Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the light bulb has to really WANT to change.

Q: How many paranoids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: WHO WANTS TO KNOW?

Q: How many schizophrenics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1/2.

Q: How does an egotist change a light bulb?
A: He holds on and waits for the world to revolve around him.

Q: How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. No, 2 ... Wait, 4 ... No, 8 ...

Q: How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, unless the bulb is in the women's restroom.

Q: How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, unless the bulb is in the women's restroom.

Q: How many executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's a very good question; thank you for asking.

Q: How many safety inspectors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change it and four to hold the ladder.

Q: How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None; it will come back on by itself.

Q: How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It can't be done.

Q: How long does it take a pragmatist to change a light bulb?
A: Until sunset.

Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: About 1.132.

Q: How long does it take a mathematician to change a light bulb?
A: 20 seconds.
Q: How long does it take a mathematician to change two light bulbs?
A: 20 seconds, since as soon as the first bulb is changed, the problem has been reduced to the previous case.

Q: Does Bill Clinton change his own light bulbs?
A: Yes and no. He "changes them", but he never "screws them in".

Q: Does Al Gore change his own light bulbs?
A: Without question. After all, he invented them.

Q: Does Bill Bradley change his own light bulbs?
A: Who?

Q: Do George W. Bush and John McCain change their own light bulbs?
A: No, they just sit in the dark and argue over who wants them changed the most.