supposedly stood for Satan Laughs As You Eternally Rot) started, having lots of "Satanic" stuff like flaming pentagrams and such, though their heavy makeup and and costumes were more reminiscent of KISS than Anton LaVey. Then they just became another teenage titfreak band, one of the only groups to actually include a shot of the requisite "chick flashing the band during a concert" right in one of their videos. Whether intentionally or not, Motley Crue became even more of a self-parody then Twisted Sister. They even had the umlaut in their name, just like Spinal Tap. Each one of the band members married former porno mag models (one of lead singer Vince Neil's exes was noted as a "professional mud wrestler), and all of them
have had run-ins with Johnny Law, for every offense from drunk driving to drummer Tommy Lee's favorite felony, spousal abuse. Again, like just about every other band on this list, Motley Crue hasn't been doing much lately. Guitarist Nikki Sixx is married to an "actress" on Baywatch. Tommy Lee, whose appeal to such surgically-enhanced stars as Heather Locklear and Pamela Anderson is exactly what you thought it was--an enormous schwartz (do you suppose there's an armadillo in his trousers?), is currently serving time for smacking Pam around while she was holding their seven week-old baby in her arms. Wonder what David and Jeannine are up to lately?
TAP QUOTIENT: 7
And now, without further ado, the heavy metal group I feel bears the most resemblance to Spinal Tap......
DEF LEPPARD: Not one good song. Not one good song! Even Motley Crue had 'Home Sweet Home', which was passable. But Def Leppard? Crap, crap, and more crap piled on to that crap. Spinal Tap isn't even a real band, and Def Leppard's songs still sound like second-rate version of them. Choose your poison--will it be 'Rock of Ages', 'Pour Some Sugar On Me', or 'Armageddon It'? For me, the worst of the bunch has to be 'Love Bites', a "power ballad"
that makes Poison's 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn' sound like Neil Young's 'Heart of Gold'. Another one of their songs, 'Rock It' (or 'Rocket', however the flock you spell it), sounds just like Tap's unforgettable 'Heavy Duty'. And, as far as I'm concerned, the lyrics to 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' were shamelessy inspired by 'Big Bottom' ("I'm gonna sink her with my pink torpedo", "I'm hot, sticky sweet, from my head to my feet"--can you tell the difference?). They even have a band member named Viv! But of course, the most obvious similarity between Def Leppard and Spinal Tap is the tragedy that has befallen its' drummers, or drummer, in Def Leppard's case. Drummer Rick Allen lost his arm in a car accident about ten years ago, but, apparently feeling the need to continue to participate in the world's suckingest heavy metal group, relearned to play the drums with his feet. While Allen's story could be considered inspiring, playing drums with his feet hasn't improved Def Leppard's music any. Then again, playing drums with his ass probably wouldn't improve Def Leppard's music, either. Still, his "feat" inspired a line in a song by the Bloodhound Gang-"the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm, the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm.....". And, losing an arm hasn't slowed Allen down that much. Like our old pal Tommy Lee, he was arrested a few years back for beating his wife. With one arm.
TAP QUOTIENT: a big fat 10
And then there's Metallica's all-black album cover a few years back........but I like Metallica, so I'm not going to get into that.
What heavy metal group do you believe most resembles Spinal Tap? Are there any groups I'm forgetting? Do you have anything to say in defense of the groups mentioned above? Please write me with your thoughts. Any opinions or suggestions will be posted!
FOR MORE COMPARISONS, GO TO THE DISCOGRAPHY!
BACK TO MAIN PAGE!
TAP QUOTIENT: 2
WARRANT: 'Big Bottom'. 'Sex Farm'. 'Cherry Pie'. What do these three songs have in common? Sexist, misogynist lyrics about women and sex written from what seems to be the point of view of a fifteen year-old zit-faced Burger King employee. But what makes 'Cherry Pie' different from the other two is that this was a song that saw actual wide release, and was even a Top Ten hit! 'Cherry Pie', an ode to oral sex, had a video that many believe is the worst music video of all time, beating the Wang Chung epileptic nightmare 'Everybody Have Fun Tonight' and even the Michael & Janet Jackson freak show 'Scream'. Set against a blinding white background, it's just the band singing their horrible song while huge, dripping wedges of cherry pie fall into the crotch of some jailbait-age blonde. Of course, today the lead singer says it was all meant as a joke.
