Rob's Simpsons Site's Simpsons Song Lyrics page!!!

Simpsons Song Lyrics!!!

The Stonecutter's Song (Episode 2F09, Homer the Great)
Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the Metric System down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs the cavefish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do!

"We Are the Mediocre Presidents" (Episode 9F13, I Love Lisa)
We are the mediocre presidents!
You won't find our faces on dollars or on cents!
There's Taylor, there's Tyler, there's Fillmore, and there's Hayes!
There's William Henry Harrison, "I died in thirty days!"
We're the adequate, forgettable,
Occasionally regrettable, caretaker presidents of the U.S.A.!

Tony Bennett's Capital City Song (Episode 7F05, Dancin' Homer)
There's a swinging town I know called...
Capital City
People stop and scream hello in...
Capital City!
It's the kind of place that makes a bum feel like a king
And it makes a king feel like some nutty, coo-coo, super king
It's against the law to frown in...
Capital City!
You'll giggle like a stupid clown
When you chance to see 4th street and D!
Once you get a whiff of it, you'll never want to roam,
From Capital City, my home sweet-swingin'-home!

Michael Jackson's Birthday Song to Lisa (Episode 7F24, Stark Raving Dad)
Lisa, it's your birthday, God bless you this day
You gave me the gift of a little sister and I'm proud of you today
Lisa, it's your birthday, happy birthday Lisa, Lisa it's your birthday, happy birthday Lisa
I wish you love and goodwill, I wish you peace and joy
I wish you better than your heart desires and your first kiss from a boy
Lisa, it's your birthday, happy birthday Lisa, Lisa it's your birthday, happy birthday Lisa

The Flaming Moe's Song (Episode 8F08, Flaming Moe's)
When the weight of the world has got you down
And you want to end your life
Bills to pay, a dead-end job, and problems with the wife
But don't throw in the towel 'cause there's a place right down the block
Where you can drink your misery away
At Flaming Moe's, Let's all go to Flaming Moe's, Let's all go to Flaming Moe's
When liquor in a mug, can warm you like a hug
And happiness is just a Flaming Moe away, happiness is just a Flaming Moe away

"We're Sending Our Love Down the Well" (Episode 8F11, Radio Bart)
Sting: There's a hole in my heart
As deep as a well
For that poor little boy
Who's stuck halfway to hell
Sideshow Mel: Though we can't get him out
We'll do the next best thing
McBain: We'll go on TV and sing, sing, sing...
Choir: And we're sending our love down the well!
Krusty: All the way down!
Choir: We're sending our love down the well!
Krusty: Down that well!

Talkin' Softball by Terry Cashman (Episode 8F13, Homer at the Bat)
Well, Mr. Burns had doneit
The power plant had won it
With Roger Clemens clucking all the way
Mike Scioscia's tragic illness made us all smile
While Wade Boggs lies unconscious on the bathroom tile
We're talkin' softball, from Maine to San Diego, talkin' softball
Mattingly and Conseco, Ken Griffy's grotesquely swollen jaw
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law
We're talkin' Homer, Ozzie and the Straw
We're talkin softball, from Maine to San Diego, talkin' softball
Mattingly and Conseco, Ken Griffy's grotesquely swollen jaw
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law
We're talkin' Homer, Ozzie and the Straw

Lurleen's First Song (Episode 8F19, Colonel Homer)
You work all day, for some old man, you sweat and break your back
Then you go home to your castle, but your queen won't cut me slack
That's why you're losing all your hair, that's why you're overweight
That's why you flipped your pick-up truck right off the interstate
Now, you talk so tough and act so rough, but darlin' you can't hide
The heartache and the sadness, that's buried deep inside
There's a lot of bull they hand you, there's nothing you can do
Your wife don't understand you, but I do
No your wife don't understand, but I do
I said your wife don't understand you, but I do

"Oh! Streetcar!" (Episode 8F18, A Streetcar Named Marge)
Introduction: Long before the Superdome, where the Saints of football play...
Lived a city that the damned call home
Hear their hellish rondelet...
New Orleans!
Home of pirates, drunks, and whores
New Orleans!
Tacky, overpriced souvenir stores
If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip to Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississipi
New Orleans!
Stinking, rotting, vomiting, vile
New Orleans!
Putrid, brackish, maggoty, foul
New Orleans!
Crummy, lousy, rancid and rank
New Orleans!

Lisa's Protest Song (Episode 9F15, Last Exit to Springfield)
Come gather 'round children
It's high time ye learns
'Bout a hero named Homer and a Devil named Burns
We'll march 'til we drop, the girls and the fellas
We'll fight 'til we the death, or else fold like umbrellas
So we'll march day and night, by the big cooling tower
They have the plant, but we have the power

"Baby on Board" (Episode 9F21, Homer's Barbershop Quartet)
Baby on board, how I've adored
That sign on my car's windowpane
Bounce in my step, loaded with pep
'Cause I'm drivin' in the carpool lane
Call me square, friend I don't care
That little yellow sign can't be ignored
I'm tellin' you it's mighty nice
Each trip's a trip to paradise
With my baby on board

"Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?" (Episode 1F10, Homer and Apu)
Apu: Whether igloo, hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic dome
There's no structure which I'd rather call my home...
When I first arrived you were all such jerks, but now I've come to looove your quirks
Maggie with her eyes so bright, Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright
Lisa can philosophize, Bart's adept at spinning lies
Homer's a delightful fella, sorry 'bout the salmonella
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart, now here's the tricky part
Oh, won't you rhyme with me? Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart...
Marge: Their floors are sticky-mart!
Lisa: They made Dad sicky-mart!
Bart: Let's hurl a bricky-mart!
Homer: That Kwik-E-Mart is real-D'oh!
All: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Apu: Not me!

