or
Mail and stuff.
or
Mail and stuff.
What they have to say is in dark green
Courier, my responses, as always, are in bright red
Times New Roman. Chrsitmasy, don't you think?
Re:
"I hope everyone involved in this movie is sterilized. I want the writer shot. I want
Pyun shot. Matter of fact, I want 'em all shot! I hope they all die, and they go to hell!!
And Satan. I hope Satan takes his pitchfork and sticks it up their stupid asses!!! And
then I hope they burn in the deepest, darkest pits of hell forever and ever and ever!!!!
Amen."
Jeez, man, I wish you'd stop beating around the bush and just
tell us what you think.
-Freeman
You're *still* mad.
And proud of it, too.
Stumbled across your site today, and read your
"Nemesis" review. I think you were WAY too kind :-) to the people who made this
steaming pile of dog crap, especially Pyun. It sure hurt watching this movie, didn't it?
Oh well, you can now relax, now that you've done your token Albert Pyun movie. Look at the
bright side: you've saved people from watching Puyn's movies. That means they won't rent
them. Which means video stores will stop buying Pyun's movies. Which means Pyun will go
out of business! You've just saved humanity from more torture!!!!!!!
One last thing: any page that quotes from "The Unknown Movies" can't be bad at
all! Shows you have excellent taste....
"Greywizard"
The Unknown Movies
See? Other web critics think I have taste! All you Armageddon
fans'll have to eat your words now.
Geez, man. I just positively love your site. Especially
that review of 'Batman and Robin'. That just made me crack up. And since you seem to like
MST3K so much, well... there's an archive of nothing but MiSTings on the internet, except
that they take bad fan fiction, stories, spam, scripts, comics, prose, poems, etc. and
give the movie treatment. I think there's a copy of 'Batman and Robin' in there,
somewhere. Anyway, it's at (Doctor's note: for the URL
see the Links page) if that
doesn't work, look up 'Web Site Number 9 - Mistings Archive' in your favorite browser. (My
personal favorite MiSTing would have to be one of a Sailor Moon/Wrestling Crossover,
'Sailor Moon vs. the WWF'.) See you
later.
- Commander 'Keenies' Keen
P.S. I perfectly agree with you on that Star Wars, Ep 1 rebuttal of that
Newsweek reviewer for said movie.
Actually, MONSTER ZERO is a favorite
of mine, as it's goofy without getting stoopid like the later films. I recall reading that
Godzilla's dance was actually mimicking a dance craze that was sweeping Japan at the time.
So it's not the effect of a few bong hits before they shot the scene; it's topical humor
that makes about as much sense to us here in the West as the topical humor in
Shakespeare's plays; funny (perhaps) at the time, but completely lost on us now.
Kept meaning to tell you my reaction to ARMAGEDDON: After it was over, I said, "Gee,
that was just like THE GREEN SLIME, only without the Green Slime." I think my wife
hit me.
-Freeman
And to find out what he thought of The Green Slime click here.
BTW, this makes a very cute double feature with the 70s mystery spoof Murder
By Death.
--Brandi
Well, then, I might just have to try and hunt that one down.
Thanks for the contribution.
I'm not offended by your opinion of Seagal movies, especially ABOVE THE LAW. It's
a Constitutional right to spout off about a movie you think is awful and not have the
fashoion police down on your head. My opinion is that the movie was too subtle for you.
Seagal CAN act. What you see on the screen is NOT what you get in person.
--Best, Montana Blue
Uh, okay. I'm really not sure what that means, though. I'm reviewing what I see on the screen, not in person. From what I see on the screen Seagal displays all the emotion of a falling brick. Subtle? I'd use the word "dead" myself, but whatever.
You know only Americans would think of purple as being a "gay" colour
or the triangle as a "gay" symbol. This show is seen in 150 countries.Most other
countries no nothing of the garbage.
shaun miller
Tell that to Jerry Fallwell.
Two things about him:
1) Not *all* his movies are dreadful (the Poe ones are a lot of fun, and X! The Man
with X-ray Eyes is pretty good despite its cheapness)
and
2) Even if he's not good, he sure kickstarted the careers of many good directors (and a
few good actors, too).
Brandi Weed
Okay, (1) True (especially the part about X!) and (2) True. I think I was being a bit overly dramatic for the sake of comedy. Besides, Teenage Caveman really, really, really sucks.
I was both amazed and shocked to discover your review of KING KONG. Never in all
my days have I come across a review filled with more sheer idiocy. Judging from your
review your head must be as thick as a block of wood. Instead of offering any thoughtful
or useful criticism you resolve to complain about the dinosaurs, or Kong's height. I
suppose you would complain about the fact that Kong doesn't pull off all of Fay Wray's
clothes too? How anyone could rate that cheap BEAST FROM 20K FATHOMS rip-off, GODZILLA
above KING KONG is beyond me. You should really stop wasting other people's time with your
useless opinion.
-James Madison
Wow, um, sorry I dumped on your favorite monster movie. Had I known that you worshiped it I would never have criticized it so. I noticed that you didn't provide anything in defense of Kong ether, James. Instead you railed on me for not liking it. A note to you people out there in internet land: If you hate me and want to fight, at least give me a reason why I should think as you think. That way I can poke holes in your views and make you look like a fool in front of people.
Fair warning, though: he who disses Godzilla shall face my wrath.
I personally like rip-off squared. You may have stumbled onto a new
genre here, one that's primarily occupied by Italian movies (just how many ROAD WARRIOR
rips did we actually *need*?)
You're still mad,
-Freeman
That's Dr. Freex from The Bad Movie Report. He's the one who actually watches movies like Octaman, I Drink Your Blood, and Up From the Depths on a regular basis while sober. And he thinks I'm mad. He's right.
From the Jason and the
Argonauts review:
"Seams to me that ol' Ray has made a career out of taking credit for other people's
movies. I mean have you ever heard of Don Chaffey? He's the stiff who directed this movie.
Ever heard of Jan Read or Beverley Cross? Well we have them to thank for this movie since
they wrote the screenplay in the first place. No, this is a Ray Harryhausen movie. Jeez,
people complain about special effects being to important in today's movies but many times
Ray Harryhausen is the only person anyone can name from this movie's crew. "
I think the problem is that fellows like
Chaffey are solid, workmanlike types, like those character actors who you see in lots of
films and who give good performances,but you never remember their names.
Harryhausen, OTOH, has done solid work across quite a few films, and not been strongly
associated with any one director (like, say, composer Bernard Herrman and Alfred
Hitchcock).
-Brandi Weed
Okay, rant time. I agree with your analogy, but it just doesn't sit right with me. I've always had trouble with people not getting credit for work well done and when I hear "Ray Harryhausen movie" it makes me think about the writer the slaved away at his/her typewriter/computer and will never be IDed by the layperson, and to have the writer upstaged by the SPFX really gets my goat. Rant ends.
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