*Nikolas slept with Emily. This is old news now, but right after it happened, I tried to hide from it. Can you believe it? Me?! I did, though. When Nikolas came home, I could smell Emily's perfume.

I wanted to be suspicious. I wanted to kick him out of my bathtub and ask him point blank WHY he smelled like English flowers and papayas. Instead, I let him make love to me. When he touched me, I knew his hands had been on her.

God, I don't know how I knew, but I knew. Right then and there, I got angry. I felt like I had something to prove, like if he got it into his pretty little head to make comparisons, that I wanted to leave absolutely no doubt in his mind that the real honey was at home.

Needless to say, it was probably the best sex we ever had.

So, the next morning...I made a mental list of all the reasons he could possibly smell like her stinky perfume.

The number one guess: It rubbed off when she was sliding her treacherous little body all over my man!*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

*Rehashing the whole incident with Emily has left me with even more guilt than I had when it actually happened. I had an affair with my best friend. I was unfaithful to my one true love.

Jerk?

Probably. I really never intended to tell Gia about that night. The older I get, the more I understand the importance of the lie. That youthful idealism really starts to fade when you're the one committing the acts of betrayal. This is my ass on the line.

So, as far as Emily and I were concerned, Gia would never know. I wouldn't tell her. I would just forget it and be happy.

Sloppy strategy on my part...*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gia left Nikolas some coffee and a note on the kitchen counter. She shrugged on a light coat, grabbing Nikolas' keys off the mantle and leaving the cottage. She headed across the front lawn towards the Jag. As she reached the car, she noticed that a car had blocked her in the driveway. The silver Camry looked familiar. She couldn't quite place it, so she went over to the driver's side and knocked on the window.

A person was slouching down in the front seat. She couldn't really tell who it was because the window was foggy. The person sat up, clicking the button to lower the window.

''Zander?'' Gia asked, looking into the car.

''Hey, G, how's it going?'' he said hoarsely.

''Okay. What are you doing here? Were you coming in?''

''Umm...I need to talk to Nikolas.''

Zander was even more strange than usual. Gia scratched her chin with the ignition key. ''Well, Z, Nikolas is in the house, so unless you've suddenly developed telepathy, you're going to have to go INSIDE. You know, INSIDE...where Nikolas is...''

''I sure do love the way you point out the obvious.''

''What can I say? I try,'' she grinned. Her smile fell away as she watched the man. He looked haggard, the rims of his eyes a faint pink. Word gets around, she thought. Cautiously, she dared to ask, ''Is this about Emily?''

Zander stared at her for a few long seconds. ''Gia...'' he started.

''What?''

''How much do you love Nikolas?''

''Enough...'' she replied in a low voice.

''Enough?''

Gia bit her lip to keep it from quivering. ''Enough to be devastated if you try to tell me something I don't want to hear.''

''Enough to forgive?''

''Enough to wait until I'm ready.''

''Will you ever be ready?''

''Yeah. I need to spend some money first. I need some battle gear.''

Zander smirked, cutting the ignition and rolling the window up. Gia stepped back so that he could get out of the car. ''So, he's inside?''

Gia nodded. Zander followed her to the house. She let him in. ''He's not going to be dead when I come back, is he?''

Zander averted his eyes.

''Z!''

''He'll be fine, Gia. I just want to talk.''

''Well, just wait on the sofa. He'll be down any minute, now. This is way later than he usually sleeps.''

''He was probably tired after all of that 'activity'.''

Gia smiled wanly, closing the door behind her. She climbed into the Jag. She turned the music up incredibly loud. She grimaced when she realized that she was still blocked in by Zander's car. She turned the music up louder, backed up as far as possible, and then zoomed forward, crashing into the closed garage door. Immediately, she knew that there would be quite a few scratches in the paint and at least one busted headlight. The hood of the car wedged the door up, giving her enough room to maneuver. She turned the wheel sharply to the left. Throwing the car into reverse, she hit the accelerator, whipping the steering wheel in a fevered frenzy. There was a painful sound as expensive European metal scraped against old wood. She had to back into the hedges to avoid hitting Zander's car.

