by Jera
RECAP: Lucky walked into the bathroom while Liz just finished her shower with only a towel on. Later they embraced in a passionate kiss that caused Lucky to make sure Liz left his room before anything further happened.
It had been a long night. Liz hadn't been able to sleep at all. She kept going back to that kiss she shared with Lucky that evening. Lucky's reaction to it was unexpected. Liz had been confused herself. Was that kiss a tad too much for the both of them? Perhaps Lucky was wise to have insisted that she leave his room. She had thought the idea of being so intimate with someone would be unthinkable, yet last night, she was not sure she would have thought of anything but Lucky's kiss and touch. She couldn't imagine what went through Lucky's mind if it had stirred her insides so much. He was a healthy young man, who was going through puberty nonetheless. Liz shook her head. She had paid way too much attention in Sex-ed. Yet the truth remained that Lucky and her had come to that point of their relationship where they needed to decide whether or not they wanted the same kind of progress. She was horrified at that thought. What would happened if she and Lucky had different ideas about where they would go from now on? Her reaction to Lucky last night certainly didn't indicate someone who was afraid of getting close. But she wasn't sure she was ready to get that close to Lucky even if she was not scared. She thought about how she had tried to stop Sarah and Nikolas from taking it to the next level. She smiled at the memory of that night. Lucky was certainly a little irritated when he found out what he had gone along in the car for. He had originally thought Sarah's life was in danger. He had insisted that it would not have been their choice to make as to whether or not Sarah took the next step with Nikolas. Lucky would certainly respect her choice if he had respected Sarah's right to make her own choice. But Liz's choice would involve Lucky in this case. That's the difference. Liz sighed. What had she gotten herself into falling in love with Lucky? She wanted to be with him, but she didn't know if it would be right for them to take their relationship farther. How far is too far? They do love each other, but they were also 16 years old. It didn't matter what all the other kids from school were doing. It only mattered to her that she wanted to do everything right with Lucky. She wanted to be with Lucky forever, and she was sure they would. She would hate to ruin everything by going too far, too fast. No matter how much they both wanted to.
Liz had been thinking these things over and over again. By the time she got dressed and went down stairs, it was already 10 on a Sunday morning. Lucky was no where to be found. Maybe it was good that Lucky was gone. More than likely he went to the bike shop even though it wasn't opened on Sunday. They needed time to think some things through, she thought. She trod into the kitchen, grabbed a bagel, sat down on the chair, and looked around. She missed Lucky. She missed him miserably.
Lucky had decided to go into the Bike shop early after tossing and turning all night. He hadn't been able to get that kiss out of his mind. Nor could he forget how good it had felt to run his hands up and down Liz's back, feeling her curve through that thin fabric. He cursed himself for the thousandth time. He had wanted more than a kiss from Liz. He had had to use all the will power in him to push Liz out of his room. He was scared of himself. He was scared for Liz. He of all people should know that Liz needed all the time in the world before she would even consider giving herself to him any more than she already did. Hell, he'd told her that he would never push her to do anything she wasn't ready for! It didn't matter that he was sure Liz felt the same thing he did last night. He knew she wasn't ready for anything more. She couldn't. The truth be told, he wasn't sure he was ready himself. Those damn hormones! He turned the bolt on the carburetor to where it needed to be with the torque wrench, and threw the wrench on the floor.
Yes, he, Lucky Spencer, was terrified of the thought of getting too close to Liz. He would be the one to erase all the bad memories for Liz. He would be the one that would have to make Liz realize that intimacy could be wonderful between two people. He thought of the talk he'd had with Laura when she told him that she was pregnant with Lulu. Laura had made sure Lucky understood the differences between making love and having sex. She had made sure Lucky understood that making love to someone he loved would be the most wonderful feeling in the world. It would not just be about sex. It would be about two people wanting to be as close to each other as they could possibly get. Body and soul. What she didn't tell him was how he was going to make it better if the person he loved had had such a horrible encounter with physical intimacy. No matter how much he loved Liz, he was still not sure if he had the ability to show Liz everything that is amazing and wonderful about being one with the person you loved most in the world. He only knew about those things in theory, and from sex-ed. Maybe a few magazines that Sly was hiding under his mattress. He couldn't possibly know anything about making love from those! He picked up the rag and started to clean the carburetor he had just adjusted. He had come in today so he wouldn't have to face Liz right away, and wouldn't be thinking about it. He was going to get to work; it didn't matter that he might not even get paid for this.
