What can one say.. brith.. life.. love.. death.. It's all the same.. yet so different.. Each one is part of another..

I want to love.. to be in love.. to care about someone and want someone to care about me.. Don't you feel the samething too..

Not a day goes by when I don't consider dying.. Why am I alive.. why am I here?? What is my purpose.. am I alive so I can bask in the few moments of joy.. and crawl and writhe in the mass amounts of pain just to obtain a small speck of happiness..

Hmm.. I don't understand so much of what is going on in my life right now.. I feel like I have no wanting to do anything.. I think I am scared.. scared of failure.. I mean I have failed at so much already.. Yet.. for my age I have accomplished a good amount.. yet for the time span I have had.. I have so much things to do.. I need to stop looking at the past and start looking at the future.. where do I want to go.. what do I want to do.. who do I want to be.. all my friends are so sure of all these things.. yet.. I have no clue.. it's lonely.. I don't think my friends understand me.. I mean.. they do to a point.. yet.. I think they miss something.. something I am screaming.. at the same time masking.. because I'm not sure anyone wants to hear it.. I should go and lack for my future..

What is Love!? This unanswerable question stay in my mine for a long time.. util today i still wondering what is Love means? Exspecially today.. is my brithday.. I don't really want anything from anybody.. I just want her to call me out and be with me for a day but this just anyother hopeless daydream.. I know she is not going to call me, she will not.. I wish i never know her.. shouldn't met her at the first time but why did I have to met and know her.. Why my heart not fall in with someone that loves me?..why have to her?.. why fall in love with someone that doesn't love me?.. why have to be this day of time?... why my life keep playing this kind of game with me??.. I wish i can just forgot her just like that but i cann't ... I can not do it.. I try so many times to forgot her but How come my mine always flowing her lovely smile face..How come?... Why Why Why??? ...I think I better go to sleep now.. sleep is the only thing that can make me stop thinking of her.. if this the only way I wish i can sleep forever.. forever util she comes along and wake me up by a warm kiss.

One more qustion in mine that is ... Are you going to stay with the one whom loves or Are you going back to the you love?

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