JUST ANOTHER SITCOM-
PREPARATIONS

SEASON 1
EPISODE 8

By Aeris Love Gainsborough

*****

THE CHARACTERS

CLOUD- Cloud writes restaurant reviews for magazines across the city. He's dating Aeris. He's a very good-looking, nice guy.

AERIS- Aeris is in training to be a hair stylist for the movies, and is dating Cloud. She's kind and sweet.

TIFA- Tifa sometimes bartends at her bar, 7th Heaven, but only when she feels like it. She's nice, and writes short stories for a hobby. She has the worst love life ever, despite being very attractive.

YUFFIE- Yuffie arranges flowers at Wall Market Florists, and shares an apartment with Tifa and Aeris. Her father spoils her, so she spends all her time buying expensive outfits and getting her hair done.

VINCENT- Vincent writes movie screenplays, but so far hasn't written anything popular.

RENO- Reno is an unsuccessful actor, who cares about only two things: himself, and women!

ELENA- Elena is one of Reno's friends, and a successful talent agent, Reno's agent.

RUFUS- He owns a huge corporation that makes all kinds of products, named Shinra Works.

SCARLET- Scarlet is the vice-president of Shinra Works.

*****

EXT. stands for "EXTERIOR" INT. stands for "INTERIOR" (Oooh, I'm practicing using real screenwriter terms!! =P)

*****

ACT I

*SCENE I*

INT. THE GIRLS' APARTMENT LIVING ROOM-- MORNING

(Aeris is wearing a pink silk robe, and is reading a bride's magazine. Tifa walks in, just waking up, carrying a cup of coffee, and wearing a cotton bath robe.)

TIFA: If it isn't the bride to be herself!

AERIS: Oh, Tifa, I'm just so excited! I'm picking out a wedding dress right now... There are so many styles, so many choices... I want an off-the-shoulder, dropped waist, mermaid silhouette... I think. I also want short, T-shirt sleeves!

TIFA: What about bridesmaids dresses, and my, ahem, maid of honor dress?

AERIS: Well, first I'm deciding on my dress... After all, I'm the one getting married!

TIFA: Ok, ok, but just for the record... (She picks up a bridal magazine, and opens it to a bridesmaid dress.) I like this one.

AERIS: Black!? Oh, no, I was thinking of light blue!

TIFA: Well, that might look nice...

AERIS: Of course, you're paying for it, right?

TIFA: Hey, no problem. But... (She stands up.) Make it sexy.

AERIS: (Laughing.) You could dress in a bed sheet, after rolling in the mud, and still look sexy.

TIFA: (Grinning.) You're going to look so gorgeous at the wedding, though.

AERIS: (Smiling.) I can only hope so. Oh, Tiff, how's Yuffie?

TIFA: I haven't seen her since she went to bed.

AERIS: (Sighing.) Poor Yuffie, she was so excited about Vincent's "proposal"... But I can't help but just be so happy!

TIFA: (Grinning.) Of course you can't help being happy... You're getting married to the guy of your dreams!

AERIS: (Leaning back happily.) Ooh yeah. (She grins.)

TIFA: So, are you hiring a wedding coordinator?

AERIS: Of course! And a hairstylist, a makeup artist, a professional photographer, a caterer, a band, a flower arranger, a fashion assistant...

TIFA: This is gonna be so much fun!!!

(Yuffie comes out of her room, with mascara streaked around her eyes, and shadows under her eyes.)

YUFFIE: (Smiling a little.) I am *so* over him. (Aeris and Tifa smile at her. Yuffie sits down between Tifa and Aeris, looks at Aeris, sniffs, and wipes away some mascara, and sings.) Here comes the bride... (Aeris and Tifa both hug her.)

ACT II

*SCENE I*

INT. WEDDING BOUTIQUE-- MORNING

(Aeris, Elmyra, Tifa and Yuffie are at the wedding boutique, which is decorated very fancily.)

AERIS: Oh, I'm just so excited! We just have to select a wedding theme!

ELMYRA: Dear, I can't tell you how happy I am to see you getting married to Cloud Strife, he seems like such a sweet boy.

AERIS: Oh, he is, he really is!

TIFA: (Pointing at an example of a wedding theme.) Wow, how about a beach wedding? Costa del Sol?

AERIS: No, that doesn't sound very good... I want a formal wedding!

YUFFIE: Oh, when I get married to Vincent, I'm going to have an outdoor wedding! (Tifa and Aeris stare at Yuffie, and she realizes what she said, and bites her lip.) Uh...

TIFA: (Talking to a receptionist.) We're looking for Jacques Cousante.

