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Joke Sublect Listing |
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Dogy Style
I've got a great one for you. When I was back in high school I had a date one Saturday
night with a Methodist preachers daughter. The reason we were going out was because she
had this great body and was known to be one of the best kissers in the school. I came over
to pick her up and the parents escorted me into the living room while she finished getting
ready. In those days, most of the homes had picture windows (bay windows) in the living
room. We were sitting there talking, me, the
preacher and his wife when she entered the room in a pair of tight bell bottom hip huggers
and a tube top. She had beautiful breasts, which were by all standards rather good size
for her age. She bent over to pick up her purse and low and behold,.... one fell out of
her tube top!
Not wanting the evening to be canceled I quickly thought of something and stated to the
preacher and his wife, "Look, out in the yard". Much to my dismay when the
preacher and his wife turned to look out the window, and my date re-inserted her breast
into the tube top, out in the front yard were two dogs FUCKING! We still went out and had
one of the best times of our lives; but damn was I embarrased! And we never went out
again.
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#1 Give this one a title.
"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up
energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of
disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving
*right now*, she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you
don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last
night!' "The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers
stopped what they were doing!
I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter"
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#2 Give this one a title.
"It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents
had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone.
"As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I
suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't
want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of
the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, 'SURPRISE!' My
entire family - aunts, uncles, Grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing
there! My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what
seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party
again."
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#3 Give this one a title.
One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon in a long
time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her
embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to
hear: "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE." That was bad enough,
but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "tampax"
for "THUMBTACKS."
In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: "DO YOU WANT THE KIND
YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
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#4 Give this one a title.
Australian Police have been unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam:
A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply imported hard
core pornographic videos. As
their prices seem reasonable, people place orders and make payments via check.
After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the present law they
are unable to supply the materials and
do not wish to be prosecuted. So they return their customers' money in the form of a
company check.
However, due to the name of the company, few people ever bother to present these to their
banks. The name of the company:
'The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company'.
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