REVIEW DATE:5:4:9:9

About halfway through the movie Godzilla confronts his opponent, defeats that opponent handedly, and then does one of the most ludicrous things a giant monster has ever done: he performs a victory dance.

Just about then I ht my VCR's "stop" button, threw my hands into the air and yelled, "That's it, screw this movie. A dancing Godzilla is where I draw the line."

Of course I gave myself a pep talk and reminded me that, in order to give a fair and unbiased review; I had to watch the whole movie from start to finish. So back I went, dedicated to finishing Godzilla vs. Monster Zero, and bringing a quality movie review to you, my happy fans. Both of you.

Long before Godzilla himself was born Toho (G's production company) always seamed to be fond of making alien invasion movies. I'll tell you some of my Japanese Alien Invasion movie horror stories soon enough. Apparently, someone in Toho thought up the bright idea of combining a Godzilla movie with an alien invasion movie. "Now that will make some cash," they obviously thought. To that end, G vs. MZ combines elements of your standard Godzilla movie with elements of your standard alien invasion movie to create the first in a long string of strange hybrids.

Beginning (as all Japanese Alien Invasion movies do) in the far-flung future (which looks surprisingly like the 1960s) a mysterious 10 planet is discovered near Jupiter. This planet, Planet X (they're almost always named "Planet X") is fairly large and how it went unnoticed in our solar system for so long is explained somewhat. The explanation just doesn't hold that much water.

Neither, in fact, does Planet X. A water shortage is the least of their problems, however. Ghidorah, last seen in the last Godzilla movie, periodically swoops out of the sky and blasts stuff. The aliens make an offer to astronauts Glen (Nick Adams) and Fuji (Akira Takarada, in his third Godzilla movie): if Planet X can "borrow" Godzilla and Rodan, the Xians will give earth a "miracle drug that will cure all disease." Sweet!

Sound to good too be true? That's 'cuz it is. Turns out the Xians have been the ones controlling Ghidorah all along, and now they have control of Godzilla and Rodan. What are they going to do with these monsters? The same thing we do with them every night, Pinky: Try to take over THE WORLD!!"

After you've watched the movie just imagine one of the Xians saying that.

It is my personal belief that Godzilla vs. Monster Zero began Godzilla's slide into silliness. Once the Big G got in the habit of saving the world, he would do little else. Here he and Rodan are in goffie monster mode from the moment they show up (a full hour into the movie). I mentioned the victory dance, and believe me, that is most defiantly a warning of what is to come.

Here's a warning: no matter what I say about this movie, I'll probably end every sentence with the words for a giant monster movie from the 1960s. The acting is good for a giant monster movie from the 1960s. The monsters (re: special effects) are good for a giant monster movie from the 1960s. Everything I said about Ghidorah the Three-Headed Monster goes double for this movie, though I think the acting here is better.

Not much better, but you take your victories where you can get 'em.

One thing, though: this movie also began one of the most odious trends in monster movie history. Two words: stock footage, the practice of grafting footage from a previously made film, instead of shooting new scenes. If you've seen Rodan or Ghidorah, then you're definitely going to have deja-vú.

Do I recommend this movie to your average Joe? No. Your average Godzilla fan? Sure, why not. You'd better be mighty liberal, though, or the urge to turn of the TV might be overwhelming.

RATING (OUT OF A POSSIBLE FIVE)

NOT BAD FOR A MONSTER MOVIE FROM THE 1960s.