by Jera
RECAP: After a conversation with Jeff, Lucky discovered some fear he had for his relationship with Liz. When Liz couldn't get him to talk to her, she walked off angrily.
Liz stormed in the door while Laura was coloring with Lulu in the living room.
Laura: Elizabeth, your dad went to GH.....
Laura didn't even get a chance to finish her first sentence as she watched Liz run straight upstairs. She frowned, and exchanged a confused look with Lulu as the door slammed upstairs.
Laura: I wonder what.......
The door opened again before she finished that sentence. Lucky came running in, and went straight upstairs without so much as a glance to Laura and Lulu.
Laura: Oh, dear.
She looked at Lulu again, who was still eyeing the top of the stairs where Liz and Lucky disappeared to.
Laura: I think two of our favorite people are having their first real fight.
Lulu: A fight? Are they going to fight and then say sorry?
Laura: Oh, honey, I would certainly hope so.
They both turned their gaze to the top of the stairs again.
Lucky stood in front of Liz's bedroom, knocking rapidly on the door.
Lucky: Elizabeth, please open the door.
A muffled voice came from inside the bedroom.
Liz: Not now, Lucky.
Lucky rubbed his eyes for a few seconds, put his head against the door. He knocked on the door again.
Lucky: Elizabeth, I'm sorry, baby. Please open the door so we can talk.
Liz: Why? You didn't want to talk to me earlier.
Lucky: Please open the door, just for a minute.
After a few moments of silence, he heard the soft steps coming toward the door, and then the door opened. Liz's face was pale, her eyes and nose were slightly red. She stared right into Lucky's eyes.
Liz: Yes?
Lucky: Can I come in, please?
Liz could never say no to Lucky, especially not when he had that tortured and guilty look in his eyes. She stepped away from the door into her room and went to stand by the window. Lucky closed the door, and followed her over to the window. He held out a hand to touch her, but took it back before it reached her.
Lucky: Elizabeth, I didn't mean to brush you off. Please believe me.
Liz: Why wouldn't you tell me what's bothering you?
Lucky: Because I'm not exactly sure what is bothering me myself, Elizabeth.
Liz: Does it have anything to do with your conversation with my dad this morning?
Lucky: Um, a little.
Liz: He wasn't telling you about Africa, was he?
Lucky: No.
Liz turned around, leaned back against the windowsill to face Lucky.
Liz: What did you talked about? Can you tell me that?
Lucky: Well, just what any father would say to his daughter's boyfriend. He wanted to make sure that I won't hurt you.
Liz: Of course you won't! I know you'll never hurt me. I'm sure dad will know that too when he knows you better.
Lucky: I know. Like I said, he was just being a father.
Liz: And that's what's bothering you? My dad's being unsure of you?
Lucky just stood there, and stared at Liz. He could never lose her. It would be like a death sentence to him. He couldn't bring himself to tell her that he wondered if it had been someone else that had been helping her this past year, would she had fallen for him instead of Lucky? Or if the rape had never happened, would they still be where they were today? Lucky couldn't tell her all of those thoughts for fear that she would start thinking about those questions herself. And he wouldn't be able to handle it if the answers she came up with were the ones that would break his heart.
Lucky's lips trembled as he said the words. The only thought he was able to tell Liz.
Lucky: I don't want to lose you, Elizabeth. I can't lose you.
He closed the short distance between them and placed his hands on the window behind Liz. He closed his eyes and kissed her, hard and deep. His teeth tugged, bit; his tongue thrust, searched. He was pressed against Liz now, one hand cupping the back of her head, needing to kiss her and to feel her in hope of chasing away all the questions in his head. Liz could feel that this kiss was different from all the kisses before. It was powerful and demanding, yet a little shaky, and needy. A combination she didn't understand, yet was deeply moved by. Lucky finally pulled away, and just looked at her. His gaze was still tormented. Her heart was aching for it.
Liz: Lucky, you will never lose me. Never. You hear me? You have nothing to worry about.
Lucky smiled weakly. Liz caressed his cheek, smiling gently.
Liz: You are stuck with me, Lucky. Forever.
Lucky pulled Liz into his arms and stood there, holding on to her tightly, wishing in his heart that all she was saying would come true.
Liz didn't press Lucky more about the conversation between him and her father. Jeff stayed for about 4 days until the clinic in London called him to inform him that they were making much progress on one of the research projects, and he was needed there to conclude the final stage of it. He apologize to Liz and made sure it was all right with her for him to leave a few days early before he got on the next plane to London.
Lucky seemed to be back to his usual self after they made up. But Liz constantly found herself in the center of Lucky's gaze that was somewhat confused, and even sad. He'd smiled immediately after she caught his eyes which made her wonder if she had just been seeing things a second ago. Lucky had also been working extra long hours at the bike shop, and spending time with Nikolas without her. She wondered once or twice that maybe Lucky was trying to avoid her, but laughed at herself for even thinking that. Lucky was still that thoughtful and sweet person when they were together. Liz had convinced herself that nothing was wrong. Until that day.
