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http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Mansion/9479/
Joke of the Week (4-4-10-99)
The Ms. Right Rejection Letter Form
Dear
[____rejectee's name here_____], I regret to inform you that you
have been eliminated from further contention as Ms. Right. As you
are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and
dozens of well qualified candidates such as yourself also failed
to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file
should an opening become available. So that you may find better
success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to
offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the
competition:
[Check all those that apply] ___ Your stomach is bigger than
mine.
___ Your name is objectionable subjecting my future children to
it could scar and yes, scare them for life.
___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy shoes by the
truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for
something other than my personality.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20
questions about yourself before you asked me one.
___ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you big boy?"
comment, given the 9 months pregnant size of your beer gut, was
inappropriate.
___ You failed the faithful check.
___ I find your inability to cook & clean my house
extraordinarily unappealing.
___ The fact that you live with your Mother reveals an inherent
psychological syndrome that I fear is unbreakable.
___ The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often
in conversation.
___ You mention your ex-boyfriends name more than you mention
mine.
___ Three words: looks does matter.
Sincerely, [Your name here]