Once unstuck, Gia drove around the Camry, burning serious rubber as she disappeared down the street.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

*If there is one thing I have learned about Zander Smith, it's that he knows how to throw a punch.*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Nikolas rolled over, his hand reaching out for Gia. His eyes started to open when he realized that her side of the bed was empty. He leaned up on one elbow. He strained to hear if she was still in the bathroom. He could hear something, but it was nothing like the sound of water running or teeth being brushed. It was the revving of a motor and the clamor of steel and aluminum. The house shook.

He scrambled out of bed and to the large window. Through the slats of the blinds, he could just make out the tail end of his car careening back over the nicely trimmed hedges. ''GIA!'' he screamed, his fist ramming against the wall. He quickly pulled on some clothes. The squeal of tires sent him running back to the window. He reached it just in time to see his car drive away in a blur of waxed fury.

What the hell was she thinking?

He scratched the back of his neck, wandering out the door and down the stairs. What could Gia have possibly been thinking, driving his car so recklessly? Maybe, he thought, something's happened. It was possible that her mother had suffered another heart attack or that her brother had been shot in the line of duty. Those were reasonable explanations. He hadn't heard the phone ring, but he had been practically dead to the world after the previous night's events.

''Hey, there, sleepy head.''

Nikolas was startled by the sound of someone's voice. As he reached the bottom step, Zander emerged from the kitchen holding a cup of coffee. ''Zander?''

''Surprised to see me?''

''Why are you in my house?''

''Gia let me in,'' Zander replied, draining his coffee cup and setting it on the low table beside the sofa.

''Do you want something?''

''I want to talk.''

Nikolas walked down the final stair. He ambled over to stand in front of his guest. He had nothing but contempt for the man who had broken Emily's heart. ''We have nothing to talk about. If this has to do with Emily, save it. I'm not going to talk to her on your behalf.''

''I don't need you doing anything on my behalf, Cassadine!'' Zander growled, pointing his finger in Nikolas' face. ''You are so ****ing smug. So eager to walk around pinning your noble judgment on everyone else without taking time to realize that you're just as corrupt as the rest of us.''

''How dare you come into my house and insult me! I am not the one who is working for Sonny Corinthos! I am not the one who lied to Emily for months on end. I am not the one who broke her heart.''

Zander's eyes glowed with rage. ''People like you don't even realize that you're hypocrites, do you?''

''I am not a hypocrite,'' Nikolas launched in indignation.

''Really? I believe you are the one giving me this impassioned lecture on the pitfalls of lying and how I should treat my girlfriend. Meanwhile, you're treating Gia like crap.''

''You have no idea of how I treat Gia.''

''I think you're wrong. I think I know exactly how you treat her. I think she knows, too. You should have seen the way she peeled out of here. What did you do that she would be so happy to get the hell away from you, I wonder.''

Nikolas shifted uncomfortably. Zander seemed to know something. But how could he have found out? Emily had sworn she wouldn't say a word. Could her conscious have gotten the better of her? Squaring his shoulders, Nikolas asked through gritted teeth, ''What did you say to her?''

''What did I say?'' Zander repeated, circling around to stand behind the other man. ''You mean, did I tell her that her boyfriend is a cheating bastard who takes advantage of emotionally distraught women.''

Nikolas' breath caught in his throat. The whole room was spinning out of control. He closed his eyes, trying to block out the enormity of this situation. Emily's boyfriend was a loose cannon. There was no telling what he had said to Gia.

''Nah, I didn't have to. She already knew.''

''What do you mean she knew?'' Nikolas asked. Pure panic was coursing through his body at that point. It wasn't possible.

Zander moved away, going around the front of the sofa. He stopped to play with one of the pillows, tossing it up in the air and catching it. ''She knows,'' he started, letting the pillow fall back onto the sofa, ''that you slept with...Emily. How could you do that-''

''What?'' Nikolas yelled, cutting him off, ''How could I do that to *you*?!''

''This isn't about me! We're not friends, I don't expect any loyalty from you. But, I cannot believe that you would use Emily the way you did. YOU KNEW that we had just fought when you picked her up. I know you did!''

''You left her in the middle of nowhere! And you want to talk about me!''

''I didn't leave her, Cassadine. She wanted me to go, but I would never leave Emily like that, so I circled back to watch and make sure she was all right. I watched her call you. I watched her get into your car. I watched you to...do what you did in that damn boxcar. I watched...''

Nikolas turned away. ''I wasn't using her.''

''You use everyone! G and I are friends of sorts. Ever since she testified for me during the trial, we've been comfortable. I hate to see her all caught up with you. I know that Emily had reasons. I gave her enough of them. But you, how could you treat her that way.''

