devil fish
Yes, here we go again. Back into the seedy waters of the Jaws rip off. Somewhere some writer and/or director saw how much $$ Steve Spielberg's movie made and suffered a major case of what Freudian psychology calls "Stevie envy". As a result of that Stevie envy said wannabe, try so hard to make their movie look exactly like its big budget big brother. And fail miserably.
Like the ultra disgusting Up From the Depths, Devil Fish suffers from that affliction in a BIG way. We begin on a boat in the middle of the waters (stop me if you've heard this one), where a Midwestern couple that looks disturbingly similar to a pair of stock characters from Up, are eaten by an unseen monster. Said unseen monster consists of one tendril that is waved around by an offstage hand while music plays in the background. And where have we heard that music before, class?
After a scene change we find ourselves in Florida. . .I think. Never mind that, now. Pitiful stock characters are rushing about. These stock characters consist of an Anorexic Darrel Hanna look alike as our Female Scientist, a Beer Swilling Mechanic (BSM), his Assistant, and our Evil Person.
Why am I not using the names of the characters or the actor's names you might ask? Simple: there isn't much info about Devil Fish in the Internet Movie Database, and even if there was, I doubt I would care enough to use it. This is one of those movies where I can't even be bothered to remember the characters names, instead I simply sit in my chair like a sack of potato's and wait. . .and wait. . .and wait for the movie to end.
And, eventually, it mercifully ends. The fish eats people, our "heros" try to stop it, and it turns out our Evil Person genetically created the Devil Fish to become a super weapon, but, much like the much worse giant monster movie, Reptilicus, we discover that the fish can self replicate simply be being wounded. You slice off a piece of the Devil Fish and all it will really do is grow a new Devil Fish. Eventually our "heros", with the help of every drunken redneck in Southern Florida, lure the fish into swamp and torch it with a giant bonfire. The end. Finally.
But then, this is a Jaws rip off so you already knew what the plot was going to be, didn't you?
Acting? What acting?
Script? What script?
Monster? What monster? In this category we run smack dab into another parallel with Up From the Depths. Both of these movies step in the same pile of dog crap when it comes to monsters. Both of them show about 3 seconds of the monster, then repeat that same shot. In those 3 seconds the Devil Fish manages to be about as scary as Octaman, Minya, son of Godzilla, or that chicken nosed Mutant Man from The Day the World Ended.
If your interested in trivia you might be interested to note that (a)Devil Fish is not a US production, its Italian, and (b)It appeared on Mystery Science Theater 3000. This would explain its quality, or lack thereof, since the Best Brains manage to pick only the worst of the worst.
And without their smart ass comments there is no reason on earth, and not crime you could commit, that would cause you to watch this movie. Unless, of course, you've dedicated yourself to reviewing ever movie ever made.
Maybe Dr. Freex is right, maybe I am mad.
RATING (OUT OF A POSSIBLE FIVE)
I HAVE GOT TO STOP WATCHING JAWS RIP OFFS.