Fits of Selfish Passion

  After Scarlett and Charles' wedding the reception held was grand. The room was lit by many candles and illuminated Scarlett's pale face with dark shadows. As she stood in front of the recieving line by the mantleplace, clad in her mother's oversized wedding dress, to greet the guests, Charles stood beaming in his troop uniform.

    Melanie walked quitely up to Scarlett and kissed her softly on the cheek. "Scarlett, I thought of you at our wedding yesterday and hoped yours would be as beautiful. And it was."

   Scarlett was in a trance and she responded like a sleepwalker. "Was it?"

   Melanie nodded her head. "Now we're really and truly sisters."

   As Melanie moved forward toward Charles, Ashley approached her. Scarlett's eyes filled with tears as he let his lips graze her cheek briefly and walked off embarassed. As he gribbed Melanies arm and walked off, he avoided her eyes. Charles grasped her hand tightly and mistook the cause of her sobs. "Don't cry, darling. The war will be over in a few weeks and I'll be coming back to you."

    As she turned to face him her sobs grew even louder.

       Within a short time, Scarlett was a widow, clad in black garments, her least favorite color. So when Mammy caught her trying on a colorful hat and veil, she scolded her severly.

       "Miss Scarlett!" said Mammy in shock.

       "Well, I don't care-I'm too young to be a widow!"

       "Miss Scarlett!" said Mammy again, more sternly this time

       Scarlett took off the bonnet and put on the black one. "Oh-oh-I'd just go around scaring people in that thing."

       "You ain't supposed to be around people. You'se in mourning."  

        "For what!" she exclaimed throwing herself on the bed in her room. "I don't feel anything. Why do I have to pretend and pretend?" she asked sobbing hysterically.

        Ellen entered the room quitely. "Baby, what is it?" she asked.

        "My life's over-Nothing will ever happen to me any more," moaned Scarlett. "Oh, Mother, I know you'll think I'm horrible. But I can't bear going around in black. It's bad enough not being able to go to any parties-but looking this way, too-"

 "I don't think you're at all horrible. It's only natural to want to look young and be young, when you are young. Oh, Baby," she said draping her arm around Scarlett, "how would you like to go visiting somewhere? Savannah, perhaps?

  "What would I do in Savannah?" asked Scarlett still sobbing.

  "Well, Atlanta then. There's lots going on there, and you could stay with Melanie and her Aunt Pittypat-"

   Scarlett pondered this option for a minute and said, "Melanie! Yes. Yes, I could, couldn't I? Oh, Mother, you're sweet to me, sweeter than anybody in the world." As she hugged Ellen she glanced over at Mammy's face which was colored with disgust, for Mammy knew what was going through Scarlett's mind.

   "You'd like it, really?" asked Ellen. Scarlett nodded her head slowly as Ellen said, "All right then. Now stop your crying and smile. You can take Prissy with you." She turned to Mammy and said, "Start packing Miss Scarlett's things, Mammy. I'll go write the necessary letters" Then Ellen walked out of the room.

   "Savannah would be better for you. You'll jus' git in trouble in Atlanta..." said Mammy grimly.

   "What trouble are you talking about?" asked Scarlett with a guilty note in her voice.

   "You know what trouble Ah's talkin' 'bout. I'se talkin' about Mistuh Ashley Wilkes. He'll be comin' to Atlant when he gets his leave-and you sittin' there waitin' fo' him- jes like a spider. He belongs to Miss Melanie and..."

    Scarlett interupted her lecture icily. "You go pack my things like Mother said."

        In Atlanta that night was a great bazaar. The armory drill room was decorated for the occasion. Around the walls were tiny booths with Atlanta girls in attendence on their customers. The floor was filled with the bright colors of frocks and the many different uniforms of the men from different legions. Lit by candlesticks and decorated by flag bunting and ivy vines, the room was a perfect setting for the bazaar. The great picture of Jefferson Davis and Alec Stephens added pride and honor to the atmosphere of the room.

       This was the first party that Scarlett had been allowed to attend since she was widowed and all that she wanted to do was dance the night away. That was off limits. Why, she was a new widow who shouldn't even be thinking about those things! But as she waited behind the booth, her eyes closed and her feet moved underneath her black mourning gown to the rythem of the music playing.

"They're all whispering, and I just know it's about her," complained Aunt Pittypat to Melanie. "And for a widow to appear in public at a social gathering! Every time I think of it I feel faint!"

   Dr. Meade stepped forward onto the stage with a piece of paper in his hand. "I have important news-glorious new. Another triumph for our magnificent men in arms. General Lee has completley whipped the enemy and swept the Yankee army northward from Virginia!"