''I don’t have to justify myself to you!''

''Of course you don't. People like you don't have to justify yourselves to anyone. It must be nice to pretend that you're better than everyone else. ''

Nikolas glared at him. Zander walked back to stand in front of him, continuing, ''But you're not, Nikolas. Deep down inside, you have to know that you're nothing but slime.''

''First Juan, and now you. I'm starting to think that Emily has horrific judgment when it comes to men.''

Zander laughed, deftly punching Nikolas in the face.

''Get out of my house!'' he ordered, rubbing his reddening face.

''With pleasure,'' Zander said, attempting to punch the other man again. Nikolas blocked that punch and landed one of his own on Zander's well-defined jaw. Zander growled in rage, tackling Nikolas around the waist.

Both men crashed to the ground, punching and growling like a couple of primates at the zoo.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

*In the seven years that Nikolas and I have been married, there have, in actuality, been four different Jaguars. There was the first one, the one he had when I met him, and then two more that met with various ''accidents'' over the years. It shames me to admit that all of these ''accidents'' were at my hands.

I have found that nothing gets Nikolas' attention like messing with his car. So, the first Jag fell by the wayside in a rather dramatic fashion after his fling with Emily.

I'd love to feel remorse, or regret, but when I think about it, all I do is laugh.*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gia pulled her shopping bags out of the trunk. She stuffed them in the back seat of the waiting taxi cab. Slamming the trunk shut, she stepped back to take a long look at Nikolas' car.

The passenger side was heavily scarred with deep scratches in the paint. A huge scrap marred the hood where she had driven into the garage door. Both headlights and a taillight were busted. She sighed heavily, looking at her boyfriend's pride and joy. It wasn't totaled. Any auto body expert could fix it easily.

IF they could find it.

Gia maneuvered the car keys off of the C-shaped key ring. She tossed them in the front seat, kicking the door shut. Sliding into the cab, she said, ''Do you know how to get to Port Charles?''

''Upstate?''

''Yep.''

''Sure, I can get you there. It'll be a long ride, though. At least a couple of hours.''

''Yeah, well I got time,'' she replied, ''Take the scenic route. I want the full experience.''

~*~
By the time she got home, it was dark. The lights of the cottage made it look homey and invited in the wooded setting. She gave the driver the last of her cash and lugged her bags onto the small front porch. Gia pulled her keys out of her pocket, but found she didn't need them. Nikolas swung the door open. She noticed the black eye and the busted lip, but instead of acknowledging it, she kissed him on the cheek and pushed her way into the house.

''Gia. . .''

She tossed her packages on the floor. She carelessly flipped through the mail piled on the table.

''Gia. . .''

''What is it, Nikolas?''

''We have to talk...''

Gia wrapped her arms around herself, keeping her back to him. ''I know you spent last night with Emily. I want to know...I need to know... if you slept with her.''

Nikolas tried to swallow the lump in his throat. ''The fight we had last night made me question-''

''Hey! I didn't ask you about the fight, Nikolas. I asked you if you slept with Emily,'' she hissed, staring at the bright flames popping in the fireplace.

''I heard you.''

''Is there an answer?''

Nikolas stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. ''Yes.''

''YES there's an answer to the question or YES, you slept with Emily?''

''Both.''

Gia made some kind of muffled sob. Her head fell forward and her hand came up to press against her chest.

''Gia, I-''

''Not now,'' she replied, shaking his hands off her. She picked up her bags and headed upstairs. Halfway up, she stopped, turning around to face him. ''I had an accident in your car.''

''I know. I heard your 'accident' this morning when I woke up. Did you drop the car off at the shop?''

''No.''

''Where is it?'' he asked, looking mildly alarmed.

''In the Bronx.''

''What?''

''I went to Brooklyn to see some of my friends. They'd never been a Jag before, so we all went on a little drive. We ran out of gas in the Bronx.''

''My car is in the Bronx? I have to go get it!''

''What's left of it...I really don't think a Jaguar, even a wrecked one, will last too long down there. I left the keys in it. Either someone stole it, or it'll be stripped by the time you get there.''

Nikolas stared at her. ''Why, Gia, why'd you do it?''

''The same reason you slept with Emily. BECAUSE I COULD!''
~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Chapter 5

Diary of Dysfunction

The Library