REVIEW DATE:3:12:9:9
REVIEW DATE:3:12:9:9
The thing about movie critics that really pisses me off some times is the fact that, once they find a good movie, any movie that shares even the most miniscule detail with said good movie is thus dismissed as a rip-off. Yes, yes, I've done this myself, but I make sure to actually see the movie before I dismiss it as a rip-off.
With The Relic the general tone among most of the critics that I read was "Oh, well, its another Alien rip-off, so don't waste your cash." WRONG, dog breath! Simply because the movie has a monster stalking and killing people through dark hallways is no reason to just dismiss the damn thing, especially when you consider all the original concepts and ideas it sprinkles liberally through it's 110 minuets.
Not the least of those is the monster itself. Clocking in at about 4 feet tall, this four footed sucker is named the Kothoga, a god/biological weapon of an ancient Amazon tribe. "Biological weapon," you wonder, "how could an Amazon tribe use a monster as a weapon?"
Well, I'm glad you asked. Kothoga, you see, feeds off a plant that is packed with hormones. Unfortunately (at least for the tribe's enemies) those hormones are also given off by the human brain. Once the natives stopped feeding it Kothoga would go off brain hunting.
And that's just what happens in Chicago's museum of natural history. A few days before the opening of a new exhibit on superstition a guard is killed while smoking in the boy's room. Yes, indeed he was smoking in the boy's room. It was a joint too. And we all know that joints are bad, you shouldn't smoke joints or a giant monster will rip out your brain and eat it, okay?
Enter Lt. D'Agosta, Chicago homicide (Tom Sizemore). Under orders from the mayor ("I don't give a rat's ass if a brain eating monster on the lose, the show must go on!") he crawls around some darkly lit caves in search of our beastie. Along for the ride is our scientist (hey, the movie takes place in a museum, so there has to be at least one of them) Dr. Margo Green (Penelope Ann Miller), who is the person that must figure out what is going on for all the other stupid characters as corpses with severed heads and sucked out brains keep popping up left and right.
Lt. D'Agosta
tries to delay the opening, but its nothing doing. So here we have the pride and joy of
the city in a very big place with a brain eating monster. Sounds like the perfect recipe
for chaos to me. Soon we are left with D'Agosta, Margo, and James Whitmore of all people
vs. a very hungry Kothoga.
To say The Relic is original is redundant. I know there will be a few of you in the audience who will go the way of the professional critic and say "Oh, its just Alien in a museum," but damnit, that's just not true! To start with Kothoga doesn't look a thing like Alien. When you finally get to see it the monster looks damn good, and is quite logical if you're talking about a creature that slices off heads. The only real complaint I have is that the CGI in a few scenes near the end of the movie looks a bit to obvious for my taste. Past that, though, the Kothoga is some monster, and worth the wait. You special effects junkies will be glad to know that here be Stan (da man) Winston on those FX.
Another reason he's worth the wait is the capacious amount of gore through out the movie. We have severed heads, severed limbs, and even more severed heads. All nice and gruesome too. Thanks, movie.
Acting, for
it's part, is better then it has to be. No, none of the performances are Oscar caliber
(I'm pissed at the Oscars anyway, Siskel always said they could be bought and sold) but
that doesn't really matter. Miller is above average for her part, since she does something
more then just stand around and scream. She also has good chemistry with Sizemore and
Whitman, both of which are good in there respective roles. However none of these
characters are completely explored or developed, which seams to become my mantra lately.
However, I was greatly entertained by Relic. Taking a page from "The Official How to Get Your Audience Into a Monster Movie Handbook" the movie doesn't show you the monster until late in the proceedings, which helps build some great suspense. Even the darkest of scenes is directed well by Peter Hyams, and a special congratulatory back slapping must go out to Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child for writing a good book that could be turned into such a good, fun movie.
RATING (OUT OF A POSSIBLE FIVE)
MAYBE THERE'S HOPE FOR ALIEN RIP-OFFS AFTER ALL.