Please no one freak out, this is just a little joke. Don't take it seriously, and if you clicked here to see if you could use anything on this page, go ahead. Have fun reading, it's a little long but worth it.

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance
to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. No animals
where hurt during, before or after the making of these pages. Void
where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately
by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during
shipment. Only use as directed. No other warranty expressed or
implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy
equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval.
This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area.
May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for
additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All
models over 18 years of age. If condition persists contact physician.
No user-serviceable parts inside. Fresh if eaten before date on
carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated
picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking
seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As
seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a
substantial mount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time
fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery
when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red
Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edit for television. Keep cool; process
promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was
current at time of printing. Return to sender , no forwarding order on
file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect,
incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error
or failure to preform. At participating locations only. Not the
Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial
penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling
rock. Lost tickets pay maximum rate. Your canceled check is your
receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin.
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Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the
Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of
dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be
present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase
necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
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Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for
veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax is deductible.
Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No
Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this
time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol,
dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant
package, not for resale. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free
number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some
of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification
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This supersedes all previous notices. No Microsoft products where use
before, during and after the creation of these pages. Your mileage may
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area. Employees must wash hands. Open other end. Do not use if seal is
broken. Sold by weight, not by volume.