Just then, he jerked up his head at the sharp sound of tools hitting the ground. Nikolas had walked in from the back door. He held up both hands as a gesture to apologize for bumping the tools off the work bench.
Lucky: I didn't expect to see you here today.
Nik: Neither did I. I called your house. Elizabeth said you were probably here.
Lucky silently looked at Nikolas for a moment at the mention of Liz's name. He looked down at the rag in his hand before he spoke.
Lucky: Elizabeth answered the phone?
Nik: ( sitting down on a chair) Yeah, she did. What's this all about?
Lucky: What's what all about?
Nik: This. You. And Elizabeth. She sounded like she didn't really want to mention your name. She wasn't even sure where you were. She just guessed.
Lucky: What do you mean she didn't really want to mention my name?
Nik: Well, she just sounded like her mind was on something else. She didn't say anything for like 2 minutes after I asked her if she knew where you were. I thought maybe she was mad at me for something. But judging from your reaction, I guess it had nothing to do with me.
Lucky: What else did she say?
Nik: Not much. Just that you were probably in the bike shop.
Nikolas paused for a beat, watching Lucky cleaning the carburetor as if it was precious silver that needed to be shined.
Nik: Are you going to tell me what this is about or are you going to make me sit here and watch you polish that thing to no end?
Lucky: It's called a carburetor. You better learn their proper names if you are going to want a bike.
Nik: I know what its called. And don't change the subject. You'll feel better if you tell someone about it.
Lucky: It's private.
Nik: (sighed) I guess it would be if it was about you and Elizabeth. All right. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. You want me to help you with anything here?
Lucky: No. I'm all right.
Lucky stopped cleaning the carburetor, and put his rag down. He looked at Nikolas for moment, drumming his fingers lightly on his arm.
Lucky: Have you ever been in love?
Nik: You sure know how to throw a big one, Spencer. (He paused for a second) I honestly don't know the answer to that one. I thought I was in love with Sarah. But now I am not so sure whether I was in love with her, or in love with the idea of being in love. I liked her. I liked being with her, but I really don't know if I was in love with her. How could I let her go so easily if I was? And Robin, I admire her is to say the least. But I don't know if I could be in love with someone who is in love with someone else. Maybe I can. But how would I know if it was love or not when I have only been friends with her?
Lucky: In other words, you haven't really been in love to the point where you would do anything just to make her happy, make her smile, and make her stay with you.
Nik: Something like that. Are you...having doubts about Elizabeth?
Lucky: No, nothing like that.
Nik: Is she having doubts about you?
Lucky: No, I know she loves me. I just don't know.....
Nik: Lucky, I don't see why you are so troubled if you both love each other.
Lucky: The trouble is we love each other so much, we don't know where to go from here.
Nik: You are not talking about getting married are you?
Lucky: NO, we are 16 years old, for god's sake! It's.....
Nik: If you don't think you can tell me, maybe you should talk to Elizabeth. She is obviously troubled by whatever it is you are having problems with.
Lucky: Nikolas, that night when you and Sarah went to the Cassadine retreat, why did you decide not to ...... you know....
Nik: Not to what......Oh.......I see what you're talking about. Um....well, Lucky, it was both of our decision. It was the right one as it turned out, I'm sure you know why. We just knew that we weren't ready. We wanted to. But it didn't feel right. Don't ask me why it didn't feel right. It just didn't. It felt like we might be rushing it if we had moved on to that kind of intimacy.
Lucky: And you didn't even have half of the problems we are facing.
Nik: You mean............Elizabeth's..........
Lucky: Yeah. We are in love. But is love enough to make that part of her experience go away? Maybe that's not the right way to put it. It'll never go away, I know that. But the person she is going to be with, would have to be very special to make her......