RECEPTIONIST: Mr. Cousante will be with you in a moment! (She walks into a back room.)

AERIS: I've heard this guy is la creme de la creme!

ELMYRA: This is the coordinating company I used for our wedding, when I was twenty three! Of course, we had much less money then, so our wedding was pretty small.

AERIS: I want a huge wedding!! I'm going to invite everyone I can!

TIFA: (Laughing.) It will cost money, sugar.

ELMYRA: I have plenty saved away with my wonderful new job.

AERIS: Heh, must be nice for Cloud to sit back and have the whole wedding organized just for him.

ELYMRA: Well, it is our family's duty!

YUFFIE: So who are the bridesmaids?

AERIS: Well, Tifa is the Maid of Honor, and the bridesmaids are you, my cousin Rose and Cid's wife Shera.

YUFFIE: Make the dresses nice, or die. (She grins.)

JACQUES: (Waving, and speaking in a french accent.) Hello! And vhere is ze beyootifool bride?

AERIS: (Smiling.) That's me... Though I'm not beautiful.

JACQUES: You are right, beyootifool is not enough to describe your exquiseet beyootee! (He kisses Aeris' hand, then bows to the group.) So do ze have any kind of idea for ze vedding theme?

AERIS: Well, all I really know is that I want it to be formal, and I want there to be lots and lots of flowers! We'll begin in a church, and then the reception will be at my mother's house.

ELMYRA: Yes, my house, in the beautiful flower garden, oh, it will be so beautiful!

JACQUES: Vonderfool, vonderfool! Vood ze like to look at some floral arrangements?

AERIS: That would be great. (The group walk into another room.)

ACT III

*SCENE I*

EXT. ELENA'S MANSION-- MORNING

(Elena is lying on her back on a sunchair, in a bikini and sunglasses, trying to get a suntan, while Reno is sitting next to her, whining. Elena speaks in a cool, sophisticated agent's voice.)

ELENA: No, Reno, I don't think I can get you a part in Chocobo Lake. You don't dance ballet, baby!

RENO: But with a couple of classes, I could play the LEAD CHOCOBO! (Stands up, and makes a few pathetic poses.)

ELENA: Sorry, Reno, they don't want you. But there is a part available in a television series... You could play the pizza delivery boy.

RENO: (Whining.) I don't want to play the pizza delivery boy!

ELENA: Well, look, there's this new romantic comedy in the works... Maybe you should audition.

RENO: Who's directing?

ELENA: A fabulous new young director! She's just brilliant, darling!

RENO: What's the movie about?

ELENA: Boy meets girl... He falls in love with her... She doesn't love him back... I have a copy of the script somewhere.

RENO: Ok, I'll check that out.

(Robert the butler walks in, carrying a pile of mail. He speaks in a dry English accent.)

ROBERT: Good morning, madam.

ELENA: Hello, Robert. (Takes off her sunglasses and sits up.) What news?

ROBERT: (Hands her a package.) Here's a bribe from one of your clients...

ELENA: (Opens it up, and takes out a scarf.) Oh, GORGEOUS! Just gorgeous! I'll have to find a brilliant part for that boy. What else, Robert?

RENO: (Raises his eyebrows, and nods.) Not bad.

ROBERT: (Hands her a thick envelope.) Payment...

ELENA: (Puts it down beside her.) What else?

ROBERT: (Hands her another.) Wedding invitation.

ELENA: (Elena drops her 'oh so cool' act...) What!? (Rips it open.) Aeris Gainborough and Cloud Strife!? Oh my god! Oh my god!

RENO: Something wrong?

ELENA: How can they be getting married!?

RENO: Well, he probably proposed to her, and she accepted...

ELENA: Oh, wow...

RENO: I wonder if I was invited?

ELENA: (Sighing.) Well, I just HAVE to go shopping! (Gets up, and brushes herself off.) Reno, you may help yourself to anything in the refrigerator.

RENO: (Sarcastically.) Oh, goody.

ROBERT: May I get you anything, sir?

RENO: How about a Martini?

ROBERT: Coming right up, sir.

(Elena leaves, still in her bikini. Robert walks out stiffly.)

RENO: (Trying on a British accent.) May I get you a cup of coff-ay? (Stops the accent.) I'll never get the damn accent down.

ACT IV

*SCENE I*

INT. WEDDING BOUTIQUE-- MORNING

(Aeris is looking at different wedding dresses with Tifa, Yuffie, Jacques and Elmyra. She is wearing a light blue wedding dress and a studded diamond tiara.)

AERIS: I don't know, I mean, this dress is nice and everything, but I think I want a white one... Maybe white with a hint of pink. But I really love the tiara.

