1.Don`t cut your hair. EVER!!!.
2.Sometimes, we`re not thinking about you. Live with it.
3.Sunday = Sports
4.If you think your fat, you probably are. So please don`t ask us.
5.Anything you wear is fine. Really.
6.Women wearing Wonder Bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
7.You have too many shoes.
8.Crying is blackmail.
9.Learn to work the toilet seat; If its up, put it down.
10.Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don`t work
11.Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
12.Peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We`re bound to miss sometimes.
13.Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
14.A Headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
15.Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
16.If you don`t dress like the Victoria`s Secret girls, don`t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
17.If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
18.Let us ogle. If we don`t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
19.Don`t rub the lamp if you don`t want the genie to come out.
20.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both.
21.Nothing says " I love you" like a blowjob in the morning