Tito Puente's "Slanderous Mambo" (Episode 2F20, Who Shot Mr. Burns? [Part Two])
Wounds won't last long, but an insulting song
Burns will always carry with him
So I'll settle my score, on the salsa floor
With this vengeful Latin rythym!
Burns! Con el corazon de perro!
Señor Burns! El diablo con dinero!
It may not surprise you, but all of us despise you
Please die and fy in hell, you rotten, rich, old wretch!
Adios viejo!

"Springfield, Springfield" (Episode 1F06, Boy-Scoutz N the Hood)
Bart and Milhouse: Springfield, Springfield! It's a hell of a town
The school yard's up and the shopping mall's down!
The stray dogs go to the animal pound!
Springfield, Springfield!
Springfield, Springfield!
Sailor: New York, New York!
Bart: New York is that-a-way, man
Sailor: Thanks, kid!
Bart and Milhouse: It's a hell-of-a-towwwnnn!!

Jebediah Springfield Theme" (Episode 3F13, Lisa the Iconoclast)
It's that team of Jebediah Springfield
Whip those horses, let that wagon roll
That a people might embiggen America
That a man might embiggen his soul, his soul, his souuuul!

"Cletus, The Slack-Jawed Yokel" (Episode 3F18, Twenty-Two Short Films About Springfield)
Some folks'll never eat a skunk,
But then again some folk'll
Like Cletus!
The slack-jawed yokel!
Some folks'll never break a toe
But then again some folk'll
Like Cletus!
The slack-jawed yokel!

"The Spring in Springfield" (Episode 4F06, Bart After Dark)
Homer: You could close down Moe's, Or the Kwik-E-Mart
And nobody would care, but the heart and soul of Springfield's in our Maison Derriere!
Belle: We're the sauce on your steak, We're the cheese in your cake, We put the spring in Springfield
Dancing Girl 1: We're the lace on the nightgown
Dancing Girl 2: The point after touchdown,
Belle and Dancing Girls: Yes we put the spring in Springfield.
Belle: We're that little extra spice that makes existence extra-nice,
a giddy little thrill at a reasonable price
Lovejoy: Our only major quarrel's with your total lack of morals
Dancing Girl 3: Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad
Dancing Girl 4: They seem to entertain your dad!
Belle and Dancing Girls: The gin in your martini, The clams on your linguine,
Yes we keep the (Belle flicks Bumblebee Man's antenna) In Springfield!
Wiggum, Krusty, and Skinner: We remember our first visit,
Mayor Quimby: The service was exquisite!
Mrs Quimby: Why Joseph, I had no idea!
Mayor Quimby: Come on now, you were working here!
Grampa and Jasper: Without it we'd have had no fun Since March of 1961!
Bart: To shut it down now would be twisted,
Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney: We just heard this place existed!
Dancing Girls: We're the highlights in your hairdo,
Apu: The extra arms on Vishnu,
Dancing Girls: So don't take the (Barney opens a Krusty-in-the-box)
Mob: We won't take the (Sideshow Mel blows on his slide-whistle)
Everyone: Yes let's keep the (Moe crashes two garbage can lids together) In Springfield!
(Krusty hits his face with a pie, Willy accidentally hits Lenny in the head with a sledgehammer, Wiggum and the Comic Book Guy bounce their bellies together, Burns honks the horn on his antique car, Cap'n MacAllister reels in a fish, and Barney burps.)

"Scorpio" (Episode 3F23, You Only Move Twice)
Scorpio!
He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth.
Beware of Scorpio!
His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
And his employees' health.
He'll welcome you into his lair,
Like the nobleman welcomes his guest.
With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest!
But beware of his generous pensions,
Plus three weeks paid vacation each year,
And on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer!
He loves German beer!

"I'm An Amendment" (Episode 3F16, The Day the Violence Died)
Kid: Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of Congress?
Amendment: I'm not garbage.
I'm an amendment-to-be, yes an amendment-to-be,
And I'm hoping that they'll ratify me.
There's a lot of flag-burners,
Who have got too much freedom,
I want to make it legal
For policemen to beat'em.
'Cause there's limits to our liberties,
At least I hope and pray that there are,
'Cause those liberal freaks go too far.
Kid: But why can't we just make a law against flag-burning?
Amendment: Because that law would be unconstitutional. But if we changed the Constitution...
Kid: Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws!
Amendment: Now you're catching on!
Kid: What if people say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?
Amendment: Then I'll crush all opposition to me, And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay.
If he fights back, I'll say that he's gay.
Congressman: Good news, Amendment! They ratified ya! You're in the US Constitution!
Amendment: Oh yeah!

If there are any songs that you would like to see posted on this page, please tell me the name if you know it, or describe the song or episode situation in the box below, and I'll try to have it posted soon. Thank You!

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