  After the applause died down he continued. "And now-a happy surprise for all of us..We have with us tonight that most daring of all blockade runners, whose fleet of schooners, slipping past the Yankee guns, have brought to us here the very woolens, silks, and laces we where tonight. I refer, ladies and gentelemen, to that will-o'-the-wisp of the bounding main, none other than our friend from Charleston-Captain Rhett Butler."

   Scarlett was startled. She had never expected to see Rhett Butler again. The memory of that day at Twelve Oaks came back to her, bringing color to her cheek when she though of his emerging from the back of the couch.

Rhett approached her way and Scarlett tried to slip into the booth so she could avoid his eyes. But her skirt got caught on a board and Rhett detatched it for her. "Permit me," he said with a wink.

    Melanie walked over to Rhett. "Captain Butler, it's such a pleasure to see you again. I met you last at my husband's home-"

    "It's kind of you to remember, Mrs. Wilkes," he said, taking her hand gravely.

Then he turned to Scarlett. "May I offer you my sympath on your bereavement? I heard of your marriage. As brief as it was-sudden."

   "Thank you," said Scarlett sensing his mockery.

   A basket carrier approached them. "Ladies, the Confederacy asks for your jewelry...on behalf of our noble Cause."

   "We're not wearing any. We're in mourning," said Scarlett.

   "Wait!" called Rhett. He removed a gold cigar case from his pocket. "On behalf of Mrs. Wilkes and Mrs. Hamilton."

   "Just a moment, please," said Melanie softly. She removed her wedding ring from her finger and dropped it in the basket. "Here, it may help my husband more-off my finger."

   "That was a very beautiful thing to do, Mrs. Wilkes," said Rhett sincerely.

    "Here-you can have mine, too- for the Cause," said Scarlett jerking her ring off her finger, waiting for praise from Rhett.

    "And you, Mrs. Hamilton. I know just how much that means to you," he said with a mocking tone.

 When Melanie was talking with Dr. Meade Rhett turned to Scarlett and said, "Well, I'll say one thing-the War makes the most peculiar widows."

Rhett's talk with Scarlett  

 "I wish you'd go away! If you'd had any raising, you'd know I never wanted to see you again," replied an annoyed Scarlet.

   "Now, why be silly-you've no reason for hating me. I'll carry your guilty secret to my grave."

    Scarlett began speaking sarcastically, yet more friendly when she said, "Oh, I guess I'd be very unpatriotic to hate one of the great heroes of the war, Captain Butler. I do declare, I was surprised that you should turn out to be such a noble character."

   Rhett laughed slightly. "I can't bear to take advantage of your little-girl ideas, Miss O'Hara. But I'm neither noble nor heroic."

   "But you are a blockade runner..." began Scarlet surprised.

   "For profit-and profit only-"

    "Are you trying to tell me you don't believe in the Cause, Captain Butler?" she asked, shocked.

    "I believe in Rhett Butler. He's the only Cause I know. The rest doesn't mean much to me," Rhett said.

Rhett's Idea About the Cause  

    Dr. Meade stepped forward on the stage for the second time that night. "And now, ladies and gentlemen, a startling surprise for the benefit of the hospital. Gentlemen, if you wish to lead the opening reel with the lady of your choice-you must bargain for her!"

   Gasps and giggles went up from the girls and a Rebel Yell was sounded from across the room. "Come, gentlemen. Do I hear your bids? Make your offers. Don't be bashful, gentlemen."

   "Twenty dollars-twenty dollars for Miss Maybelle Merriwether," shouted Rene Picard.

   "Twenty-five dollars for Miss Fanny Elsing!" shouted another officer.

   Rhett strolled casually up to the stage. "One hundred fifty dollars in gold!" he said.

   "For what lady, sir?" asked Dr. Meade.

   "For Mrs. Charles Hamilton," he said.

   Gasps flew through the hair and the laughter stopped. "For whom, sir?" asked Dr. Meade.

   "Mrs. Charles Hamilton." repeated Rhett.

   "She will not consider it, Sir," said Dr. Meade with an annoyed tone.

   "Oh, yes, I will!" said Scarlett tossing her head in the air.

   After the gasps died down, the fiddler on stage said, "Choose yo' partners fo' de Verginny reel!"

Rhett's Bid

"Well, we've sort of shocked the Confederacy, Scarlett."

"It's a little bit like blockade running, isn't it?" she asked.

"It's worse," he said grabbing her. "But I except a very fancy profit out of it-"

 "I don't care what you expect and I don't care what they think. I'm going to dance and dance. Tonight I wouldn't mind dancing with Abe Lincoln himself!"

