SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T GET IT

READ ABOUT THE BOOK THAT NAMED 'THIS IS SPINAL TAP' AS ONE OF THE WORST ROCK 'N ROLL MOVIES


I'm one of those strange people that likes reading books of lists, like David Letterman's Top Ten Book, The Guinness Book of Lists, and of course, The Book of Lists. So when I bought The New Book of Rock Lists (copyright 1994 by Dave Marsh and James Bernard), I was hoping to find a book of interesting rock 'n roll trivia, presented in easy-to-read list format.


What I didn't expect to find was a rap-friendly 600 page book of these two guys' opinions about rock 'n roll (which makes one wonder why so much emphasis is placed on rap), including numerous slams against such influential groups as Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, and U2. The two authors fawn so much over rap ("Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's not music"), it's a good thing Sean "Puffy" Combs wasn't famous at the time this book was written, otherwise there probably would have been an extra 200 pages devoted just to him.


There are some interesting lists in the book, but, ironically, most of those are from other sources, such as a list of Beatles trivia reprinted from a British fan magazine in 1965 (where you can learn that the Beatles were asked to take part in a business where their bath water would be bottled and sold for a dollar). Most of the book, however, consists of pithy comments about not only the previously mentioned Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, and U2. Take for instance, a list entitled 'Shuddafuccup!' (yet another rap reference), in which the authors declare who in the music industry, should, well, shuddafucup. The list includes Bono, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Bob Dylan, Mick Jagger, James Brown, Lou Reed, Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders, Paul Simon, Prince, Neil Young (they blame him for Kurt Cobain's suicide), Michael Stipe, George Clinton, and Bruce Springsteen. You'll note however, that the authors do not suggest that such erudite performers as Chuck D, Flavor Flav, and Sister Souljah should follow suit.


If Messrs. Marsh and Bernard wanted to write a book about their opinions, they shouldn't have presented the book as just a list of trivia (and, damn it, they should have given a reason why Les Claypool placed 23rd, Flea placed 30th, and Geddy Lee placed second to last on their list of the top 50 bass players of all time!). Well, at least they rightfully named Jimi Hendrix as the number one guitar player of all time.


The most shocking list to be found in The New Book of Rock Lists is their 'Worst Rock and Rap Movies' list. Placing 7th out of 33 is, yes, 'This is Spinal Tap'! They actually placed 'This is Spinal Tap' on the same list as such other "films" as Lambada, Disorderlies, Breakin' 2:Electric Boogaloo, and the godawful 70's version of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band! 'Spinal Tap' actually placed above (or below, depending on how you look at it) Xanadu, Can't Stop the Music, and Under the Cherry Moon!


Now, this leads one to question--did the authors believe 'Spinal Tap' to be an authentic documentary, and subsequently gave it the thumbs down for its' content? Or did they understand that it was supposed to be funny, but didn't find it humorous? Or, worst of all, they knew it was supposed to be a satire, but didn't appreciate their precious rock 'n roll being made fun of? If that's the case, one wonders what Marsh and Bernard thought of Fear of a Black Hat (1993), the very funny satire that takes a 'Spinal Tap' approach to rap.


Anyway, for those who are interested, here is the list in its' entirety, followed by their 'Best Rock and Rap Movies' list. Titles marked with a "*" are films I have seen.


WORST ROCK AND RAP MOVIES
1.) Lambada (1990)
2.) Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978)*
3.) Disorderlies (1987)*
4.) The Horror of Party Beach (1964)
5.) Renaldo and Clara (1978)
6.) The Song Remains the Same (1976)*
7.)This is Spinal Tap (1984)*
8.) Celebration at Big Sur (1971)
9.) Breakin' 2:Electric Boogaloo (1984)
10.) Xanadu (1980)*
11.) Can't Stop the Music (1980)*
12.) Bye Bye Birdie (1963)*
13.) Who's the Man? (1993)
14.) A Star is Born (1976)
15.) The Rose (1979)*
16.) Riot on Sunset Strip (1967)
17.) House Party 2 (1991)
18.) Roadie (1980)
19.) Journey Through the Past (1973)
20.) Sympathy For the Devil (One Plus One) (1970)
21.) Thank God it's Friday (1978)*
22.) The Doors (1991)*
23.) Tommy (1975)*
24.) Americathon (1979)
25.) It's Trad, Dad (1962)
26.) Rude Boy (1980)
27.) Ladies and Gentlemen, the Rolling Stones (1975)
28.) FM (1978)
29.) Rust Never Sleeps (1979)
30.) Sparkle (1976)
31.) The Blues Brothers (1980)*
32.) Under the Cherry Moon (1986)*
33.) Beat Street (1984)

BEST ROCK AND RAP MOVIES
1.) Purple Rain (1984)*
2.) Truth or Dare (1991)
3.) Wild Style (1982)
4.) Stop Making Sense (1984)
5.) Superfly (1982)
6.) King Creole (1958)
7.) The Great Rock 'n Roll Swindle (1980)
8.) Don't Look Back (1967)
9.) A Hard Day's Night (1964)
10.) The T.A.M.I. Show (1965)
11.) The Girl Can't Help It (1956)
12.) The Harder They Come (1972)
13.) Monterey Pop (1968)
14.) Privilege (1967)
15.) O Lucky Man (1973)
16.) The Buddy Holly Story (1978)*
17.) Performance (1970)
18.) Krush Groove (1985)
19.) Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970)
20.) Wild in the Streets (1968)
21.) The Kids Are Alright (1979)
22.) The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: the Metal Years (1988)
23.) Saturday Night Fever (1977)*
24.) Woodstock (1970)*
25.) The Last Waltz (1978)
26.) Jailhouse Rock (1957)
27.) American Hot Wax (1978)*
28.) Mister Rock and Roll (1957)
29.) Having a Wild Weekend (1965)
30.) Shake, Rattle, and R-O-C-K (1956)
31.) That'll Be the Day (1974)
32.) The Decline of Western Civilization (1981)
33.) Yellow Submarine (1968)
34.) Tapeheads (1988)
35.) Wayne's World (1992)*

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