TAP QUOTIENT: 2
TWISTED SISTER: Twisted Sister deserves a special mention because they took the Spinal Tap initiative and knowingly made a parody out of themselves. Take a look at their video for 'We're Not Gonna Take It'--it starred Niedermayer from Animal House, for chrissakes!
Though lead singer Dee Snider still continues to perform with his group Widowmaker, he looks back on his 80's career with humor, even hosting a weekly national radio show called 'The House of Hair'. Twisted Sister even appeared in Pee Wee's Big Adventure!
TAP QUOTIENT: 1
POISON: Forget everything else--look at the makeup!! Nigel, with his sparkly eyeshadow and cosmetically-enhanced chin cleft, would have fit in perfectly with Poison, especially in their Look What the Cat Dragged In period. Poison wavered back and forth between trying to be just another T&A hair band with such hits as the unforgettable 'Talk Dirty to Me' and 'Unskinny Bop', and serious artistes, with their biggest hit 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn'.
Nowadays, though they were one of the more popular groups during the heavy metal craze, Poison isn't doing much, though lead singer Bret Michaels (the one in the top left hand corner of the album cover at right) is trying to forge an acting career, and trying to live down the fact that he's not the only guy Pamela Anderson allowed herself to be videotaped having sex with.
TAP QUOTIENT: 5
And speaking of guys Pamela Anderson has been videotaped having sex with.......
MOTLEY CRUE: At first, Motley Crue jumped on that whole 'Satan Worship' bandwagon that groups like Black Sabbath and Slayer (which, if you read much of the graffiti that adorned high school walls in the 80's, supposedly stood for Satan Laughs As You Eternally Rot) started, having lots of "Satanic" stuff like flaming pentagrams and such, though their heavy makeup and and costumes were more reminiscent of KISS than Anton LaVey. Then they just became another teenage titfreak band, one of the only groups to actually include a shot of the requisite "chick flashing the band during a concert" right in one of their videos. Whether intentionally or not, Motley Crue became even more of a self-parody then Twisted Sister. They even had the umlaut in their name, just like Spinal Tap. Each one of the band members married former porno mag models (one of lead singer Vince Neil's exes was noted as a "professional mud wrestler), and all of them
have had run-ins with Johnny Law, for every offense from drunk driving to drummer Tommy Lee's favorite felony, spousal abuse. Again, like just about every other band on this list, Motley Crue hasn't been doing much lately. Guitarist Nikki Sixx is married to an "actress" on Baywatch. Tommy Lee, whose appeal to such surgically-enhanced stars as Heather Locklear and Pamela Anderson is exactly what you thought it was--an enormous schwartz (do you suppose there's an armadillo in his trousers?), is currently serving time for smacking Pam around while she was holding their seven week-old baby in her arms. Wonder what David and Jeannine are up to lately?
TAP QUOTIENT: 7
And now, without further ado, the heavy metal group I feel bears the most resemblance to Spinal Tap......
DEF LEPPARD: Not one good song. Not one good song! Even Motley Crue had 'Home Sweet Home', which was passable. But Def Leppard? Crap, crap, and more crap piled on to that crap. Spinal Tap isn't even a real band, and Def Leppard's songs still sound like second-rate version of them. Choose your poison--will it be 'Rock of Ages', 'Pour Some Sugar On Me', or 'Armageddon It'? For me, the worst of the bunch has to be 'Love Bites', a "power ballad"
that makes Poison's 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn' sound like Neil Young's 'Heart of Gold'. Another one of their songs, 'Rock It' (or 'Rocket', however the flock you spell it), sounds just like Tap's unforgettable 'Heavy Duty'. And, as far as I'm concerned, the lyrics to 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' were shamelessy inspired by 'Big Bottom' ("I'm gonna sink her with my pink torpedo", "I'm hot, sticky sweet, from my head to my feet"--can you tell the difference?). They even have a band member named Viv! But of course, the most obvious similarity between Def Leppard and Spinal Tap is the tragedy that has befallen its' drummers, or drummer, in Def Leppard's case. Drummer Rick Allen lost his arm in a car accident about ten years ago, but, apparently feeling the need to continue to participate in the world's suckingest heavy metal group, relearned to play the drums with his feet. While Allen's story could be considered inspiring, playing drums with his feet hasn't improved Def Leppard's music any. Then again, playing drums with his ass probably wouldn't improve Def Leppard's music, either. Still, his "feat" inspired a line in a song by the Bloodhound Gang-"the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm, the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm.....". And, losing an arm hasn't slowed Allen down that much. Like our old pal Tommy Lee, he was arrested a few years back for beating his wife. With one arm.
