PART TWENTY NINE

***RECAP: Lauren’s eyes filled with tears, as she realized the harsh reality of it all. "Maybe if I...?" she started tearily, but was cut off again by Brian, "Lauren, it’s over."***

"How can you say that?" Lauren said darkly, hiding her impending tears, "how can you wash four years down the drain like that?!"

"It’s not as easy as it looks, but trust me, it’s possible," Brian answered, fidgeting with the sleeve of his sweatshirt, not looking Lauren in the eye. A tear fell from her eye, as she witnessed Brian fall apart before her eyes. He used to be such a cool, crazy guy....definitely the craziest in the group. He always had a funny joke or a comical look on his face, but now he was stuck in his world of harsh reality.

"I don’t care what you say, Brian!" Lauren burst out suddenly, as the tears continued to fall, "I’m going to see AJ, and I’m going to try to work things out! It’s my fault that this is happening to you, and I’m going to fix it! It can’t be worse than it already is, and I’m not gonna sit here and watch your lives fall apart because of me!"

With that, she reopened the front door and walked outside, shutting it on her way out. Brian stood there, stunned and speechless. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes. It was true that he had felt some sort of resentment toward Lauren for indirectly screwing things up, but he was more sad now, than anything. He knew she was sorry, and now he was just upset.

*************************

Lauren paced outside AJ’s huge house. She brought her finger to the doorbell, but pulled it away before she could ring it. ‘This is a very, very bad idea,’ her conscience told her. He hands began to shake as she walked back and forth in front of his front door. She drew in a deep breath. "Do it, Lauren," she said out loud, sternly to herself, as she rung the doorbell.

The instant she rung it, she almost instinctively ran away, hoping that AJ wouldn’t see her, but her feet stood planted on his front doorstep. She also was pretty sure he was home, as his car was in the driveway.

She could hear the bell echo throughout his large house. Her palms began to sweat and every second that went by made her more and more nervous. All of a sudden, the door swung open, and there stood AJ in a pair of grey sweat pants and a white tank top.

It took more than a couple seconds for AJ to comprehend just what was going on, but when he did, his eyes grew wide with fear. "Hi AJ," was all she could say, trying not to let her fear show through her voice.

"What exactly are you doing here?" he was finally able to choke out, staring incredulously at her through the doorway. "I’m here to fix things," she said, faking her security.

AJ shook his head. "Haven’t you had enough fun?" he said disgustedly, glaring at Lauren, "didn’t you get enough satisfaction when you ruined my life and split up the best thing I had to live for?!"

Lauren stepped back, her breath catching in her throat. ‘Stay strong,’ her mind told her, but her body was saying otherwise. Tears welled up in her eyes for the second time that day, as she felt her heart almost being ripped out of her chest. However, she didn’t let it bring her down. "You think I did this purposely?! You think I wanted my whole life to change in front of my eyes?! If you honestly believe that I ASKED to be born without a dad or a family, you are seriously mistaken!" she shouted back.

AJ made a noise. "This sympathy thing isn’t going to work on me, ya know," he retorted back, "if YOU think I’m gonna feel fucking sorry for you, then YOU are seriously mistaken as well! You waltzed into my life, became my friend, and then told me you were my sister?! How did you expect me to take that, huh?! You knew I had feelings for you, Lauren!"

"It wasn’t easy trying to tell you!" she shouted tearily, "I wanted to tell you right away, but I didn’t think you’d believe me...and I didn’t want to mess things up! I know I shouldn’t have waited so long, but it was too hard..." she trailed off.

AJ looked away. Lauren almost though he was going to break and try to smooth things over, but it was a thought too good to be true. "When I said I needed to not be around you, I wasn’t joking," he said darkly, "and I’m not sugar coating it at all.....the main reason the Backstreet Boys broke up was because we all had our differences, and they all revolved around you."

"That’s impossible!" she cried, as the tears now began to fall, "how could I by myself cause the downfall of the Backstreet Boys?! It’s just impossible!"

"You’d think," he said sarcastically, holding back his own tears, "but when there’s one person whose life has been affected negatively by you, and another person who is infatuated with you, it causes conflict."

"But...." Lauren sobbed, but stopped when all of AJ’s words sunk in. "Infatuated?" she asked meekly, "what are you talking about?"

"Never mind," he snapped back, "it was a nice try, but nothing’s gonna get the Backstreet Boys back together....nothing." With that, he closed the door, leaving Lauren standing on the front step, crying.

She leaned against the side of the house as her tears overtook her. Her whole body shook with silent sobs that seemed to come from nowhere.

AJ shut the door, and leaned against the wall of his front hall. His hands shook with fear and sadness, and the tears that had been lingering in his eyes finally fell in a silent stream down his cheeks. He sniffed loudly, as the tears continued to fall. "Goddamn it," he sobbed, grabbing on to the wall for support, unable to control himself, "why?"

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