Sakura wants to say.."Arigatou!"
Hsu - He's a man who leads a life of danger!
Chan - Argh!I spilled coffee on my pants!Again!
*The offices of Uber-Tuber Interactive*
Hsu - Hello,video gamers!I'm Hsu Tanaka,this is my brother,Chan!
Chan - Heyo!
Hsu - Check out the digs!Our new project has afforded us access to all manner of high-spec computer and whatnot!Rev 'er up,Chan!
*VROOM*
Hsu - Though Chan and I normally work alone from our homebased studio,we can be lured out from time to time with copious amounts of money!
Chan - And free food!
Hsu - You are so right,brother Chan!
Hsu - Today,Uber-Tuber Interactive has contracted us to fix a few bugs in an upcoming action/espionage title.
Chan - One such glitch causes the game to lockup whenever the player turns right six times with the Darringer drawn while in "Clown Disguise" mode.
Hsu - It's real life-or-death stuff.
*Chan eating donuts*
Chan - Mm!Cream cheesy!
Hsu - When we're at home,these problems could be solved in about thirty minutes and forty-something lines of code,however,due to complications resulting from a different working environment,such as being paid by the hour,I'd be surprised if we could bring these suckers down in less than...hmm..what would you say,Chan?
*Chan chomping on donuts*
Chan - Four days,minimun.If the weather's fair.
Hsu - Mind you,money is not the only attraction of this type of job.There are other advantages to working in an office environment,those being 1)You get to work with ridiculously expensive pieces of equipment.
Machine - Good morning,Dave
Hsu - And 2)There's other people around to blame should you accidently break one.
*Chan pointing at printer with donut*
Chan - Jenkins! Is this YOUR donut lodged in the laser printer?
Hsu - Speaking of donuts,pass me one,would you,Chan?
Chan - Um..There aren't anymore.
Hsu - You mean...That's the last one?
Chan - Uh...
*Both stare at the donut until Chan gobbled it up*
Hsu - Infidel!My own brother has betrayed me!
Hsu - Now you shall feel...The fists of DOOM!
*Hsu's hands glow(ala Sagat when he throws a fireball)*
*Hsu grabs Chan's ear and pulls on it*
Chan - ow! Ow! Leggo!
Hsu - Suffer!
Chan - Awright,I give!I'll get you some more donuts!
Hsu - What?More?I thought you said...
Chan - Not here.There are several boxes in the conference room downstairs,however.
Hsu - The Conference Room?!
Hsu - Chan,you can't go down there-- a meeting is in progress.Hordes of rich,fat,bald men wearing suits!When they see you,you'll be killed!
Chan - I correct you,my brother:"If they see me.".
*Chan now in a stealth suit(aka Metal Gear if you didn't know that)*
Chan - For I have..a stealth suit!
Hsu - Impressive!
Chan - It's actually a little snug in the forbidden zone,but is otherwise workable!
Hsu - Um..Why did you bring your stealth suit to the office?
Chan - "Be prepared" is my motto!
Chan - But enough talk,we've pastries to pilper!Do you have a floor plan of the building?
Hsu - Yeah,right here.I was using it as a napkin.Lemme just shake off the Cheez-its.
Chan - Okay,here we are.I'll take the ventilation shaft to the far end of the building,drop down into the men's room,follow the hall,and...
Chan - Say,what's this large brown room here?
Hsu - Um..a coffee stain.
Chan - Ah!That should be simple to avoid!I'm off!
Hsu - Hold on a second,Chan!I have something we can use to keep in contact during the operation!
Chan - What?
Hsu - It's a mini AN link!It's audio waves are tuned specifically to the bones of your inner ear.So that noone else can intercept the transmissions!
Chan - Wow!Really?
Hsu - Well,no,but you can turn the volume down real low!
Chan - All right,then,I'm off!
Hsu - Be brave,brother Chan!
Chan - Eek! A spider *crawling through a vent*
*Soon,Chan appears in the men's room*
Chan - Aha,the men's room!I would recognize that smell anywhere!Whoof!
Chan - Now,then,a mighty leap,and..
*Chan falls in the toilet,making a Sploosh sound*
Chan - Zoiks!
*AN Link COM*
Hsu - Chan!What is your status?
Chan - My boots are squishy,but I am unharmed.
Hsu - Good!You are about to enter the hall--Be careful not to be seen.Remember,you're naked out there!
Chan - Not quite,Hsu!I managed to bring my smokes!
Hsu - How did you do that?
Chan - In my stomach.I put them in a baggie and swallowed them!
Hsu - That's amazing,Chan!Very ingenuitive!Very...um...How do you get them back out?
Chan - Haven't the foggiest.
Chan - Hup!Someone just walked in the door!I think it's a guard!
Hsu - A guard,Chan?Are you sure it's a guard?I don't think the office even has the--
Chan - ARR!Die,terrorist scum!*WHACK**POP*
Hsu - Chan?
Chan - Uh,my mistake,it was just Abe Scott,from accounting.
Hsu - The skinny guy?
Chan - Yup,snapped like a twig.
Hsu - Hmm.Prop him up on the toilet,maybe noone will notice.
Chan - And now,my objective is in sight.The months of training,the lifetime of work,the eight weeks of mail-order harmonica lessons,they have all lead me to here and now.I only pray my disguise will not fail me!
*Chan grabs the cookie box and he pops out of the office's cabinet*
Chan - BWAHAHAHA
Guy 1 - I..Say,thad,Your filing cabinet seems to be stealing our donuts.
Thad - By jove!
*And thus..*
Hsu - Chan!You have returned!Um..I was just straightening your things!I didn't really think you were dead!Did you bring the donuts?
Chan - I did!
Hsu - Fantastic!They--uh..what happened to them?
Chan - I had to carry them in my pockets through the vent--They're still okay,just watch out for loose change.
Hsu - Ah well,donuts are donuts!Until next time,video gamers,remember,there's nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it,but you're less likely to screw it up if you send somebody else!Grab me a spoon,Chan!
Chan - Back off,I'm brooding!
The End