Several Dances Later....

"You're the most beautiful dancer I ever held in my arms," said Rhett.

"Another dance and my reputation will be lost forever," replied Scarlett worried.

"If you've enough courage, you can do without a reputation," he exclaimed.

"You do waltz divinely, Captain Butler, " she drawled flirtatiously.

"Don't start flirting with me. I'm not one of your plantation beaux. I want more than flirting from you," he warned her.

"What do you want?" she asked coquettishly.

"I'll tell you, Scarlett O'Hara...Someday I want you to say to me the words I heard you say to Ashley Wilkes...I love you."

"That's something you'll never hear from me, Rhett Butler, as long as you live," she said triumphantly.

  "How sweet, how kind. He is a thoughtful gentleman," said Melanie.

  "Fiddle-dee-dee, why doesn't he say something about my sacrifice?" exclaimed Scarlett.

    The green bonnet Rhett brought Scarlett from Paris was a darling little thing. When she opened the box she said to him, "Oh, Rhett, it's lovely-just lovely. You didn't really bring it all the way from Paris just for me? Oh-"

    "Yes, I thought it was time I got you out of that fake mourning. Next trip I'll bring you some green silk for a frock to match," he explained.

    "Oh, Rhett!" she exclaimed in joy.

    Taking out a cigar from a new case he said, "It's my duty to the brave boys at the front to keep the girls at home looking pretty.

  As she went to the mirror to put it on she decided to play a trick on Rhett. She put the bonnet on backwards and said, "How do I look?"

  "Awful!" said Rhett dismayed. "The war's stopped being a joke when a girl like you doesn't even know how to wear the latest fashions."

  "Oh!" she said as Rhett readjusted the bonnet.

 Suddenly he caught onto her game and began laughing. "Oh Rhett, let me do it," she said laughing herself. "But, Rhett, I don't know how I'll dare to wear it!"

"You will, though. And another thing...those pantalettes," he said shaking his head. "I don't know a women in Paris who wears pantalettes any more.

Eagerly and impatiently she said, "Oh , what do they- You shouldn't talk about such things."

"You little hypocrite! You don't mind my knowing about them-just my talking about them," he exclaimed with a chuckle

"But, Rhett, I can't keep on accepting these gifts from you. Although you are awful kind," she said looking at the bonnet with a hankering feeling.

"I'm not kind. I'm just tempting you. I never give anything without expecting someting in return. I always get paid," he warned her.

"Well, if  you think I'll marry you just to pay for the bonnet, I won't!" cried Scarlett.

"Don't flatter yourself," said Rhett droping his arms and laughing, walking toward the window. "I'm not a marrying man."

 "Well, I won't kiss you for it either," said Scarlett following him with provocative and flirtatious glances.

 He took her in his arms and she lifted her mouth up to his as if ready to be kissed. Rhett stared for several seconds and then said, "Open our eyes and look at me."

 Scarlett opened her eyes and Rhett shook his head while saying, "No..I don't think I will kiss you. Although you need kissing-badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed-and often-and by someone who knows how."

 "And I suppose you think you're the proper person!" remarked Scarlett, embarassed.

 "Mmm...I might be..if the right moment ever came..."

 "You're a black-hearted, conceited varmint, and I don't know why I let you come to see me," she pouted.

Rhett and Scarlett's conversation  

"I'll tell you why, Scarlett. Because I'm the only man over sixteen and under sixty who's around to show you a good time. But cheer up- the war can't last much longer."

 "Oh really, Rhett. Why?" she asked eagerly.

 "There's a little battle going on right now that ought to pretty well fix things-one way or another," he said soberly.

 "Oh, Rhett....Rhett....tell me....Is Ashley in it?" asked Scarlett with an anxious tone.

 "So you still haven't gotton the wooden-headed Mr. Wilkes out of your mind? Yes, I suppose he's in it," said Rhett with a disgusted tone as he picked up his hat.

 "Oh, but tell me, Rhett," called Scarlett running after him. "Please...where is it?"

 "Some little town in Pennsylvania-called Gettysburg," he said as he walked out the door, closing it behind him defiantly.

Hushed and grim,
Atlanta turned painful eyes toward
the far-away little town of Gettysburg...
and a page of history watied
for three days while
two nations came to death grips
on the farm lands of Pennsylvania...

 As the casualty lists in Atlanta were handed out, the mourns of those who had lost their loved ones were painful for all, heard even above the noise of the band playing Dixie.