TAP QUOTIENT: a big fat 10
And then there's Metallica's all-black album cover a few years back........but I like Metallica, so I'm not going to get into that.
What heavy metal group do you believe most resembles Spinal Tap? Are there any groups I'm forgetting? Do you have anything to say in defense of the groups mentioned above? Please write me with your thoughts. Any opinions or suggestions will be posted!
FOR MORE COMPARISONS, GO TO THE DISCOGRAPHY!
BACK TO MAIN PAGE!
Though lead singer Dee Snider still continues to perform with his group Widowmaker, he looks back on his 80's career with humor, even hosting a weekly national radio show called 'The House of Hair'. Twisted Sister even appeared in Pee Wee's Big Adventure!TAP QUOTIENT: 1
POISON: Forget everything else--look at the makeup!! Nigel, with his sparkly eyeshadow and cosmetically-enhanced chin cleft, would have fit in perfectly with Poison, especially in their Look What the Cat Dragged In period. Poison wavered back and forth between trying to be just another T&A hair band with such hits as the unforgettable 'Talk Dirty to Me' and 'Unskinny Bop', and serious artistes, with their biggest hit 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn'.
Nowadays, though they were one of the more popular groups during the heavy metal craze, Poison isn't doing much, though lead singer Bret Michaels (the one in the top left hand corner of the album cover at right) is trying to forge an acting career, and trying to live down the fact that he's not the only guy Pamela Anderson allowed herself to be videotaped having sex with.
TAP QUOTIENT: 5
And speaking of guys Pamela Anderson has been videotaped having sex with.......
MOTLEY CRUE: At first, Motley Crue jumped on that whole 'Satan Worship' bandwagon that groups like Black Sabbath and Slayer (which, if you read much of the graffiti that adorned high school walls in the 80's, supposedly stood for Satan Laughs As You Eternally Rot) started, having lots of "Satanic" stuff like flaming pentagrams and such, though their heavy makeup and and costumes were more reminiscent of KISS than Anton LaVey. Then they just became another teenage titfreak band, one of the only groups to actually include a shot of the requisite "chick flashing the band during a concert" right in one of their videos. Whether intentionally or not, Motley Crue became even more of a self-parody then Twisted Sister. They even had the umlaut in their name, just like Spinal Tap. Each one of the band members married former porno mag models (one of lead singer Vince Neil's exes was noted as a "professional mud wrestler), and all of them
have had run-ins with Johnny Law, for every offense from drunk driving to drummer Tommy Lee's favorite felony, spousal abuse. Again, like just about every other band on this list, Motley Crue hasn't been doing much lately. Guitarist Nikki Sixx is married to an "actress" on Baywatch. Tommy Lee, whose appeal to such surgically-enhanced stars as Heather Locklear and Pamela Anderson is exactly what you thought it was--an enormous schwartz (do you suppose there's an armadillo in his trousers?), is currently serving time for smacking Pam around while she was holding their seven week-old baby in her arms. Wonder what David and Jeannine are up to lately?
TAP QUOTIENT: 7
And now, without further ado, the heavy metal group I feel bears the most resemblance to Spinal Tap......
