# 2: Telletubbie Bashing
Special thanks to my father, for giving me this idea.
# 2: Telletubbie Bashing
Special thanks to my father, for giving me
this idea.
I'm sure you've all heard by now that last week the Rev. Jerry Fallwell singled out one of the Telletubbies (I'm pretty sure that's who you spell it), one Tinky Winky, as being a gay role model for children. His evidence? Tink is purple (the gay pride color), has a triangle on his head (the gay pride symbol) and walks around with a purse.
A purse? Come now, Mr. Fallwell, surly you can come up with better evidence then that. I, for one, wouldn't mind a purse on occasion. It would be a real big help when I carry a gun to work. Do you have any idea how hard it is to fit a .45 semiautomatic into the pockets of a pair of Dockers Stone Washed Kakkies? To say nothing of Levi's 505 jeans.
But, past that, I find it quite normal for some purple, (blue, pink, and I think one of them is green) androgynous, rotund creature with a flat-panel display on it's stomach and a TV antenna protruding from it's head to carry a purse . . . or roll around on the ground in unison with others if its type giggling and making gurgling noises.
Go figure what bug crawled up Jerry's ass. I damned if I can.
Maybe its like my mother said: "Takes one to know one."
Seriously though, as a major religious leader, Jerry should recognize the Telletubbies for what they are: tools for alien domination. They must maintain constant communication with their alien masters, which is why they need the antenna protruding from their heads (and that explains the shape. Everybody knows that triangular antennas get the best reception). The TV screen serves in much the same manner for anyone viewing. As our children watch, insidious subliminal messages are flashed constantly into the vulnerable, docile, minds of America's 1 and 2 year-olds. Resistance IS futile. The mothership will come soon. Its all just a matter of time . . .
Besides, the Telletubbie I worry about is the green one. He has that big, pointed antenna sticking out of his head. Now that's a phallic symbol for ya.