The South's Anthem, Dixie

Melanie herself was unable to look at the casualty lists and prayed as Scarlett read down the names, "Wilkins-Williams-Woolsey-Workman-"

 "Scarlett, you've passed him," cried Melanie with a relieved gasp, but her voice died down when she saw Mrs. and Dr. Meade grieving for the loss of their older son. "I must go to her," said Melanie.

 As she made her way to the carriage of the Meade's she heard her younger son Phil say, "Mother, I'm going to enlist! I'll show them! I'll kill all those Yankees!"

 Melanie climbed into the carriage and took Mrs. Meade into her arms. "Phil Meade, you hush your mouth! Do you think it will help your mother to have you off getting shot, too? I never heard of anything so silly."

 As she comforted Mrs. Meade, Rhett's horse found it's way over to Scarlett. "It's a black day, Scarlett. You haven't had any bad news, have you?

 "Ashley's safe, "she told him.

 With sincerity in his voice, Rhett said, "I'm glad...for Mrs. Wilkes sake."

 "But there are so many other...the Tarleton boys, Rhett-both of them," she said, her voice breaking.

 "Look at them-all these poor, tragic people! It's the South sinking to it's knees. It will never rise gain. The Cause-the Cause of living in the past-is dying right in front of us," he said softly.

 "I've never heard you talk like that before," said Scarlett in surprise.

 "I'm angry. Waste always makes me angry! And that's what all this is. Sheer wast. But don't you be downcast. Ashley Wilkes is still alive to come home to the women who love him-both of them."

 On the day that Ashley was to come home, Melanie and Scarlett greeted him at the train station. "Oh, you're...here...you're really here! At last! Oh-my dear, I've waited so long."

 But when he approached Scarlett, she tried to smile but a tear interfered. Finally she forced the words, "Merry Christmas, Ashley," from her mouth.

   At the house that night Ashley was presented with his present from Melanie; a brand new tunic. As they walked up the stairs Melanie said with slight anxiousness, "Oh, you will take care of it, won't you? You won't let it get-torn? Promise me!"

  "You musn't worry," said Ashley. "I'll bring it back to you without any holes in it, I promise."

  As they tenderly held hands Scarlett watched them with envy from the bottom of the stairs. "Goodnight, my dear," he called to her.

  "Goodnight, Scarlett, darling," Melanie said as she threw her a kiss.

  Opening her lips slightly, Scarlett's sad lips could utter no response.

 The next morning Scarlett woke up early to see Ashley to the train station. But when she begged him to come along he simply said, "Oh, Scarlett, I'd rather remember you as you are now-not shivering at the depot."

 "All right," she said, but then her face brightened slightly. "Ashley, I've got a present for you too!"

 When he followed her into the living room she presented him with a yellow silk sash. "You made it yourself? Then I'll value it all the more," he said.

 "You know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you," said Scarlett.

 "There's something you can do for me. Will you look after Melanie for me? She's so frail and gentle-and she loves you so much. You see, if I were killed and she had-"

 "Oh, you musn't say that! It's bad luck. Say a prayer, quickly," answered Scarlett.

 "You say one for me. We shall need our prayers now the end is coming."

 "The end?" asked a puzzled Scarlett.

 "The end of the war. And the end of our world, Scarlett," he said.

 "But, Ashley, you don't think the Yankees are beating us!" she said sitting down.

 "The Yankees have beaten us. Gettysburg was the beginning of the end, only people here don't know it yet," he said moving away from her. "Oh, Scarlett, my men are barefooted now, and the snow in Virginia is deep. when I see them, and I see the Yankees coming and coming, always moe and more- Well, when the end does come, I shall be far away. Even if I'm alive. Too far to look our for Melanie, " he explained sitting beside Scarlett. "It's a comfort to me to know that she has you. You will promise, won't you?

 "Yes. Is-is that all, Ashley?" she asked dully.

 "All except-good-bye," he said standing up.

 "Oh, Ashley-I can't let you go," she wailed.

 "You must be brave-"

 "No!"

 "You must-"

 "No!"

 "How else can I bear going? Oh, Scarlett-you're so fine and strong and beautiful. Not just you sweet face, my dear, but you-"

 As he stepped off to leave, Scarlett said, "Kiss me. Kiss me good-bye."

 He kissed her lightly on the forehead and then reached for her lips in a strangling grip. As they embraced for several seconds, he pulled away from her quickly. "No, Scarlett. No," he said.

 "Oh, Ashley, I love you! I've always loved you! I've never loved anyone else! I only married Charles just to hurt you. Oh, Ashley, tell me you love me. I'll live on it all the rest of my life!"

 And to her he simply answered, "Good-bye."

 As she watched him walk away and heard the front door closing, she pressed her face to the window. "When the war's over, Ashley! When the war's over!"

Onward....