TIFA: I think the dress is great.

YUFFIE: Nah, stick with white.

JACQUES: I'll call for ze vite-pink sheen silk dress. Frederick! Mademoiselle Aeris, vat style?

AERIS: Oh, well, a ballroom gown, with a dropped waist, and off-the-shoulder neck. Ooh, and t-shirt sleeves!

JACQUES: Beyootifool!

*SCENE II*

INT. WEDDING BOUTIQUE-- THIRTY MINUTES LATER

(Jacques, Tifa, Yuffie and Elmyra are waiting for Aeris, who walks out of the changing room in an absolutely gorgeous dress, with the tiara in her hair..)

TIFA: Aeris, you look like... Like a princess.

AERIS: I love this dress!

YUFFIE: You'll make a gorgeous bride!

ELMYRA: Oh, my little girl!

(Aeris spins around, and grins.)

JACQUES: This dress is ze surprisingly cheap for such ze beyootifool dress! Only $1250!

AERIS: (Gasps.) Wow, that's very cheap! They told me to expect at least $2500 for a dress this beautiful!

ELMYRA: That's great, Aeris!

JACQUES: But by ze looks of things, it vill need to be altered just ze little bit...

TIFA: But it looks so gorgeous, it fits fine!

AERIS: But it's better to fit it perfectly.

JACQUES: Ok, just take it off in ze changing room, then.

AERIS: Oh, this is going to be so great! (She laughs, and goes to the changing room.)

YUFFIE: (Whining.) I wanna get married!

ACT V

*SCENE I*

INT. WEDDING BOUTIQUE-- EVENING

(Cloud and Vincent are trying on matching tuxedos. Jacques is standing beside them, looking at the suits critically. Alterations women are sweing at Cloud and Vincent's suits.)

VINCENT: I still think my red tuxedo would work better.

JACQUES: No, no, no, no!! Matching tuxes for ze men!

CLOUD: How do I look, Vince?

VINCENT: Just like me, so I guess that means you look pretty damn good.

CLOUD: So, you never told me what happened with Yuffie...

VINCENT: You don't wanna know.

CLOUD: (Fixing his bow tie.) That bad, huh?

VINCENT: She left me.

CLOUD: (Surprised.) Oh, man, I'm so sorry!

VINCENT: I had it coming... I just took her for granted.

CLOUD: Oh, come on, you loved her more than anything!

VINCENT: (Sighing.) Yeah, I really did... She said that I should have proposed to her.

CLOUD: Were you ready for that?

VINCENT: No...

CLOUD: Then why should you have proposed?

VINCENT: (Pausing.) Yeah, you're right. If it was meant to be, then she wouldn't have left me.

CLOUD: You'll have other girls, man.

VINCENT: Yeah, like... Like that pretty waitress at the coffee house that keeps flirting with me.

CLOUD: Or like... Like Tifa, she's not seeing anyone right now.

VINCENT: (Surprised.) Really? You think that someone... Like her, would go for a guy like me?

CLOUD: Sure, you're a girl magnet. But you won't get the best girl of all... I'll be the lucky guy who'll take her down the aisle.

VINCENT: Yeah, Aeris is a gorgeous sweetheart. You're a really lucky man.

CLOUD: Thanks, Vincent.

ACT VI

*SCENE I*

INT. WEDDING BOUTIQUE-- FIVE DAYS LATER

(Tifa, Yuffie, and Shera are in the wedding boutique, each wearing a different dress. Aeris is standing, looking at the dresses with Jacques. Tifa is in a light blue floor length sleeveless dress. Yuffie is in a pink strapless short dress. Shera is in a dark green knee-length long sleeved dress.)

AERIS: I don't like the style of Yuffie's dress, but I love the color.

YUFFIE: But this dress is so sexy!

AERIS: It's a wedding, not a cocktail party.

TIFA: This dress makes me look fat, Aeris!

AERIS: You do not look fat!

TIFA: Shera's style is pretty, but I like this color.

SHERA: (Slight british accent.) Well, I like the style of Tifa's dress, it's just gorgeous!

AERIS: Ok, for the Maid of Honor, we want Shera's dress style in light blue...

JACQUES: (Writing it down.) Of course, but of course...

AERIS: For the bridesmaids, we'll have Tifa's dress style, in pink!

YUFFIE: But I love this dress!

AERIS: Well...

YUFFIE: Pleaaaaase?

AERIS: What do you think, Shera?

SHERA: The dress is just gorgeous.

AERIS: Well, yeah, it is a nice dress... Ok, three of the bridesmaids dresses in pink.

