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cArToOn ChArAcTeRs oN dRuGs
Top Ten Drug Using Cartoon Suspects
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10. Gargamel (the Smurfs)
Most likely LSD. Spends his life in pursuit of little blue guys in sissy white outfits and
mentally abusing his cat. What does he catches them anyway?
9. Olive Oyl
Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines. Who is that skinny?! She might even be
anorexic, she IS always giving her burger to her friend. One side question, what the hell
are Popeye and Brutus thinking? They almost made the list for courting her.
8. Snagglepuss
Can't explain it. Maybe it's the name, or the look, but he is suspicious.
7. He-Man
This is an easy one. I mean c'mon. Roid monkey #1. "BY THE POWER OF
ANABOL!!!!!!" Makes me want to root for Skeletor. Alone in his castle, hitting the
weights. And on top of that he even injects the shit in his pet tiger. Animal Abuse.
6.& 5. Yogi and Boo Boo
We all know what is really in those picnic baskets. They go back to the cave and trip.
Another side ? - Are they gay? I mean, take a look at BooBoo. Not that there's anything
wrong with that.....
4. Droopy
The number one downer abuser in toon land. Can't someone slip him an upper every year or
two. The only time I ever saw him happy is when he sees the picture of the babe.
3. Dopey (Dwarf)
He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny involvement but they are under investigation.
Allegations are that Doc is writing some extra 'scripts' for Sneezy and all the guys
partaking are afloat.
2. Daffy Duck
If he isn't using crack, Marion Barry is clean. He is so wired he bounces around on his
head without pain. Blows his beak off all the time. Some symptoms might be from
"daffiness" but Haldol wouldn't work for him. Might for his buddy with
Tourettes, Porky, though.
1. Shaggy
By far the #1 suspect. His clothes, his hair, his bad goatee, the boy converses with dogs.
But all of this is nothing until you go to the Munchie Factor. Anybody who averages 9.3
scooby snacks consumed per episode smokes pot. And look at the way he and his friends
painted that van!
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