DEF LEPPARD: Not one good song. Not one good song! Even Motley Crue had 'Home Sweet Home', which was passable. But Def Leppard? Crap, crap, and more crap piled on to that crap. Spinal Tap isn't even a real band, and Def Leppard's songs still sound like second-rate version of them. Choose your poison--will it be 'Rock of Ages', 'Pour Some Sugar On Me', or 'Armageddon It'? For me, the worst of the bunch has to be 'Love Bites', a "power ballad"
that makes Poison's 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn' sound like Neil Young's 'Heart of Gold'. Another one of their songs, 'Rock It' (or 'Rocket', however the flock you spell it), sounds just like Tap's unforgettable 'Heavy Duty'. And, as far as I'm concerned, the lyrics to 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' were shamelessy inspired by 'Big Bottom' ("I'm gonna sink her with my pink torpedo", "I'm hot, sticky sweet, from my head to my feet"--can you tell the difference?). They even have a band member named Viv! But of course, the most obvious similarity between Def Leppard and Spinal Tap is the tragedy that has befallen its' drummers, or drummer, in Def Leppard's case. Drummer Rick Allen lost his arm in a car accident about ten years ago, but, apparently feeling the need to continue to participate in the world's suckingest heavy metal group, relearned to play the drums with his feet. While Allen's story could be considered inspiring, playing drums with his feet hasn't improved Def Leppard's music any. Then again, playing drums with his ass probably wouldn't improve Def Leppard's music, either. Still, his "feat" inspired a line in a song by the Bloodhound Gang-"the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm, the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm.....". And, losing an arm hasn't slowed Allen down that much. Like our old pal Tommy Lee, he was arrested a few years back for beating his wife. With one arm.
TAP QUOTIENT: a big fat 10
And then there's Metallica's all-black album cover a few years back........but I like Metallica, so I'm not going to get into that.
What heavy metal group do you believe most resembles Spinal Tap? Are there any groups I'm forgetting? Do you have anything to say in defense of the groups mentioned above? Please write me with your thoughts. Any opinions or suggestions will be posted!
FOR MORE COMPARISONS, GO TO THE DISCOGRAPHY!
BACK TO MAIN PAGE!
And speaking of guys Pamela Anderson has been videotaped having sex with.......
MOTLEY CRUE: At first, Motley Crue jumped on that whole 'Satan Worship' bandwagon that groups like Black Sabbath and Slayer (which, if you read much of the graffiti that adorned high school walls in the 80's, supposedly stood for Satan Laughs As You Eternally Rot) started, having lots of "Satanic" stuff like flaming pentagrams and such, though their heavy makeup and and costumes were more reminiscent of KISS than Anton LaVey. Then they just became another teenage titfreak band, one of the only groups to actually include a shot of the requisite "chick flashing the band during a concert" right in one of their videos. Whether intentionally or not, Motley Crue became even more of a self-parody then Twisted Sister. They even had the umlaut in their name, just like Spinal Tap. Each one of the band members married former porno mag models (one of lead singer Vince Neil's exes was noted as a "professional mud wrestler), and all of them
have had run-ins with Johnny Law, for every offense from drunk driving to drummer Tommy Lee's favorite felony, spousal abuse. Again, like just about every other band on this list, Motley Crue hasn't been doing much lately. Guitarist Nikki Sixx is married to an "actress" on Baywatch. Tommy Lee, whose appeal to such surgically-enhanced stars as Heather Locklear and Pamela Anderson is exactly what you thought it was--an enormous schwartz (do you suppose there's an armadillo in his trousers?), is currently serving time for smacking Pam around while she was holding their seven week-old baby in her arms. Wonder what David and Jeannine are up to lately?
TAP QUOTIENT: 7
And now, without further ado, the heavy metal group I feel bears the most resemblance to Spinal Tap......