JACQUES: Vhat size is ze Rose girl?

AERIS: I have it written down somewhere, just a sec... (Roots around in her purse, and takes out a paper.) Here you go.

JACQUES: Vhen vill ze girl be here?

AERIS: She should be here in a few minutes! She's coming straight here.

(Tifa, Shera and Yuffie go into the changing rooms to change out of the dresses, and Rose walks through the door, carrying a travel bag. She is young, with a short haircut.)

ROSE: Aeris!!

AERIS: Rose! (They run at each other and hug.) How are you??

ROSE: I'm so excited about the wedding!

AERIS: So am I!

ROSE: I'm so glad I'm a bridesmaid... You know, this is my first wedding ever!

AERIS: At least until you get married.

ROSE: Did you pick the dress out yet?

AERIS: Yeah, it's a really gorgeous style, you're gonna love it. I didn't like it at first, but it's grown on me.

(Shera, Tifa and Yuffie come out in their regular clothes.)

AERIS: Guys, this is my younger cousin, Rose! But since we look so much alike, you can call her Aeris Rose.

ROSE: (Giggling.) Nice to meet you guys!

YUFFIE: I love your haircut, Rose!

TIFA: It looks like yours, Yuffie.

SHERA: Very nice to meet you, too, Aeris Rose.

(They all shake her hand.)

JACQUES: I hate to break up ze reunion, but ve have a dress to try on, no?

ROSE: Great!!

(Jacques hands her a dress, and she walks away to try it on.)

YUFFIE: You know, I know this guy, he's fifteen... She just has to meet him, he looks just like Ewan McGregor!

SHERA: Ewan McGregor?

AERIS: You know, Obi-Wan from the Star Wars movie. He was cute, but I'd die for Matthew Perry.

SHERA: Er, Matthew Perry?

TIFA: Chandler in Friends.

AERIS: He's so hot... Cloud looks just like him.

YUFFIE: (With raised eyebrows.) No, he doesn't!

AERIS: Does too!

YUFFIE: Does not!

TIFA: You guys are so immature.

ACT VII

*SCENE I*

INT. 7TH HEAVEN-- EVENING

(Aeris, Tifa, Cloud, Vincent and Rose are sitting together at a table, drinking and laughing together. Tifa is not bartending this time.)

CLOUD: I don't look like Matthew Perry!

ROSE: If he was blonde, you'd be his identical twin.

AERIS: See? She agrees!

CLOUD: You know, I'm really nervous.

AERIS: Sweetie, it will be so great.

CLOUD: You haven't spent too much money, have you?

AERIS: (Smirking.) Not too much...

TIFA: (Softly.) So, Vincent, have you and Yuffie talked at all?

VINCENT: No, we haven't... I'm sort of scared of seeing her, she'll be so angry and hurt...

TIFA: She told us she was over you.

VINCENT: (Visibly surprised and little hurt.) Really? Well, uh, I'm so over her, too. Bartender, another beer, please.

(Yuffie walks into the bar.)

YUFFIE: Hey, Aeris, Tifa, Rose and Cloud! (Turns to Vincent.) Good evening, Vincent.

VINCENT: Hello to you, too. (Turns to the others, who shrug.)

YUFFIE: (Sitting down.) So Cloud, I got the prettiest dress today!

ROSE: Yeah, I love the color!

AERIS: Because it matches your name?

ROSE: Heh.

YUFFIE: So, Aeris, what are you gonna do for the something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue thing?

AERIS: The something new is the wedding dress... The something old are my light pink silk ballet slippers... Tifa's letting me borrow her diamond earrings for the something borrowed, and my bouquet has tons of blue flowers.

YUFFIE: Neat!

GUY ON THE MIKE: Ok, everyone, tonight's open mike night, so anyone who has a poem to recite, or a song to sing, just come on up her.

YUFFIE: (Jumping up.) Oh, I do! (The group turns to look at her.)

GUY ON THE MIKE: Ok, come on up! (He moves away, and Yuffie walks up.)

YUFFIE: Ok, uh... I think anyone who knows me will understand the point of this song... Well, here goes. (She clears her throat, then tells the band what she's going to sing. Since they know the song, they begin to play. Yuffie begins to sing the chorus to a song, in a surprisingly good singing voice... The song is: "Gonna Get Along Without You Now".)

Ah ha, Oooh! I'm gonna get along without you now. Ah, ha! Ooooooh! I'm gonna get along without you now. I got along without you, before I met you, Gonna get along without you now. I'm gonna find somebody who is twice as cute, Cause I didn't like you anyhow. So long..! My honey... Goodbye, My dear... I'm gonna get along without you now...

