| |
THE GRAVY LADLE
An elderly priest invited a young priest over for dinner. During the meal the young priest
couldn't help noticing how attractive and shapely the housekeeper was.
Over the course of the evening he started to wonder if there was more between the elderly
priest and the housekeeper than met the eye.
Reading the young priest's thoughts, the elderly priest volunteered, "I know what you
must be thinking, but I assure you, my relationship with my housekeeper is purely
professional."
About a week later, the housekeeper came to the elderly priest and said,
"Father, ever since the young Father came to dinner I have been unable to find the
beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't
suppose he took it, do you?" The priest said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write
him a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Father, I'm not saying that you 'did' take a gravy
ladle from my house, and I'm not saying that you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the
fact remains that one has been
missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, the elderly priest received a letter from the young priest which read,
"Dear Father, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with your housekeeper, and I'm not
saying that you do not' sleep with your housekeeper."
"But, the fact remains, that if you were sleeping in your own bed, you would have
found the gravy ladle by now." |
Funnies
"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes
you an automobile." - Billy Sunday
You ~might~ be becoming too fundamentalish when...
* You pronounce "sin" with two syllables.
* You enjoy talking to people in King James English.
* You are building your own pulpit for your living room.
* You think hair tonic is Biblical.
* You find June Cleaver attractive.
* You believe Moses should have shaved.
* You have a portrait of Sodom and Gomorrah, the day after they were nuked.
* You pronounce it "Bab-tist."
* You scrawl Bible verses on the bathroom walls at Shoney's.
* You thought Back to the Future was a movie about Biblical Prophecy.
* You store tracts in your cellular phone carrying case.
* You can trace Saddam Hussein's genealogy to Nebuchadnezzar.
* You wish you could preach like Louis Farrakhan.
* You know that unscrambling "Santa" is "Satan."
* You exchange any currency that has three 6's in a row.
* You think credit cards are a tool of the devil to identify you to the Anti-Christ.
* You think that bar codes are demonic.
* You think that Gregorian Chants are a tool of the devil
* You think Victoria's Secret is an Illuminati conspiracy.
* You know the writing on the Statue of Liberty's tablet was put there by a Mason, in an
Illuminati conspiracy.
* You have a chart of the hidden symbols of the dollar bill.
* You think Jerry Falwell is liberal.
* You think Deviled ham is a conspiracy of the Illumnati.
* You call Israel "the Holy Land."
* You think a modem is a tool of the devil.
* You think Charlton Heston was great in the Ten Commandments ...but you repent of
watching it because movies are a tool of the devil.
* You pronounce "repent" as "rheeeee-paint!"
* You say Amen more than once an hour.
* You pray so long your food gets cold.
* You argue Pat Buchanan is misunderstood.
* You have a fish on the back of your car, your boat, your bicycle and your
briefcase...you'd get a tattoo, but they're tools of the devil.
* Your wife puts a scripture tract in your lunch.
* You have your name stamped on your 10+ Bibles.
* You know four Greek words for love and their different usages.(Agape, Agapao, Eros &
Phileo)
* You name your children after the apostles.
* You become an Amway dealer to evangelize in disguise.
|
Your are the  person to
laugh at this page as of 9/26/98
Ha...Ha... Ha... Ha. Ha. Ha.....Ha.....Ha..
|
