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ALLEN COVERT-- |
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Covert and Fabrizio lay low on the port side of the ship Titanic. "I don't mind riding in steerage," Covert said. "It's not like I'm bigger than DiCaprio." |
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Though Covert was never much of a "brain," Allen graduated 86th out of 112 students at JFK High School in Vallencourt, NJ in 1984. "Chicks really dug my mullet," Covert said. "They would always come over and ask if they could curl up the ends of my hair for me. Like the red-blooded stud that I am, I always said YES!" |
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Covert tried out the talk show circuit in 1993 when he hosted "The Allen Covert Hour" for ABC. Unfortunately his keen and unique sense of style frightened viewers, and Covert was forced to send packing with the likes of Tempest Bledsoe and Morton Downey, Jr. |
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Covert spent approx. 61 days on tour with the Grateful Dead in 1988 playing bass. After trying over 62 mind-expanding drugs, Covert told the rest of the band that he could no longer stay on the road. "I puked up a yorkshire terrier one night, " Covert said. "It was really odd, and mostly icky, but the guys in the band just stood there and laughed. That doggy was in pain. It wouldn't stop yelping, even though its cry was muffled by the goo it was covered by. I yelled at the band 'Hey, Jerry, how would you like it if you were mysteriously eaten and then thrown up like it didn't even matter if you were alive or dead? Huh, Jerry?' I was, like, screw you heartless bastards! So, Even though the little puppy is mostly deformed, I took it home with me and adopted it. Its name is Mr. Scruffkins." |
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Covert settled down in 1992 to marry his only groupie from the Grateful Dead era, Sandy Myers. Allen and Sandy live in Venice Beach, CA with their son Toby Fabrice and Mr. Scruffkins. Sandy works as a personal assistant to Mr. Gary Coleman and helps run his production company, Little Dude Productions, while Covert recently starred in Never Been Kissed with Drew Barrymore. |
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CRAZY COVERT!!! Once a week, Covert feels obligated to change his everyday persona into that of a teenage Asian vixen named Chee. |
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