(Vincent is completely surprised, and so are the rest of the group. Yuffie ends the song, bows slightly, and goes back to her seat.)

AERIS: That... You sung that very well, Yuffie...

TIFA: It was a... A sad song.

VINCENT: I get your point, Yuffie...

YUFFIE: Good...

VINCENT: Uh, I'm sorry it didn't work out... I really wanted it to.

ROSE: This is a little awkward...

VINCENT: Oh, Cloud, why didn't you tell me you invited my brother?

CLOUD: Rodney? We're friends, I wanted him to see me marry the girl of my dreams. I would have invited the whole world if I could.

AERIS: You're so sweet... (They kiss.)

ROSE: You're such a great couple!

VINCENT: Cloud, you know how Rodney and I always argue when we get together... How could you do this to me?

CLOUD: Sorry, man, I had no idea, and we can't go take the invitation from the mailbox.

*SCENE II*

EXT. MAILBOX-- EVENING

(Vincent's banging on the mailbox. Cloud's beside him, checking his watch.)

VINCENT: Give me back the damn invitation!

CLOUD: Sorry, Vincent. I think they were already mailed. Oh, and your brother's staying at our place.

VINCENT: (Covering his face.) Could this get any worse??

CLOUD: He told me about this crush he had on Yuffie.

(Vincent closes his eyes, and faints.)

ACT VIII

*SCENE I*

INT. CLOUD AND VINCENT'S APARTMENT LIVING ROOM-- MORNING

(Cloud and Vincent are watching TV, and there's a knock at the door. Cloud gets up and answer.)

RODNEY: (Carrying a suitcase. He's twenty years old, and looks just like Vincent, but with a short, spiky haircut and blue eyes.) Cloud!

CLOUD: Hey, Rod! Come in, we're just watching some sports.

RODNEY: Great. Hey, big brother!

VINCENT: (Drily.) How's it going, Rodney.

RODNEY: So, I heard you broke up with your girlfriend! Tough break!

VINCENT: Right.

CLOUD: Well, just leave your stuff anywhere, uh, you're sleeping on the couch, ok?

RODNEY: Sounds fun.

(There's a knock on the door, and Yuffie walks right in.)

YUFFIE: Hey, Cloud, did I leave my jacket in... (She notices Rodney, and smiles, and in a soft voice.) Rodney.

RODNEY: (Grinning.) Yuffie, how's it going?

YUFFIE: You're even cuter than you were last year.

RODNEY: You're even more gorgeous.

YUFFIE: (Smiling.) It's great to see you.

VINCENT: (Quietly.) This is just making me sick.

CLOUD: You did leave your jacket here, Yuffie.

YUFFIE: My what..? (She turns to Cloud.) Oh, my jacket, of course.

CLOUD: (Handing her the jacket.) Here you go.

YUFFIE: (Softly.) Thank you. (She turns to Rodney.) I'll see you later, Rodney.

RODNEY: (Grinning.) I'm looking forward to it.

(Yuffie turns away, and practically floats out of the room.)

VINCENT: What was *that*??

RODNEY: The most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

VINCENT: She's my ex-girlfriend!

RODNEY: EX being the key word.

VINCENT: Fine, just go ahead and sleep with her, see if I care.

RODNEY: (Smiling.) Really? Sounds great! Bye, bro! (He leaves the room.)

VINCENT: (Turning to Cloud, angrily.) You know I hold YOU to blame for this.

(Cloud turns away, shrugging.)

ACT IX

*SCENE I*

INT. YUFFIE'S BEDROOM-- EVENING

(Yuffie and Rodney are lying in the bed together. Yuffie is putting on her bra, and Rodney's in his boxers.)

YUFFIE: Well... That was interesting.

RODNEY: Wasn't it?

YUFFIE: Maybe you should go now... Aeris and Tifa wouldn't want to see you tomorrow.

RODNEY: Well, uh, I'll see you soon, ok? (He gives her a kiss, and starts getting dressed.)

YUFFIE: Uh, there's no reason Vincent should know about this...

RODNEY: No, of course not.

ACT X

*SCENE I*

INT. CLOUD AND VINCENT'S APARTMENT LIVING ROOM-- MORNING

(Cloud and Vincent are eating breakfast, when Rodney walks in.)

RODNEY: You'll never guess who I slept with last night.

VINCENT: You didn't.

RODNEY: (Smiling like a shark.) I did.

VINCENT: (Standing up.) I'm going to kill you! (Starts chasing him, and Cloud sits there, shaking his head.)

TO BE CONTINUED...