Constance's Corner
Disclaimer: Constance Spano is not real, and this interview isn't real, either.
Hey there, all you out there in cyber land! After combatting those nasty pictures on the internet and battling the stars from Scream 3 (I still have a small bruise from Courtney Cox's punch), I got a call from GUESS WHO? Yes, Scott. The guy who's responsible for the Douglas Murders stories. I couldn't believe it! I was even in all the DMs, so I couldn't wait to start interviewing him for the Hollywood Insider! Here's the interview:
Constance: Hi! So, let's start from the beginning: How did you first come up with the Douglas Murders?
Scott: Well, I've always wanted to do a horror story, and I always think it's a neat idea to put myself and people I know in the stories I make. So I made a spoof of Scream that had me and Dwayne and Sabrina and everyone else in it.
Constance: Where did you get the inspiration for MY character?
Scott: Well, I took you from the news reporter character (Gale Weathers) in Scream, and I got the name from one of the characters in Independence Day.
Constance: It's taken you as much time to finish DM5 as you did the last 4 DMs combined. What happened? Did the recent attention on school shootings have anything to do with the delays?
Scott: The massive delays were the result of a whole buncha unfortunate accidents, like me accidentally throwing away the disk it was typed on. I still feel like kicking myself for doing that! And no, the school shootings had nothing to do with the delay in DM5.
Constance: You said DM5 is the last Douglas Murders. Is that REALLY true? Or is it like DM3?
Scott: I'm serious this time! DM5 is the final chapter!
Constance: Yeah, sure. So, who's your favorite character in all of The Douglas Murders?
Scott: Probably Danielle when she turns into a zombie.
Constance: WHAT?! WHAT ABOUT ME YOU STUPID LITTLE.. er, um, sorry. So who's the killer in DM5? Is it me?
Scott: You know, I can't tell you that, Constance, you'll have to read it for yourself!
(Constance leaps from her chair.)
Constance: DON'T GIVE ME THAT CRAP!! TELL ME NOW!! I WANT TO KNOW!!
Scott: Security!!
(Security guards drag Constance away, kicking and screaming.)
You know, all my interviews end like that... Oh, well, this is Constance Spano, signing off!
Image courtesy of Gale Weathers.com!
This guys is so unbelievably hot it's not even funny! I was practically melting in my chair during the interview!