She was walking to her last class with a few of her classmates from the previous class. One of whom being Jon. Jon was in a couple of her classes, and from what she could tell, he was good tempered and had a great sense of humor. She'd heard that some freshmen class girls were crazy about him seeing that he was good looking and was on the basketball team. Liz was just talking to Jon about how her brother Steven used to play basketball when someone ran right into her and almost knocked her down. Jon was quick enough to have caught her in his arms, and helped her picked up her books. Liz saw Lucky standing a few feet away when she stood up, and she smiled and waved at him. It seemed strange to her that Lucky hadn't waved back. He just stood there and stared at her, and Jon. Liz quickly bid good-bye to Jon and ran toward Lucky.
Liz: Hey, are you all right?
Lucky stood there and stared at her without a word.
Liz: Lucky? Hello? Anybody home?
She jokingly knocked softly on Lucky's head when she said that, yet it didn't get a smile out of Lucky. He did, however, finally opened his mouth.
Lucky: Elizabeth, tell me..............
He looked over to Jon's direction for one split second before he continued.
Lucky: Why would you pick me over somebody like that?
Liz: What? Somebody like what?
Lucky: Like Jon Ballard.
Liz: Jon? Lucky, I don't understand what you are saying. Why would you even ask me that?
Lucky: Why me? Could it have been somebody else? Could it have been just anybody?
Liz was now completely confused. What was Lucky talking about? What did he mean? Was he questioning why she didn't fall in love with someone else? Was he wishing that she had? The thought of it sent chills up her spine. Was that what had been bothering Lucky? He was finally having doubts about her?
Liz: Lucky, what are you saying? Do you want me to pick somebody else over you? Why are you acting so strange? Do you want it to be somebody else?
Lucky: The question was could it have been? If I wasn't there, would it have been just anybody? Why did you pick me to fall in love with?
Liz felt as if somebody was choking her, and was ripping her heart out. The anguish in Lucky's voice was evident. So that's why he had been working long hours, and spending more time with Nikolas. He was not sure about her anymore. He was wishing that it was somebody else she had fallen in love with. She didn't know why, and she didn't want to know at this moment. Her tears were raining down and she couldn't find a word to say to Lucky for what seemed to be an eternity. The hallway had been empty for a few minutes now. The bell rang telling them that the class had started. Neither of them moved.
Liz: If you are asking me if I could have fallen in love with somebody else....I don't know. I don't know. I fell in love with you, Lucky.
Lucky: Because I was there.
Liz: Yes, you were there. You were always there for me. Has that changed?
Lucky: I don't know. Elizabeth. I don't know if it shouldn't.
Lucky closed his eyes and opened them again.
Lucky: If I wasn't there, you might have found someone better for you.
Liz: ( her voice choking) Someone.....like....Jon?
Lucky: Yeah, someone like Jon.
They were both crying silently now. Liz felt like screaming yet she couldn't find her voice. She never saw this coming. Sure, Lucky had been acting strangely lately, but she never in her worst nightmare saw this coming. Lucky wanted her to find somebody else. She wasn't going to beg him to stay even though she wanted to. She didn't want to hold him back. She wanted to keep the memory as beautiful as she could. Everything had been so perfect since they'd been together. Maybe it was too perfect to have lasted. She should have known.
Liz: You....don't have to be here........ if you don't want to.
Lucky's body was trembling like hers. He looked deep into her soul with those piercing blue eyes. Then he turned and walked away slowly. Every step he took was on the thousand pieces of her heart that had been broken into within the last 15 minutes. It was the end of her world as she knew it.
"When you love someone" By Anita Baker & James Ingram
Were we ever
Did we used it all too fast
Are we moments never meant to last
And the last thing that I want
Is to ever make your smile go away
Keep the memories
Take the best of what we had
I can start to watch
Watch what was great go by
And if I can't be with you
Then I'd rather just remember what we knew
When you love someone
Then you love them with your heart
And it doesn't disappear if you're apart
When you love someone
And you've done all you can do
Then you set them free
And if that love is true
When you love someone
It will all come back to you
Nights I wonder
Was it too much that we gave
If we give in more
Would we have both been save
Oh I guess we crossed the line
Never knowing what was the others
What was mine
And through it all
I still have no regrets
Just promise me
That you never will forget
When you love someone
And you've done all you can do
Then you set them free
And if that love is true
When you love someone
It will all come back to you
TO BE CONTINUED............................
Note: I know a lot of you are probably hating my guts right now......< trying to escape all the flying objects that are coming my way.....> All I can say is, when you are sixteen, you want everything to be absolutely perfect, and all your emotions seem to be extremely heightened, little things that 40 year olds don't think matter could break your entire universe. That is such a good quality, yet it could also make it seem like heartbreaks happen so easily....at least in my experience. Anyway, sorry about the not so "HEAVENLY" chapters, but all great love has to go through some kind of turbulence. Lucky and Liz are no exception to the rules. Well, OK, only to that particular rule!!:o)