Lucky stopped as he realized how much he was telling Nikolas about his fear. Nikolas nodded his head understandingly.
Nik: You were right. This is private. But if you don't mind my saying so.....Elizabeth obviously thinks you are the special one. We all can see that if you are dumb enough not to realize that already. She stayed in Port Charles for you. Maybe for herself, too, in a way. But that says a lot about how she feels about you. She wants to be with you forever. And I think you do too. Am I right about that?
Lucky: My life wouldn't be complete without her.
Nik: Well, then you should just concentrate on that. Sarah and I knew we weren't ready, and we were right. I am sure you and Elizabeth have your own senses,too, even though something more complicated is involve here. The important thing remains to be that you love each other, and maybe at times it would feel as if there is no reason not to go forward, but you have to know that it would be such a special experience for both of you. That should not be taken lightly. I don't want to sound like a parent or anything, but if you are not sure if it's the right thing to do just yet since you are having trouble with it, maybe it's not time yet.
Lucky: What I'm really worrying about is that while my mind knows it's not time yet, would I be able to control my heart? Or worse yet, my hormones?
Nik: Well, Spencer, welcome to puberty.
Lucky: Do you have to make fun of that?
Nik: Sorry. It's just that.....well, I have got a couple of years on you, and I think I know where you are coming from. But Lucky, believe me, you are the last person I expect to jump on anyone just because of your hormones. Least of all Elizabeth. You love her. And that alone would stop you from doing anything she doesn't want to.
Lucky: What if she...one day, she doesn't say no?
Nik: That's where you two need to talk, Lucky. Remember, girls go through puberty too. Elizabeth is only human, and she is in love with you. But if one of you have the slightest doubt about it, then it shouldn't happen.
Lucky: Since when are you so Americanized? I don't even hear any hesitance in your voice when you say the word puberty.
Nik: Well, I think I finally realized, when in Rome............Besides, I've been hanging around you, what can I say?
Lucky: I had nothing to do with this.
Nik: Whatever you say.
Lucky stood up, and patted the seat of his pants.
Lucky: Well, I think I've had enough of this. I've got an important person to see right now.
Nik: I guess that's my cue to get out of here.
Nikolas stood up as well, and started toward the back door with Lucky.
Lucky: Wait, what did you want with me when you called the house?
Nik: Nothing important, just wanted to see if you guys wanted to have a picnic. But you've got something important to do to right now. We'll do that some other time.
Lucky nodded, they put on their coats, walked out of the bike shop. Lucky locked the door. He turned to Nikolas.
Lucky: Thanks, I guess you've got another specialty other than just giving information.
Nik: ( smiling) Well, glad to hear that. After all..........what are brothers for.
A crooked smile slowly showed up on Lucky's face. He and Nikolas stared at each other for a moment, and Lucky turned and ran off toward the direction of the Spencer house.
"Once in a life time" Music and Lyrics by M. Bolton, D. Warren, W. Afanasieff
From the soundtrack of the movie "ONLY YOU"
Some people fill their lives with
Empty nights and days that skip away
Some search till the end of time
But never find the open arms of fate
One moment comes along
When someone hands a dream to you
All at once your dreams come true
Once in a life time
You find the one you really love
From now and forever
One love that never ends
Once in a life time
Whenever the stars that lines the sky
For some unknown reason
Leading your heart to
The one love you find
Just once in a life time
Some people live their lives
Through compromise
And hide their dreams away
Some never take the chance within their hands
To claim the prize they make
When faith is all you need
To hold the hand at destiny
Find the love that's meant to be
Once in a life time
You find the one you really love
From now and forever
One love that never ends
Once in a life time
Whenever the stars that lines the sky
For some unknown reason
Leading your heart to
The one love you find
Just once in a life time
If you believe of the power of love
And you believe that dreams come true
And you will feel in your heart
When that moment comes along
Just once in your life...............
TO BE CONTINUED..............................
NOTE: I am sorry if this chapter seemed a little too serious, but these are some issues that I felt that need to be addressed. Please excuse me if I have bored you......which I hope I didn't! LOL!