DEF LEPPARD: Not one good song. Not one good song! Even Motley Crue had 'Home Sweet Home', which was passable. But Def Leppard? Crap, crap, and more crap piled on to that crap. Spinal Tap isn't even a real band, and Def Leppard's songs still sound like second-rate version of them. Choose your poison--will it be 'Rock of Ages', 'Pour Some Sugar On Me', or 'Armageddon It'? For me, the worst of the bunch has to be 'Love Bites', a "power ballad"
that makes Poison's 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn' sound like Neil Young's 'Heart of Gold'. Another one of their songs, 'Rock It' (or 'Rocket', however the flock you spell it), sounds just like Tap's unforgettable 'Heavy Duty'. And, as far as I'm concerned, the lyrics to 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' were shamelessy inspired by 'Big Bottom' ("I'm gonna sink her with my pink torpedo", "I'm hot, sticky sweet, from my head to my feet"--can you tell the difference?). They even have a band member named Viv! But of course, the most obvious similarity between Def Leppard and Spinal Tap is the tragedy that has befallen its' drummers, or drummer, in Def Leppard's case. Drummer Rick Allen lost his arm in a car accident about ten years ago, but, apparently feeling the need to continue to participate in the world's suckingest heavy metal group, relearned to play the drums with his feet. While Allen's story could be considered inspiring, playing drums with his feet hasn't improved Def Leppard's music any. Then again, playing drums with his ass probably wouldn't improve Def Leppard's music, either. Still, his "feat" inspired a line in a song by the Bloodhound Gang-"the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm, the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm.....". And, losing an arm hasn't slowed Allen down that much. Like our old pal Tommy Lee, he was arrested a few years back for beating his wife. With one arm.
TAP QUOTIENT: a big fat 10
And then there's Metallica's all-black album cover a few years back........but I like Metallica, so I'm not going to get into that.
What heavy metal group do you believe most resembles Spinal Tap? Are there any groups I'm forgetting? Do you have anything to say in defense of the groups mentioned above? Please write me with your thoughts. Any opinions or suggestions will be posted!
FOR MORE COMPARISONS, GO TO THE DISCOGRAPHY!
BACK TO MAIN PAGE!
DEF LEPPARD: Not one good song. Not one good song! Even Motley Crue had 'Home Sweet Home', which was passable. But Def Leppard? Crap, crap, and more crap piled on to that crap. Spinal Tap isn't even a real band, and Def Leppard's songs still sound like second-rate version of them. Choose your poison--will it be 'Rock of Ages', 'Pour Some Sugar On Me', or 'Armageddon It'? For me, the worst of the bunch has to be 'Love Bites', a "power ballad"
that makes Poison's 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn' sound like Neil Young's 'Heart of Gold'. Another one of their songs, 'Rock It' (or 'Rocket', however the flock you spell it), sounds just like Tap's unforgettable 'Heavy Duty'. And, as far as I'm concerned, the lyrics to 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' were shamelessy inspired by 'Big Bottom' ("I'm gonna sink her with my pink torpedo", "I'm hot, sticky sweet, from my head to my feet"--can you tell the difference?). They even have a band member named Viv! But of course, the most obvious similarity between Def Leppard and Spinal Tap is the tragedy that has befallen its' drummers, or drummer, in Def Leppard's case. Drummer Rick Allen lost his arm in a car accident about ten years ago, but, apparently feeling the need to continue to participate in the world's suckingest heavy metal group, relearned to play the drums with his feet. While Allen's story could be considered inspiring, playing drums with his feet hasn't improved Def Leppard's music any. Then again, playing drums with his ass probably wouldn't improve Def Leppard's music, either. Still, his "feat" inspired a line in a song by the Bloodhound Gang-"the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm, the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm.....". And, losing an arm hasn't slowed Allen down that much. Like our old pal Tommy Lee, he was arrested a few years back for beating his wife. With one arm.
TAP QUOTIENT: a big fat 10
And then there's Metallica's all-black album cover a few years back........but I like Metallica, so I'm not going to get into that.
What heavy metal group do you believe most resembles Spinal Tap? Are there any groups I'm forgetting? Do you have anything to say in defense of the groups mentioned above? Please write me with your thoughts. Any opinions or suggestions will be posted!
FOR MORE COMPARISONS, GO TO THE DISCOGRAPHY!
BACK TO MAIN PAGE!
What heavy metal group do you believe most resembles Spinal Tap? Are there any groups I'm forgetting? Do you have anything to say in defense of the groups mentioned above? Please write me with your thoughts. Any opinions or suggestions will be posted!
FOR MORE COMPARISONS, GO TO THE DISCOGRAPHY!
BACK TO MAIN PAGE!
BACK TO MAIN PAGE!